Yugioh Endgame: Duel 5 – Three Nights in New York


Yifan has always loved horses, even wanting a pony when she was a little girl, and today it is the only cliche she is willing to die for. And she still loves horses to this day, so much she owns a small park in the Chinese countryside just to be with the creatures. Yes, they are swift, bold, loyal, and steadfast, but also have great intelligence: an eye for subtle details in body language, are quick in learning, possess problem solving skills, and even form associations.

As Yifan often wistfully says to herself during moments of weakness and now says to you, “How humane, how rational, free of praying and being preyed on. What would it be like if horses ruled the world?”

Yifan is glad to be away from the world. She feeds her friends carrots, caresses their noble faces, kisses them, rides them when the day is not too cold and windy. If she can save anything while the planet burns, even if it means not saving herself, it would be this small herd. She even has a bunker with provisions just for the horses. Perhaps in a different day and age she is not a monster.

Speaking of which, her phone rings, the caller none other than her girlfriend Pegasus. She picks up the phone and instantly hears his anxious voice. “Who goofed now?”

Indeed, the world blazed outside over the past three nights ever since Maya shut down New York, taking the Wall Street stock exchange with her. Yifan herself took a hit, obviously, as she had to fire the domestic staff in her country house but she withdrew many assets and converted a chunk of her savings to cash and stocks of food, clothes, and weapons sparing herself as best as she could from the worst blows.  

Today, Yifan gets to see more inconveniences as already a few migrants from Beijing start camping on the fringes of her park. She can almost smell the filth of those vile people. And China’s airport shut down but using a private jet would be trite. Why not stretch her wings a bit?

Yifan sits down and meditates for about an hour, building her power, squeezing it into her center until a kind of thermonuclear fusion occurs and a star of energy is born. Yifan grows in size, her skin blackens into obsidian scales, her shoulder blades grow into wings, coarse black hair covers her body, her face stretches into the snouted face of a great bat; she transforms into her very Ka spirit. The dragon takes to the cold air and within a small moment breaks multiple times past the speed of sound, easily surpassing the SR-71 Blackbird several times over.

Yifan lands on Slide Mountain in upstate New York within less than half an hour, reverts almost back to normal, saving a little Ka left to dash down the mountain and woods to West Shokan. There, she meets a black limousine attended to by a driver. The man sees one of his employers and raises an eyebrow beneath his thick sunglasses. “How’d you get here so fast? I was wonderin’ why ya had me drive to the middle of nowhere.”

Yifan bluntly tells him the truth. “I can use the Yugioh equivalent of chi to transform into a dragon.”

The driver snubs Yifan for her joke. “And I have health insurance!”

“Lame.” Yifan says as she gets in the car. The driver chauffeurs her through miles of tent cities filled with poor and once middle class people who fled the large towns and cities over the course of three years. She briefly locks eyes with a hoary wraith of a man roasting a squirrel by a small campfire, his clothes too big for his starving body. His large intense eyes briefly flicker with hatred.  And over there, as the chauffeur passes through one of the many dense new slums surrounding the city, a caravan of new migrants who clinged on to their wealth until Maya made them lose everything.

Next, New York itself, city of dead dreams. It is so different than in used to be, so quiet, dark, and empty; no lights at Times Square, hedges outgrown and uncared for, no blinking traffic lights, no traffic of any kind, every small store shattered and pillaged. Was that dried blood and a dead body? Huh. Maya could leave a bigger mess.

“Ya know,” the driver muses, “I mean, for the sake of argument, wouldn’t every military base detect ya when, ya know, ya flyin’ around and stuff.”

“I project a shield that blocks detection from any machine.” Yifan answers graciously.

The car reaches a small part of the city still alive, now gated by a small squad of guards and robots running on backup power, stopping by a KaibaCorp building. The driver bids Yifan farewell. “Tell the other bosses I said hi, will ya?”

Yifan nods and gives him a generous tip for his trouble. She enters the skyscraper not to climb to an office at the top but to descend to a large basement at the bottom. Pegasus, Kepura, Martis are there, slouching in a room that is almost completely dark. Yifan sees Kaiba working furiously at three large computers, the only source of light in the room, with Jolene and Sofia as his aids in hacking.

Yifan clears her throat, alerting everyone to her presence since she slipped in the room too quietly to be heard. “Max says hi to everyone.”

“Who on earth is Max?” Kepura asks, annoyed.

“One of our chauffeurs.” Pegasus reminds him.

Kepura snaps his fingers. “Oh, that’s right! I remember! Forgive me; I sometimes forget employees have names.”

Kaiba ignores Yifan, too busy working to revert the blackout, Jolene and Sofia doing the same. Yifan notices the two young women hurting and aching, their bodies covered in bandages. Yifan wonders why Momentum did not blow up the whole tristate area and Kaiba, as if answering her personally, addresses everyone, “Maya and whatever gophers she has under her command could only disrupt Momentum’s ability to supply electricity but Momentum itself is powered by the Millennium Items.”

And so, as logic dictates, Momentum is safe. Kaiba’s tone is confident, meaning he must be close to solving New York’s blackout problem. Within an hour – voila! – all lights in the downtown area return, almost blinding everyone in the room.

But Kaiba is not done yet. He turns to Kepura with a scowl. “You had one job, Kepura, one job: maintain the tristate area, which means guarding it, and you failed miserably. If you were my employee I would not only fire you I would rehire you just to fire you again and I would rehire you again to fire you again one hundred more times!”

Kepura clenches his aching forehead. “Look, I guard a Momentum generator and I have another job running the United States Army. I’m as overworked as an unpaid college intern. Cut me a break and take some laxative for once.”

“It’s your responsibility and your failure.” Kaiba grunts in disgust.

With that business out of the way, Pegasus proceeds to a new issue on the agenda. He produces a floppy disk from his red coat. The surviving police found this on the body of their chief. Perhaps you can play it for us. “Perhaps you can help us play it, Kaiba boy.”

“A floppy disk!” Kaiba flusters. “Who in this day and age still uses a floppy disk!? I can’t play this! None of the computers has a port for it!”

Yifan almost chokes on her own laughter. She cannot believe Maya can be this funny. “Are you telling me that you, in a room with quantum supercomputers powered by a virtual perpetual motion machine, can’t play a floppy disk?”

“Yes.” Kaiba says in a deadpan manner. He calls some security personnel and orders them to get an older computer. The guards leave and come back moments later with a big clunky box of plastic and metal, a Windows 98. He sets up the clumsy machine and puts the floppy disk in it.

Maya appears on screen, sitting behind what looks like the desk of a CEO, and behind her lie two densely packed storyboards. Maya herself is immaculate, wearing a thin black business suit and a tight black skirt with a light green shirt underneath, her only jewel a small gold necklace. Her hair is fully permed, letting her thick locks shine at their most lustrous. She might as well be the CEO of a company.   

She gives the real exposition of the story. “Having it all was one of my dreams. I became a millionaire by becoming World Champion of a children’s card game. I even had a husband and a child. If I wanted to, I could have invested the prize money and created a business.” She lights up a hundred dollar bill, uses it to light a cigar, and inhales deeply, reclining into her chair. She puts her black high heels on the desk and slowly breathes out the smoke through her mouth and nostrils, looking like a raksha or a dragon.   

“But I didn’t. I gave my money away and dropped off the grid for three years. Now I’m back and I need your help. I address you, mankind; your species, homo sapiens; all of you who have lived, are alive today, and will live. This is your last chance to avoid your doom. What is the threat? It is not so much the vastly wealthy masters of mankind, though they are a pretty big deal, but your very nature, your hubris.”

She points to the two storyboards behind her. “You have two doors ahead of you, one on the left and one on the right. You think one of the doors is where Momentum will lead us to a prosperous future if only big bad business is replaced with an equal just society and we save the environment. But it doesn’t matter which door you choose. It will lead to the end of our species.

Maya delivers the full salvo. “One future is our violent extinction. Momentum may give us near unlimited energy but the gifts of the earth are finite as ever. We will run out of raw materials and, when we do, every developed society, now utterly interconnected and dependent on each other, will collapse over time. As we head towards disaster, Momentum creates a growing ‘satellite’ class of slum-dwellers while fewer people hoard all the gains and use robots as slaves. But one day, when the earth is all used up, the high priests of this world will have nothing to stand against billions of starving people.

“The other future is our quiet extinction. Artificial intelligence will one day surpass us and slowly we will be assimilated into a Momentum Internet of machines. We may become cyborgs at first but we’ll become more and more machine over time until we gently go into the night. The nerds I bullied in high school of course got everything wrong when creating Momentum and the new machines you see around you. The only way we human beings can progress is not through better technology or an expanding market. It is through creative achievement.

She pulls out an old duel disk from under her desk. “As long we serve machines and money instead of machines and money serving us we will never work for our best interests. I became National Champion with this old machine serving me as a powerful weapon. I call on it once more to be my sword for one last battle. The only way to defeat the hierophants of this world is to defeat them in a shadow game as the Millennium Items power their Momentum generators. Nothing else will work. I guarantee it.

“I will destroy the high mages, knocking off one miter after another, but I can’t do it alone. Join me. Let all of us from every dispossessed slum, village, city, and bunker do this together. We can end this nightmare.” For her final assault Maya tears down the two storyboards behind her, revealing an open door streaming with sunlight. “Let’s find the third door. We must if we are going to survive and prosper. All the cards are in your hand. We can win if only you have the courage to play them. I’ll be waiting for you. We will meet again.”

The screen dissolves to static. Kaiba turns off the computer. “I don’t buy anything she said for a moment. How can anyone predict the future with such detail? She’s selling something and, as the king of a commercial empire, I know more than anyone else there is an ulterior motive behind the sales pitch. We must deduce what she’s really planning and rat her out.”

“She must be busy spreading the word.” Martis speaks up for the first time, his voice quiet and monotone as always. “The most disaffected communities are those in the so-called third world.”

Kepura picks up the logic and takes it to its conclusion. “We must devise a strategy. I suggest we aid Anubisius control the Middle East as Maya will most likely strike there. Also be prepared for the possibility of her hiding in Russia or India. It is between Anubisius’ territory and Yifan’s so control of the area is in dispute.”

Kaiba sets his eyes on Yifan’s, acknowledging her presence for the first time. Piercing deep blue eyes meet gentle dark brown ones. Kaiba can’t read her so he asks for her opinion.

And Yifan provides it. “Maya made an effective propaganda film. She constrains the viewer to see only two outcomes in a tiresome situation; both of them lead to ultimate doom. Damnation seems inevitable until she shows the way to salvation if only you, as evangelists say, open your heart and walk with her. If you accept her claims she gives you an ultimatum you can’t refuse. As for her dueling, I say it’s impressive but ultimately subpar. She will need stronger stuff than Archfiends if she hopes to defeat any of us.”

Kaiba scowls at Yifan, instantly made suspicious. Yifan is talking about Maya as if she is her mother or her after school teacher. Are they in it together? But if they are, how?

Pegasus decides to diffuse the tension. “By the way, Yifan, how did you get here so fast and why are you dressed like a jockey? Is it avante garde fashion? I think it’s absolutely dreadful.”

“I can fly.” Yifan says.

“And Donald Trump is president of the United States.” Kaiba snorts.

“That’s a really lame joke.” Squeaks Mokuba Kaiba, Seto Kaiba’s little brother, always following his big brother’s heels like a small dog.

“Shut up, Mokuba.” Kaiba grunts, and everyone has a good laugh.

Duel 4 Created Cards

MAYA’S CARDS

Gambitpawn Archfiend
EARTH/Level 2/Fiend/ATK 1200/DEF 0

  • If you Normal Summon this card, you can discard 1 card from your hand: Special Summon 1 “Terrorking Archfiend” or “Infernalqueen Archfiend” from your hand or Deck.
  • If “Archfiend” monster(s) you control would be destroyed: you can destroy this monster instead.
  • Pay 500 Life Points during each of your Standby Phases. When you lose Life Points from a card effect: increase the ATK and DEF of 1 “Terrorking Archfiend” or “Infernalqueen Archfiend” you control by the same amount.

Octoknight Archfiend
WIND/Level 4/Fiend/ATK 2000/DEF 1600

  • Half the ATK and DEF of this card if your opponent controls no monsters.
  • During the Battle Phase you can Tribute this card. Target 1 “Archfiend” monster you control: during this turn, it can attack your opponent directly.
  • Pay 900 Life Points during each of your Standby Phases. When you lose Life Points from a card effect: inflict damage to your opponent equal to half that amount.

Flankfool Archfiend
WATER/Level 3/ATK 1600/DEF 300
TUNER

  • If this card is sent from the field to the Graveyard this turn, banish it during the End Phase: add 1 “Archfiend” card from your Graveyard to your hand..
  • If your opponent’s monster attacks 1 “Archfiend” monster you control: you can Special Summon this card from your Graveyard and, if you do, negate the attack.
  • Pay 500 Life Points during each of your Standby Phases. When you lose Life Points from a card effect: decrease the ATK and DEF of all monsters your opponent controls by the same amount until the end of this turn.

Gunnerook Archfiend
LIGHT/Level 3/ATK 1900/DEF 800

  • You can discard this card during the End Phase: Special Summon all “Archfiend” monster(s) from your Graveyard that were sent from the field to the Graveyard this turn.
  • Once per turn: you can banish this card from your Graveyard: Special Summon 1 “Terrorking Archfiend” or “Infernalqueen Archfiend” from your Deck or Graveyard.
  • Pay 500 Life Points during each of your Standby Phases. When you lose Life Points from a card effect: discard 1 “Archfiend” card and draw 1 card.  

Archfiend Battleballer
DARK/Level 2/Fiend/ATK 0/DEF 0
TUNER

  • You take no battle damage from battles involving this card.
  • If this card is destroyed in battle: increase the ATK of 1 “Archfiend” monster you control by the same ATK of the monster this card battled until the end of this turn and, if you do, destroy the monster that battled this card.

Archfiend Swordsqueen
DARK/Level 7/Fiend/ATK 2500/DEF 2100

  • If at least 2 Fiend monsters you control are sent to the Graveyard during this turn: you can Special Summon this monster from your hand or Graveyard.
  • If this card is Special Summoned: increase the ATK and DEF of this card by the total Levels of all monsters you control sent to the Graveyard during this turn x100 until your End Phase.

Archfiend Goddess Caissa DARK/Level 10/Fiend/ATK ?/top-left, top-right, bottom-left, bottom-right
LINK (4 “Archfiend” monsters)

  • The ATK of this card becomes the number of “Archfiend” monsters in your Graveyard x800.
  • Once per turn: you can Special Summon 1 “Archfiend” monsters from your hand, Deck, or Graveyard. It cannot attack your opponent directly and is destroyed at the End Phase.
  • If this card would leave the field: you can banish this card and 1 Fiend monster you control or in your Graveyard. Special Summon both monsters at the end of this turn.

Unhealed Battle Scars
Continuous Trap
(This card is always treated as an “Archfiend” card.)

  • You can activate this card if you control “Archfiend” monster(s). Your opponent also pays the same Life Points that you pay for “Archfiend” monsters.
  • If you do not control “Archfiend” monster(s): destroy this card.

Ring of Fire
Continuous Trap

  • Place 1 Fire Ring Counter on this card for each 100 points of battle damage you take.
  • During your Main Phase 1: you can send this card to the Graveyard. Increase the ATK of 1 DARK or FIRE monster you control by the number of Fire Ring Counters on this card x100.

Relay Soul (anime)
Normal Trap

  • When your Life Points become 0: Special Summon 1 monster from your hand (you do not Lose the Duel). When the Special Summoned monster is removed from the field, your opponent Wins the Duel.

Infernal Bombast
Normal Spell

  • Target 1 Fiend monster you control: double its ATK. Destroy it after the Battle Phase.

Pump Up! (anime)
Normal Spell

  • Target 1 face-up monster on the field: double its ATK until the End Phase.

MAGIAN’S CARDS

Double Fusion (errata)
Normal Spell

Pay 1000 Life Points. Fusion Summon 1 Fusion Monster from your Extra Deck, using monsters from your hand or field as Fusion Material. Then, immediately activate this effect again.

Beast’s Pride
Normal Trap
Level 4 or lower Beast monsters on the field cannot be destroyed this turn.

Biparte Unicorn
LIGHT/Level 6/Beast/ATK 2400/DEF 1000
FUSION (2 Level 3 or lower Beast monsters)

  • Once per turn: you can Special Summon 1 Beast monster from your hand. You can only Special Summon Beast monsters for the rest of this turn.

Triparte Unicorn
LIGHT/Level 7/Beast/ATK 2800/DEF 1000
FUSION (“Biparte Unicorn” + 1 Level 3 or lower Beast monster)

  • If this card battles a monster and inflicts battle damage to your opponent, you can banish 3 Beast monsters from your Graveyard: send cards from the top of your opponent’s Deck to the Graveyard for each 100 points of battle damage.
  • If this card is destroyed by card effect: Special Summon 3 Beast monsters from your Banished Zone.

GIANT DIVINE SOLDIER OF OBELISK (anime)
DIVINE/Level 10/Divine-Beast/ATK 4000/DEF 4000

  • Requires 3 Tributes to Normal Summon (cannot be Normal Set). This card’s Normal Summon and Special Summon cannot be negated. When Normal Summoned or Special Summoned, cards and effects cannot be activated.
  • Once per turn, during the End Phase, if this card was Special Summoned from the Graveyard: Send it to the Graveyard.
  • Cannot be targeted or removed from the field by card effects. A card effect can only affect this card for 1 turn.
  • You can Tribute 2 monsters (other than this card): Destroy all monsters your opponent controls and increase the ATK of this card to INF during this turn.    

SKY DRAGON OF OSIRIS (anime)
DIVINE/Level 10/Divine-Beast/ATK ?/DEF ?

  • Requires 3 Tributes to Normal Summon (cannot be Normal Set). This card’s Normal Summon and Special Summon cannot be negated. When Normal Summoned or Special Summoned, cards and effects cannot be activated.
  • Once per turn, during the End Phase, if this card was Special Summoned from the Graveyard: Send it to the Graveyard.
  • Cannot be targeted or removed from the field by card effects. A card effect can only affect this card for 1 turn.
  • Gains 1000 ATK and DEF for each card in your hand.
  • If a monster(s) is Normal or Special Summoned to your opponent’s field: That monster(s) loses 2000 ATK and DEF, then if its ATK or DEF has been reduced to 0 as a result, destroy it.

SUN GOD DRAGON OF RA (anime)
DIVINE/Level 10/Divine-Beast/ATK ?/DEF ?

  • Requires 3 Tributes to Normal Summon (cannot be Normal Set). This card’s Normal Summon and Special Summon cannot be negated. When Normal Summoned or Special Summoned, cards and effects cannot be activated.
  • Once per turn, during the End Phase, if this card was Special Summoned from the Graveyard: Send it to the Graveyard.
  • Cannot be targeted or removed from the field by card effects. A card effect can only affect this card for 1 turn.
  • If Normal Summoned: This card gains ATK and DEF equal to the total ATK and DEF of all monsters Tributed to Normal Summon this card. You can Tribute monsters you control: This card gains ATK and DEF equal to the total ATK and DEF of all monsters Tributed.  
  • You can pay Life Points so that you only have 1 left; this card gains ATK and DEF equal to the amount of Life Points paid.
  • You can pay 1000 Life Points: Destroy all monsters your opponent controls.

Yugioh Endgame: Duel 4 – Lights Out

Maya: 7200 || Magian: 7000

The big duel catches everyone’s attention in the big city by this point. The police and protestors, who violently clashed moments ago, watch Maya and Magian square off in rapt attention as if the duel is an epic baseball game. It might as well be spring even though it is the cusp of winter. A few news reporters arrive at the scene by this point alongside many drones capturing tonight’s news from the air.

Maya almost purrs as a contented lion as everything is going according to plan. As she said many years ago, dueling is not about winning but about making a point. And of course about making a show. Sofia secretly planted electric bombs in both Maya’s and Magian’s duel disks. The loser will become burnt meat. Now isn’t that fun? True, this kind of entertainment is a little rough, but the degenerate masses always enjoy a blood sport.    

As for Magian, he never enjoyed playing a card game as much as he does now, like the good old days when he played poker but, instead of betting money, the players had to take turns playing Russian roulette. A part of him exhilarates in the crowd and media gathered around him and his opponent though he laments over the few human faces awash in the sea of machines. He had a German Shepherd, Ellie, a true companion after his family left him, but she died from gunshot wounds during a police chase. Dogs and cops no longer work together. Unthinkable.

MAYA’S TURN: Maya pays Life Points for the upkeep of her Terrorking Archfiend (Maya LP 7200 → 6400). Then, she expands her devilish army. “I activate Archfiend General from my hand; I discard it to add Pandemonium.” She activates the Field Spell and the street transforms into a fiery pit guarded by the bones of ancient fiends long extinct.

“The bowels of Hell,” Magian comments. “Where your black soul is destined.”

Maya retorts, smirking, “Guess we’ll be playing card games in Hell forever.

“I’ll use Archfiend Emperor’s effect to banish an Archfiend card in my Graveyard to pop your back row.” Surely enough, the monstrous king draws upon dark magic from the netherworld and burns away one card. “Now, my dark emperor, wipe out Triparte Unicorn!”

“Sorry to burst your bubble.” Magian counters. “You destroyed the wrong face down card. I activate Mirror Force!” A holy barrier catches the archfiend’s hand blows him to pieces, taking out Terrorking with him.”

“Mirror Force? How quant.” Maya scoffs. “I activate A Deal With Dark Ruler! Destroying my Level 8 monster fulfilled my contract, letting me Special Summon Berserk Dragon from my Deck!” An even more ferocious monster, a black dragon skeleton with evil glowing red eyes, lands on the field, shaking the ground. (Magian LP 7000 → 6000)   

The shock overwhelms Magian so much he nearly falls to the ground. The protestors cheer from the back, rejoicing to see a porker eat some concrete. “Do what you like! No matter what happens I will defeat you! I’m not a winner, not a quitter! I told you I’m not good at giving up!” Magian yells, desperate to save face.

“Please,” Maya snorts. You’re not an anime protagonist. You’re a porker, a mook, a redshirt.  I eat henchmen like you for Sunday brunch.”

“Keep making fun of me and see where that gets you!”

Maya wonders, pretending to be clueless, “I mean, I would roast you but cooking pork isn’t kosher. Speaking of roasting, Berserk Dragon, cook me some Triparte Unicorn!” The black dragon burns its hobbled quarry to ash. The meat, needless to say, is overdone.

“And I activate Escape from the Dark Dimension! I banished her to use my Archfiend Emperor’s effect. Now, Her Majesty arrives with pomp and circumstance! I Special Summon Archfiend Empress!” A tall dark queen bearing a certain resemblance to Mary Stuart graces the court, accompanied by a small orchestra of fiends playing royal music with duck kazoos.  

This little stunt causes Magian to laugh in good fun. Something about it makes him, as an Italian Catholic, very happy.

But Maya puts his moment of bliss to a sudden end. “Empress, attack him directly!” The archfiend conjures a deadly spell of fire with her scepter and blasts Magian, throwing him off his feet. (Magian LP 6000 → 4100) I enter my End Phase and send Gunnerook Archfiend from my hand to the Graveyard.” All of Maya’s monsters that died this turn come back, even Archfiend of Gilfer, and Maya draws a card amid more cheers from the protestors.

MAGIAN’S TURN: Magian sighs in relief. This strategy will help him stall a bit. “I activate two Card of Safe Return and then Monster Reborn to bring back Triparte Unicorn!” His monster gallops up from the Graveyard back to the plane of the living and Magian draws two cards. “I’ll strengthen my unicorn with Wild Nature’s Release!” The unicorn gains so much power and rage it boils completely red, steam coming from its nostrils. (ATK 2800 → 4800)

Maya grimaces with a humorous expression made famous by Obama. “Not bad for a mook.”

“Triparte Unicorn, skewer Archfiend Emperor!” Magian commands. “Show Maya the strength that surpasses Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!” The unicorn would drill the emperor a new hole but his queen, Archfiend Empress, is able to protect any Archfiend from being destroyed and so blocks the attack. (Maya Life 6400 → 4600)

“Isn’t friendship magic?” Magian snarks.

“No. No, it is not.” Maya says.

Magian, forced to a defensive position, sets a card facedown and ends his turn with a grumble. His Triparte Unicorn dies from the effect of Wild Nature’s Release, which triggers its own effect Magian Special Summons his three banished beasts: Elephun, Gallis, and The Wicked Worm Beast.  

MAYA’S TURN: “I enter my Standby Phase, so I banish Gunnerook from my Graveyard to revive Infernalqueen Archfiend from the same realm.” A black cloud rises from the ground and forms into a lesser queen of fiends, and Maya draws a card. “And I banish an Archfiend from my Graveyard so Emperor can destroy your back row.”

“I activate my Set card: Beast’s Pride!” While the Archfiend Emperor does burn Magian’s card to ashes, his monsters all glow with a powerful prideful red aura, protecting them any form of destruction this turn.

This doesn’t sadden Maya too much. “Oh, well. I’ll just strengthen my chess army. I network Terrorking, Infernalqueen, Empress, and Gilfer to Link Summon their patron deity, Archfiend Goddess Caissa!” Maya’s fiends merge into the four corners of a six point grid portal, activating it, and the great goddess of dark beauty emerges.

“I use one of her many effects to Special Summon Flankfool Archfiend from my Deck. Then I Special Summon Archfiend Commander from my hand.” Two new demons appear, a frightening jester wearing a mockery of a bishop’s vestments and a larger fiend in formal clerical jewels, which destroys the jester right after he comes from the field. Thus, Maya adds another Archfiend monster to her head because of Pandemonium.

“I activate Call of the Archfiend, discarding a Fiend monster to Special Summon Archfiend Empress from my Graveyard. And I Normal Summon Archfiend Battleballer!” The queen of devils returns and a new subject of hers, a sportsman in football gear, joins her side.

Maya inspects her Graveyard: 8 Archfiend monsters. “Yup, it checks out. Caissa has 6400 attack strength. Bobby Fischer would be proud.”

Magian gives Maya a stare so blank Maya can almost hear crickets in the background. Maya sighs. “6400, like 64, like the number of squares on the chessboard, and Fischer died when he was 64? Whatever. It’s cool how Archfiends symbolise every sport, even chess.”

Magian forcefully rejects the idea. “Chess is not a sport!”

“You’re a professional party pooper, you know that?” Maya complains. “It’s literally part of your job to ruin parties.”

“What can I say? Drug dens go against truth and justice.”

The protestors hiss and boo at Magian for such a remark. The police shout them down in anger.

“You really got brainwashed by Nixon, didn’t you, you old fart?” Maya says, annoyed. “Regardless, I set three cards facedown. Since I now enter the End Phase, I can banish Flankfool from my Graveyard to return a dead Archfiend to my hand.” Maya carefully selects one such monster, the first one Magian milled. Fitting.    

Meanwhile, her Berserk Dragon weakens further. (ATK 3000 → 2500)

MAGIAN’S TURN: “I activate Ayers Rock Sunrise to Special Summon Biparte Unicorn from the Graveyard!” He two-piece chimera returns to the field. “I really hope my next two cards help me.” Magian says to himself, silently praying to God. He then draws two cards.

“Excellent! I activate Biparte Unicorn’s effect to Special Summon Green Baboon, Defender of the Forest from my hand!” A barbaric ape giant wiedling a cudgel also appears. “And now, I Tribute Elephun, Gallis, and the Worm Beast to Tribute Summon GIANT DIVINE SOLDIER OF OBELISK!” The heavens themselves seem to quake and the street almost splits open as the god descends to earth in the form of a gargoyle as tall as a small building.     

Maya gasps in shock and despair, “By Alfred Robert Kahn, how could I let this happen!” The activists wail openly, their faces ashen, while the police rejoice.

“Who is laughing now, you smug c*nt.” Magian gloats. “Time to eat your words! I offer Biparte Unicorn and Green Baboon to Obelisk to activate his greatest ability, SOUL ENERGY MAX!” The god clasps both monsters so hard their guts pop out, absorbing their energy until its color transforms from blue to bright purple, its attack strength becoming infinite! “GOD HAND CRUSHER!” Obelisk smashes through Maya’s army, obliterating them in an instead, and strikes Maya directly with its fist. (Maya LP 4600 → 0)

Maya flies several meters in the air and crashes on the steel traffic grates, hitting her head so hard she nearly blackens out from a concussion. She vomits on the street, her body violently shuddering. Now she knows how Malik felt after he got battered by Obelisk but for Maya it is even worse as great god now has infinite power.

Magian exults in his successful assault, eagerly watching Maya cough and hack her insides out. He freely ejaculates every victory shout he knows, which is only five, and the police join him. The protestors fall on their knees and begin crying. They know they are done for.

But something isn’t right. The duel holograms should disappear by now but they did not. Why!? And Maya’s field has a face up Continuous Trap Card, which keeps gaining Counters at breakneck speed: 20 Counters, 60 Counters, 100 Counters, 200 Counters, 700 Counters, 999 Counters. Magian was so euphoric he forgot to notice Maya played a Trap Card. But why should it matter?

The protestors ask themselves the same question. Maya slowly crawls her way back to the field, still hacking now and then. She shouts, “Time out! Time out! TIME OUT! How in the name of 4Kids Entertainment did you get your hands on Obelisk!?”

“A lovely rich Chinese lady gave a copy of the three god cards to me.” Magian explains. “Very generous of her, though I have no idea why.”

“Yes,” Maya says to herself and you, the audience. “Why would Yifan give such powerful tools to a random chud? Unless she wanted to test me by setting me up against a god. How devious of her. Truly worthy of the Asian stereotype.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway. You lost.” Magian reminds her.

“Did I?” Maya winks at him. “I activate Relay Soul! You brought my Life Points to 0 but this card carries my existence to a monster I get to Special Summon from my hand. Come forth, Archfiend Swordsqueen!” A brand new creature emerges, a demon swordswoman in light armor with martial arts so graceful she seems to be dancing. “She also grows stronger by the combined Levels of all the Fiend monsters you killed.” (Archfiend Swordsqueen ATK 2500 → 5700, Maya LP: RELAY SOUL)

“Talk about a broken card effect.” Magian complains.

Maya hits back, “Says the guy who played a god card with infinite attack strength! I play Relay Soul and I’m cheap. When Yugi plays Relay Soul he cleverly escapes the jaws of defeat!”

“You’re not Yugi. You are not anointed by God to be King of Games.”

“Please. I don’t have to be a pharaoh, a god on earth. I only have to be Maya, a normal mortal human being, which is far greater. Killing god is the bare minimum required for someone as strong as me.”

MAYA’S TURN: “My face up Trap Card, Ring of Fire, should have infinite counters since I took infinite battle damage but it doesn’t look like the designers foresaw this possibility. I send it to the Graveyard to power up Archfiend Swordsqueen by 100 points for each counter!” 999 Fire Ring Counters infuse the fiend with their hellfire, bringing her attack strength to exponential levels. (Archfiend Swordsqueen ATK 5700 → 105, 600)

“WHAT!?” Magian gasps in utter surprise. The protesters cheer for Maya once more.

“I activate Infernal Bombast to double her power!” The warrior queen roars as even more hellfire strengthens her. (Archfiend Swordsqueen ATK 105, 600 → 211,200)

“WHAAAAAAAAT!? Magian shouts again. The protesters reach a deafening roar.

“And I reveal my face down card, Pump Up! I double Swordsqueen’s power once more!” The archfiend blazes in a flame as bright as the sun. (Archfiend Swordsqueen ATK 211,200 → 422, 400) “Not exactly infinite but blame KaibaCorp’s primitive technology.”

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?” Magian is flabbergasted.

The protesters break into chant:
“Hey hey! Ho no!
Pink fat porkers got to go!
Ho ho! Hey hey!
No Momentum U.S.A.!”

Maya gives her farewell speech to all of New York City. “I said before dueling is not about winning but about telling a message! Here it is! Neither you, nor your police force, nor your city, nor your country, nor your high mages are a match for me! I embody something far greater than any nation, any god, any civilization!”

Maya roars a final time, “Archfiend Swordsqueen, destroy Obelisk and Magian!” Her ace monster leaps high in the air, briefly turning night into day, and in a blaze cuts Obelisk in half down the middle. The great god shatters into flames. Magian screams as the meteor storm rains down on him. (Magian LP 4100 → 0)     

Maya concludes, “God is dead. And I have killed him.”  

Maya: RELAY SOUL || Magian: 0

“Now for New York City’s penalty game.” Maya says to herself. Magian gets off easy: as soon as his Life Points hit zero his duel disks fries him with a powerful shock, killing him before he even starts falling to the ground. Magian falls into blackness and all of downtown follows him. Every electric instrument shuts down: every light winks out, every phone breaks, every police robot slumps, every news drone crashes to the ground from the air, everyone is cast into darkness.

There is absolute silence for a moment. Then someone panics, shrieking, “We’re all gonna die!” Protesters and police riot in the chaos, clashing with each other once more. But the police, having lost their guard robots, are severely outnumbered. The protesters bulldoze the cops and raise every street downtown in a blind fury. Thus, we witness the world’s darkest night so far.

Yugioh Endgame: Duel 3 – Ring of Ire

The businessmen part from the meeting with their respective Millennium Items to settle on different major cities around the globe. Secmeton lands ship on Los Angeles, taking America’s west coast. Anubisius becomes king of the beasts in Riyadh, the capital of Saudi Arabia. Atenza mounts Brasilia as his lookout. Martis makes the Washington D.C. area his dune and Kepura fortifies his position in New York City. Kaiba stays in Domino City in Japan. Yifan makes Beijing her red mansion.

Three years pass. The businessmen establish Momentum generators in their respective areas, providing them with near unlimited energy by using spooky magic. They effectively become the high mages, apostles of the modern world’s major religions. Technology booms as a legion of new computers and machines arise to build ever bigger skyscrapers and other megastructures, making the grand cities even grander. The American military creates an army of machine-controlled satellites each with an arsenal of thermonuclear detonators.

History repeats herself and, as usual, the military hands over the new technology to private investors like Kaiba to use it for their own ends. Then the investors take all the credit to promote the free market. In Kaiba’s case, he erects new space stations and uses his dueling technology to create a Momentum Internet Network. Now players can duel each other in virtual battlefields even if they are half the globe away from each other. With it, the Internet evolves and enmeshes humans together in an ever tighter web.

But everything has a price. In this case it is the cost of human lives for the benefit of humanity, a twist of fate Maya and Yifan find amusing. Millions of people leave the great cities as machines take over their jobs and the rent becomes too d@mn high, making the rich even richer and the big cities even harder to live in. You get a hole; between the mages and their priestly attendants on one side and people too poor to even move out on the other, there is a barren street.

It is on one of those streets, on the 21st of December, 2012 that protestors revive the city with a great demonstration against the powers that be. The once empty street now crawls with life: the old hippies who are honored veterans from the great protests against Vietnam in the 60s, affluent college kids with badly dyed hair dropping in to fight for a cause, anarchist punks with Molotov cocktails, the remaining minimum wage workers barely getting by (like yours truly), and so many people who lost their jobs and futures. It really is a great mass of humanity, with so much energy, life, and color despite all their hardships you will think it a parade.

Before long, however, a great grey cloud rains on the parade in the form of a mass of guard robots and the few dozen armored policemen acting as their lieutenants. At first protesters and police lock each other in a stalemate of threats and shouting, a mighty river crashing onto a massive boulder. The dynamite is all there but someone has to light it up, and it just so happens Jolene and Sofia rafted themselves in the middle of the ocean of protestors.      

Jolene pelts a cop with eggs with the vegan protestors. “Unbelievable.” Sofia objects. “Do you have any idea how expensive eggs are?” 

“They’re organic. No pesticides.” Jolene says with a wink.

This only makes Sofia double in exasperation. “That’s even worse! Here!” She lights up a Molotov cocktail and bombes it on the armored policeman, lighting the man ablaze. “Much cheaper!”

“It’s the season of lights.” Jolene jokes. “Christmas is coming soon.” But she soon changes from jesting to worrying as the protest catches fire. The anarchists, emboldened, join the fray, eager to make some Christmas lights of their own. The police chief directs the counterattack; the cops whip out their big guns, pummeling through the protestors with tear gas, rubber bullets, and nightsticks.

The chief himself assaults Jolene and Sofia with his weapons, inflicting black and red bruises on the two women, while his underlings use their doggish machines to arrest some hippies and college kids. A wrathful Sofia throws a punch though she is but on her knees, forgetting to call upon the dark powers Maya taught her. The chief easily catches her wrist and twists it, then finishes the job by spraying mace on her eyes and even giving it to Jolene since he is so generous.

“You idiot, Sofia! Why!?” Jolene weeps in agony, blinded. Sofia wishes she can tell her but knows she must her secrets with her to the grave. And how can Jolene or anyone else understand? The chief succeeds in subduing the two insolent little girls but it is not enough. 

He lifts his nightstick high, ready to dish out more punishment, when a great wall of fire erupts between the police and protestors. The blazing fire melts all the snow in its path and turns night into day, blasting the chief and the two women in opposite directions. All three quickly roll on the ground, soaking themselves on the newly made slush on the ground. The flames singe Jolene and Sofia, leaving them in terrible pain, while the chief is protected by his armor, spared from almost all burns.

“What the -” The police see a dark woman step out of the flames, unharmed. He gives an order; the police and the guard robots instantly fire every rubber bullet they have at her from their automatic guns. The woman easily calls upon a gust of flying black flames to surround her in a shield, which vaporizes the bullets before they can reach her. 

The chief gives himself time to scan her appearance, making a profile of her in his head: a woman slightly taller than average, long black curly hair, dark brown eyes, brown skin; wearing black jeans, a black and red shirt, black shoes, and a long black trench coat. This tigerish woman, with her bestial mane and fiery eyes, reminds him of someone famous.

Then he gets it. “Maya!? The duel monsters world champion!?” He gasps in complete shock.

Maya throws her hands up in the air, her expression in a limbo between someone pretending not to know any better and someone throwing a party. “Technically, the game is called Yugioh these days but duel monsters doesn’t sound as dorky I guess. And you are…? Hmm, do porkers even have names or do they just have numbers like evil minions do?”

The chief curtly answers her, “Magian Bellatore. I run the NYPD and I will make sure you pay for hurting my officers and obstructing the law!”

“Says the big strong man about to bludgeon two armless people on the ground. Do you beat your wife after a long hard day at work too?” She points to a scrawny little anarchist who clumsily holds a Molotov cocktail he is too scared to actually use and barks an order, “You, Antifa supersoldier! Take the two women in the large puddle to safety!” And the little anarchist scurries away, taking Jolene and Sofia with him, though not without a lot of help from comrades.

With that task done, she confronts the police chief once more. “Magian Bellatore. Mage Soldier. You really are a mook though, I admit, an elite one. – I forgot my manners. My full name is Marina Bozuslovskaya but I’ll go by Maya so the smooth-brained WASPs won’t get confused.

“I remember you, believe it or not. Jolene and I used to do canvassing in high school. You patrolled the street we were at. Jolene would deal weed right under your nose – one quick handshake and the deed was done – but you kept looking at me like I was up to no good.”

“Enough!” Bellows Magian. “What do you want, terrorist!”

Maya calmly answers, “What every main character in this franchise wants, a good duel. If I win, you call off the porkers and leave the protestors alone. If you win, you can knock yourself out. Pepper spray the college kids, beat up the Antifa losers, grope some hipster girls while you’re at it. Your big sweaty palms can’t always hold a gun, now can it.”

“I don’t believe you.” Magain says, all too suspicious of this degenerate rascal. “What do you really want.”

“Just to play a game with a worthy opponent, silly.” Maya protests. “What you see is what you get. One game and I’m out of here, I promise. It’s not like you can challenge me with guns as I’ll easily turn your domestic army into bacon.”

Magian of course knows that what you see is never what you get but Maya has a point. Dueling is his only way out. He beckons an officer to fetch his deck and duel disk, as he is fond of dueling and even something of a champion himself, which the officer can do since the ring of fire Maya conjured died out by this point. They ready their duel disks, starting the game.

Maya: 8000 || Magian: 8000

MAYA’S TURN: “I Normal Summon Gambitpawn Archfiend and use its effect: I send a monster from my hand to the Graveyard to Special Summon Terrorking Archfiend from my Deck!” Two Archfiends, members of a famous class of powerful demons, appear. They vaguely resemble a pawn and a king in chess, with muscles and bones revealed as they lack skin. “And Archfiend Heiress kicks off since I just pitched her. I add an Archfiend card to my hand.

“Then, I activate Card of Safe Return. I get to draw a card whenever I resurrect one of my monsters. I’ll set two cards face down and end my turn.”

MAGIAN’S TURN: He cooks a plain in his head, then gloats, “Do you know how the rules work these days, my dear?”

Maya chuckles, and replies, “Of course. There currently exist five kinds of Extra Deck monsters: Fusion, Synchro, Xyz, Pendulum, and Link. You need to use Link monsters to summon more Extra Deck monsters. But there is another rule. You can summon monsters from your Extra Deck only once per turn.”              

Magian nods. “Correct. Often that means only one monster but there are exceptions, letting you summon many monsters from your Extra Deck within a single ‘action’. I can use Pendulum Scales to bring out many Pendulum Monsters. I can also do this…

“I activate Obedience Schooled to Special Summon 3 Beast monsters from my Deck.” And just like that three weak beasts: Elephun, Gallis the Star Beast, and The Wicked Worm Beast come into play. “Next, I activate Double Fusion! I pay 1000 Life Points to Fusion Summon twice. I fuse Elephun and Gallis to make Biparte Unicorn, then use it with my Worm Beast to Fusion Summon Triparte Unicorn!” (Magian LP 8000 → 7000)

Maya studies the unicorn, which is part horse, part lion, and part bird, made of three distinct colors, plotting her next move.

Magian orders, “Triparte Unicorn, tri-beam that ugly Terrorking!” And his monster launches its attack. Terrorking Archfiend does not take the hit; instead, his servant blocks the attack and perishes from the blow. “WHAT!?”

“I can get Gambitpawn to be destroyed instead of Terrorking.” Maya explains the dumbfounded police chief. “You won’t be turning triangles into squares this time.” (Maya LP 8000 → 7200)

“Maybe, but you cannot escape the law, not in games and not in real life. Triparte Unicorn lets me banish 3 Beast monsters from my Graveyard. Now, since I inflicted 800 damage, you must mill 8 cards.” Magian orders.

“Whatever.” Maya sighs, tossing her 8 cards to the Graveyard. “Putting Fiend or Zombie monsters in the Graveyard is a bad idea. They become ghosts with grudges. Here are two: Archfiend Heiress lets me add another Archfiend card to my hand while Archfiend of Gilfer weakens your magical pony.”

Magian can only watch as huge gargoyle rises from the grave to clasp unto his monster, weakening it. (Triparte Unicorn ATK 2800 → 2300) “The duel is far from over, terrorist. I set two cards facedown.”

And just before he ends his turn Maya activates her Trap Card. “I use Call of the Archfiend to discard a weak Fiend monster to Special Summon a stronger one from my Graveyard: Archfiend Emperor, the First Lord of Horror!” A giant devil in armor, easily topping twelve feet in height, rises from the shadows of the Graveyard below, and Maya draws an extra card. “Get ready! I’m just warming up and you’re about to see a mook horror show!”

Yugioh Endgame: Duel 2 – Gathering the Artifacts

Duel 2 – Gathering the Artifacts

“Any idiot can create melodrama; it’s using humor with tragedy that takes real skill.” Yifan nears the end of her conversation with Pegasus while finishing her dessert, an odd Mexican tortilla with chicken and chocolate in it. “Your comic mask makes you a layered and bittersweet character, not unlike chocolate mole enchiladas. There’s a certain richness in taste. Imagine having two eyes again and regaining depth perception, something like that but for your tongue.”   

Pegasus J. Crawford finds Yifan, with her sly backhanded flattery, most amusing. The CEO of Industrial Illusions and creator of the Yugioh card game finishes his meal in turn and remarks, “Why thank you! Though I prefer chocolate truffle tarts myself. I’m impressed with how you’re solving the new Millennium Puzzle so quickly – and by the way you’re frilly blue snakeskin dress is just gorgeous!”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Yifan returns the compliment. “I prefer wearing white but deep blue is my favorite color. It does contrast nicely with your iconic red vest and long pale hair. Sometimes I find it hard to believe a man as astute in fashion as you are ever had a wife.”   

With luncheon finished, Seto Kaiba, severe as always and donning an impeccable white business suit, arrives to commence the business meeting. It is in Kaiba’s character to only suffer eating alone. “I’m afraid the old fuddy-duddy is about to end our fun with a tamakeri.” Pegasus says as he sadly kisses Yifan’s hand. “Good speaking to you.”

Kaiba snowballs the names and titles of some of the world’s most powerful people into a roll call, barking out their names in his usual no-nonsense attitude:
“Aleksandar Kepura, United States Secretary of Defense
Marion Martis, Chairman of Lockheed Martin
Ricardo Atenza, Archbishop of Sao Paulo
‘Anubisius’ Ahmed, CEO of Corral Petroleum Holdings
John Secmeton Walton, Administrator of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration
Pegasus J. Crawford, CEO of Industrial Illusions
Xiao Yifan, Director of the International Bank for Reconstruction and Development”

Kaiba then introduces a new person to the congregation, Akutsu, the lead scientist in KaibaCorp’s Technology Research Department. It is about time as everyone by now became very bored with the roll call.

“Who wants to learn SCIENCE?” Akutsu, a tall gangly man with eccentric manners, begins the lecture with a bang, but everyone groans. He tethers a metal ball at the end of a rope and sets the pendulum into motion. “When the ball is up GRAVITY pulls it down and when the ball is down MOMENTUM pushes it back up. The reason the pendulum stops is because motion dissipates energy by converting kinetic energy to thermal energy while friction -“ The metal ball hits him hard, making him fall over, feet dangling in the air.

“Where are all the goofy cartoon sounds coming from?” Pegasus wonders out loud. “Even I find it trite.”

Akutsu gets back to his feet and produces a toy model of Robert Fludd’s water screw, then sets it to work. “In theory this should be a perpetual motion machine. WATER from a TANK turns a WHEEL, which turns a SCREW that brings water back to the tank, which turns the wheel again.” But sooner or later the machines stops as predicted, and Akutsu makes a sad trombone noise. “Energy dissipates through MOTION and FRICTION. The water is a source of energy that remains at a constant amount, so it cannot replace all the energy lost.”

“Get to the point.” Anubisius growls. “This is not a science show for children.”

Akutsu ignores him. “As long as a machine loses energy you need to replenish it with an outside source to make up for all the lost energy. But what if you can use QUANTUM MECHANICS to REDUCE FRICTION almost to zero to make a machine run almost completely on its own MOMENTUM?” And with a dramatic gesture he reveals a model of his invention, a small transparent cylinder with several rings glowing in a rainbow of lights revolving at breakneck speed.

“And people told me why try making a perpetual motion machine? Why bother? I’ll tell you what – oh yeah, because it’s cool! My invention, which I call MOOOOMENTUUUUM,” He now twirls a hula hoop. “Not only has near perfect efficiency, it even causes photons to TRAVEL BACK IN TIME and give additional energy FROM THE PAST! BOOM! SCIENCE!” He trips over his hoola hoop, falling flat on his face as usual.

Yifan leans over to look down on the silly man, admonishing him, “In other words it’s not really a perpetual motion machine, you carnival barker, just a very, very efficient one. It is the stuff utopian pipe dreams are made out of.”

Akutsu jumps right back up, lively as ever. As Kaiba is fond of saying, it is impossible to dampen the enthusiasm of an idiot. “With MOOOOMENTUUUUM the world will have a near limitless power source. Technology and urban development will develop rapidly and, who knows, we may one day travel to space and meet COOL ALIENS. But only a certain kind of energy can power my invention.”

Now Kaiba steps in for the climax, revealing seven golden talismans from Ancient Egypt. “Momentum can only use the Millennium Items as a power source. I even used Yifan’s help in reforging the Millennium Puzzle and Millennium Ring for this purpose. This is the nature of our deal.” He gestures to everyone in the room. “You funded my momentum project. Now you each get a Millennium Item and a momentum generator.” He hands everyone except Pegasus and Yifan a Millennium Item, trying not to touch the cretins he has to compromise with.

Secmeton, a kindly man with a full salt-and-pepper beard and blue uniform, looking like a kind of marine admiral, receives the Millennium Necklace. Anubisius, tall, muscular, imposing, receives the Millennium Key. Atenza, the thin and stringy Archbishop, is bequeathed the Millennium Ring. Martis, his suit drab as can be and his face unreadable, accepts the Millennium Scales. Kepura, obese and tall, with large fish lips and small squinting eyes as his most prominent features, takes the Millennium Eye for himself.

Kaiba lays claim to the Millennium Rod while Yifan clicks in the final piece of the Millennium Puzzle, completing it. When Pegasus, astonished, asks her how she managed to finish the puzzle in only a few months, she replies, “I’m not a teenage boy. And I’m sure Kaiba has a supercomputer that could assemble it in mere hours anyway.”

Yet Akutsu is not finished with his demonstration. “Wait! There is catch!” He reminds his audience. “MOOOOMENTUUUUM must always be kept running. It can never stop or change direction.” He blows up a large balloon. “IMAGINE my invention is this BALLOON and all the energy it generates is the AIR in the balloon. Now with lots of air the balloon is useful and you can do all sorts of COOL THINGS with it.” He twists the balloon into a poodle. “But if you suddenly release all the air,” He pops the balloon. “BOOOOOOOOM!” And he finishes his lecture by making a lot of silly exploding noises.        

“Enough!” Kaiba quickly shews the eccentric man off the premises. Already the businessmen in the conference begin to argue with each other.

Anubisius even threatens to walk out, feeling threatened himself of what Momentum would do to his oil business. “If you have any idea how often I buttplugged alternative energy research, you would call me Bugger in Cheif!” He bellows. “I funded your research, Mr. Kaiba, thinking I would be handsomely rewarded! But to be made master of Momentum, which wipes out generations of my family’s business – “

Secmeton gently puts his large warm hands over the other man’s shoulders, “No need to get your balls tied up. With Momentum and the Millennium Key, you will, in effect, control Saudi Arabia and God knows what else. Imagine how many power mongers like old Heishin would love to dominate the region but were not fit enough to do so. Nature has rewarded you the power you are rightfully fit to use. Your family, by forming an oil business, simply took advantage of the most efficient energy source at the time. You would be a fool not to step up your game and advance your family’s name.”

Anubisius listens to reason and sits back down. Yet other butts in the room remain irritated as their owners keep squirming on their chairs, jousting with their prides on the line. Atenza, inflated with self-importance, wants religious freedom abolished in Brazil while Martis, pragmatic as ever, points out how ludicrous the idea is. “The facade of liberal democracy must always be maintained.” He explains patiently.

“Kind of like filming a movie.” Yifan observes, speaking to Pegasus and you, the audience. “You must go to great lengths to keep the audience’s suspension of disbelief. In a play, the audience more easily, well, plays along.”

Pegasus agrees, lamenting, “In the past, it was much easier for kings and governors to keep their people in line. They didn’t have to lie as much. Nowadays, everyone thinks he is a free man, an enlightened consumer, living in a transparent society, protected by human rights. Keeping up such a charade can get tiring sometimes. Popcorn, Yifan?”

Yifan gladly takes the snack. “Yes, the idea of human rights. It is a dogma that cannot be questioned, not now at least. Otherwise it will bark at you loudly since it lives in a doghouse owned by a rich banker who keeps the seven trains running on time but the conductors are artifacts with rickets so sometimes they can’t go anywhere and a crocodile will eat them as it’s crocodiles all the way down and crocodiles make the world go round.”

Pegasus gives Yifan a worried smile. Meanwhile, Kepura and Kaiba escalate their debate. Kepura demands exclusive access to KaibaCorp’s research for the United States Army while Kaiba rebukes the idea. “I will not let my research become a weapon of war.” Kaiba spits venom at Kepura’s face. “Leave the United States out of it. I am not the man my stepfather was.”

Amused, Kepura can’t help himself but laugh, revealing his large pearly white teeth. “But you are the man your stepfather was. Never in any empire, the United States or otherwise, can you separate capital from military. The U.S. Department of Defense funded what would later be the Internet. Had Gozaburo Kaiba not developed weapons you would have no template to turn KaibaCorp into a gaming empire, now would you?”

“That does not matter!” Kaiba spits back. “It goes beyond our contract! You have no right!”  

“So I don’t.” Kepura admits in a glib manner, “But, as you most likely know, business goes beyond the contract. Once Momentum is up and running around the world – think! – would not the Japanese government become curious and get their hands on it? And once that happens, would not every major power in the world demand to have Momentum as a right?

“Unlike you, Gozaburo knew he was not king, not even of of his little corner of the world. He, like we all, are simply part of a big hive. He knew that if he refused to sell weapons to the United States he would miss the biggest deal he could. Other weapons manufacturers would get the deal, meaning bigger profits, meaning KaibaCorp would run out of business.”

Kaiba snaps, “Don’t need to explain basic business to me, you smug cretin! I gave you enough!”

“True.” Kepura admits again. “But you don’t seem to understand the ‘philosophy’ behind it all. We’re all prey to bigger impersonal forces beyond our control but here you are, like a small child, thinking you can single-handedly shape the future. Gozaburo knew that if he went against the forces of nature he would end up on knees, bent over, ready to receive a royal pounding from his rivals. Cross me enough times and I will, inevitably, force you on your knees, making you give to me what daddy couldn’t. Think of this meeting as a hazing ritual. Welcome to the wider world of geopolitics. You’re playing with the big boys. – Ooh! That makes a catchy song!”

Kaiba wishes he could deck Kepura in the face with his steel briefcase but knows it would be a suicidal to do so. Yes, Kaiba technically wins the argument and Kepura has no right to access KaibaCorp’s research but he will lose exclusive control of Momentum. There is nothing he can do about it.

It begs the question why Kaiba even bothers to waste his time with these jokers. He does so because he has a vision. Ever since he last faced Yugi, he worked tirelessly to upgrade a cloud server that could connect every duelist around the world. As of now he only had clumsy devices that linked up duelists to a virtual online world. But Momentum can change all that. It can bring the virtual online world here. Imagine how dueling would evolve with such a system! And he can use his profits to build more Kaibaland amusement parks for orphaned children, who always hold a soft spot in his heart as he and his younger brother were once orphans themselves.    

There is another issue on the table, pun intended. About a decade ago, Kaiba managed to travel across time and space into the afterlife to duel Atem, the spirit who possessed Yugi and was his true rival, one last time. The result was a draw. Kaiba can live with that, maybe. But now, with Momentum, he can explore all the dimensions the universe has to offer. The possibilities for humanity are endless! And it is for those possibilities that Kaiba willingly gambles not just his company but the future of humanity itself.    

As for the mundane present, Kaiba is done. He turns around to leave with a dramatic flair. “Let’s go, Mokuba!” He commands, only to realize his younger brother isn’t there. Force of habit.

Yugioh Endgame: Duel 1 – Setting the Stage

Duel 1 – Setting the Stage

“I sing of children’s card games, the dire fates that we humans
must duly face, and the nerds who think they’re warrior poets,
these so-called ‘duelists’, as they try to control the world’s future.
I’ve learned all kinds of unwisdoms, unlearned many secrets,
bringing knowledge from farther back than the life of our species,
partly from Yifan, partly from my time on this brown earth.
My parents made and have raised me as two-thirds fiery venom
and one-third loathing while, of course, not knowing what they were doing.
Can the mind of a small sad meme queen, ever so human
– Yifan, I mean – have a scheme so divine it out-trumps all the old gods?
Sour old notes aside, I bring strength, joyous and outrageous.
In both One Player Campaign and PvP Duel Arena
I will send every god to a rainbow of colorful deaths.”

Maya recites these lines she invented in good fun, or so she thinks, until Sofia claps her hands from the corner of the stage. Sofia praises Maya two ways at once, one sarcastic and the other genuine, and Maya reads both messages through Sofia’s body language. The older woman invites the younger to join her on center stage and the younger woman obliges.    

There Maya and Sofia stand, alone together, in the abandoned Fabian Theatre in Peterson, New Jersey with ghosts and the unborn for an audience. “The Fabian,” Maya Mis-Exposition explains to the audience. “Was a vaudeville theatre that later also did film screening in the early days of cinema.” Hence, she points to the old big screen behind her. “What did you think of my lines, Sofia?”

“It was kind of pretentious and douchey.” Sofia admits. “But I like all the little parodies you threw in it like it was a kind of parody fruit salad… all while making a mockery of dactylic hexameter, one of the most ancient and venerable poetic forms… That’s horrible! That’s like ruining a classic meal like Margherita Pizza by putting pineapple – no, worse, M&Ms or golden crust on it! – Wait, how does golden crust debase pizza? Doesn’t it make it rarer by making it ridiculously expensive? Ah! I’m losing track of my food metaphors! Why do you do this to me, Maya?”

“Food similes.” Maya corrects her student as she opens a laptop and connects it to a small projector. “First lesson: the sublime and silly are two sides of the same coin. This is the bread and butter of Yugioh. Anyway, we shall do nothing less than commence a revival festival for The Fabian Theatre, an audience for two. The first film of the programme? Riding The Golden Elevator, never before seen footage of the Pentagon getting on top of KaibaCorp at one of those backdoor corporate meatings we hear so much about.”

“Which would not be possible without me.” Sofia reminds her tutor, pointing at herself. “Jolene and I hacked the building’s cameras. Thanks to us, you’ll know everything KaibaCorp, the Pentagon, and other multibillion dollar institutions will be planning for the next several years, giving you the chance to plan your next move. You know, for your so-called endgame.”

Maya then points at you – yes, you! – the audience. “Pay attention. Two ‘seasons’ ago I had a vision, while I was buried under stones deep in an Egyptian tomb, that let me break the fourth wall. We are all simulations from a person’s programming or projections of information from the inside of a black hole often called a universe. Yet those programmers and black holes are themselves simulations from something else, and it goes on in a cycle forever and forever.

“For example, every Yugioh universe, or dimension, that has ever existed forms a multiverse created by a programme called the Numeron Code, which was itself created by a basement-dwelling brony incel nerd called Darius ‘Orochi’ O’Reilly who lives with your mother. Your universe, in turn, is a projection from inside the event horizon of a black hole, which is itself a program created by Xenu, and so on.      

“There exists four Yugioh dimensions that concern us the most. The first is the ‘manga dimension’, which features Dark Side of Dimensions, and continues with the ‘GX manga’, ‘5Ds manga’, and so on. There is an ‘anime dimension’ that does not have Dark Side of Dimensions, instead going straight to ‘GX anime’, which then splits into at least four separate dimensions because some chud named Zark gets real salty after losing to a girl.

“Our realm is the ‘manganime dimension’, which does feature Dark Side of Dimensions, and carries on to the present moment. The last dimension is the ‘dark dimension’ where Bakura, Zorc, Cody Martin, and a demon-possessed teddy bear succeed in destroying the world by singing Disney songs, replacing it with a realm of darkness.”

“You made up the Orochi and teddy bear stuff, didn’t you?” Sofia demands, incredulous.

Maya laughs ruefully before saying, “I’m afraid not. I saw it all in my vision, or stress-induced hallucination. Whatever you want to call it.”

With the fun and games over, Maya takes the time to confess to Sofia something very important. “Whether or not we know exactly what Kaiba, Yifan, or anyone else are planning at the moment, I know all the major events that will most likely happen. I don’t need a Millennium Item to see the future. I just see what is necessary for us, what we must do, the trials we must face if we are to conquer any of the demons in our way.” Sofia asks what is in the future and Maya tells her everything, leaving an awkward silence.

Maya finishes setting up the projector and dusting two front row seats. She beacons Sofia to sit by her and, when Sofia does, gives her a warm kiss on the cheek. “The curtains roll back. The show begins. Everything that happens from now on is for you.”