Chomsky Critiques the News Part 2: America Bombs Laos


While traveling with Chomsky, I stop by page 213 in his book Who Rules the World , where Chomsky critiques another article from the New York Times, “One Woman’s Mission to Free Laos of Millions of Unexploded Bombs” from journalist Thomas Fuller. Chomsky seems to not take issue with the article as a whole, where Fuller describes the efforts of Ms. Channapha, the Laos born woman who founded the activist group Legacies of War and lobbied Congress to raise $12 million so she could remove the dormant cluster bombs America had dropped on Laos from 1964-1973 during the Vietnam War.

Cluster bombs are some of the deadliest weapons of modern war. Not only did we build the bombs well to destroy a wide range of land, we also built the bombs badly so most of them would not even explode at the right time. What we get, or rather what the Laos people get, is a war unending, where children of 8 years still get blown to bits by striking a dormant bomb while farming or playing in the fields. Whether we designed cluster bombs to lay dormant for decades out of cruelty or botched them to not explode out of incompetence is beside the point. We protract the Vietnam War to this day.

Ms. Channapha got involved with Laos when she saw drawings of the Laos bombings, created by the refugees who witnessed the mass slaughter firsthand. The activist Fred Branfman later collected the drawings, and used them to disclose the Laos bombings, then secret, to the American people to oppose the Vietnam War. When I read the Fuller article, I get the “activist hero story” vibe you see in a lot of news stories; a spunky underdog dares to “make a difference” in the world against huge odds, with only a shoebox operation to work from, armed only with charm, conviction, and persistence, waking us up to the Laos tragedies [1].

Next, we will begin a “conversation” about war and foreign policy, things not even the rulers of the world fully understand and do little but make a few token gestures. Meanwhile, we bomb children in Iran using drones. Obama paid Laos a visit, shed a few tears, spent a few pennies to clear out the bombs and, his ablution complete, returned to the Oval Office to continue spending half the federal budget on the army [2]. Rinse. Lather. Repeat. Business as usual.

The Vietnam War, the theater of war behind the bombings on Las, was Machiavellian politics as usual. A boilerplate history to jog our memories: Communist militants formed the People’s Army of Vietnam in 1944, then drove away the French and Japanese colonists occupying Vietnam at the time in 1949. Around the same time, the anticommunists formed a rival faction. Thus Vietnam split in two, a communist North Vietnam and a republic South Vietnam. America and the Soviet Union soon got involved with the two Vietnams, hoping to use them as pawns in their political game. The Soviet Union sided with North Vietnam, which wanted to reunite Vietnam as a communist country, and America sided with South Vietnam, which wanted to stop the spread of communism in Southeast Asia.

Laos faced a similar struggle as Vietnam, with the communist Pathet Lao army battling the Royal Lao Army for control of the country. North Vietnam soon took advantage of the Ho Chi Minh Trail in Laos, using it to send supplies to the communist troops deep in South Vietnam. America got wind of the communists’ strategy and started bombing the Ho Chi Minh Trail in 1964 to snuff out the communists, hitting the Plain of Jars in the crossfire, killing the hundreds of thousands of Laos farmers who lived there.

None of this news or history disturbs Chomsky too much, since he knows more than anyone else how we Americans do foreign policy, but one line from Fuller’s article did annoy him. Fuller wrote, “ The targets were North Vietnamese troops — especially along the Ho Chi Minh Trail, a large part of which passed through Laos — as well as North Vietnam’s Laotian Communist allies.” Fuller is correct in fact, as American bombers did nail a few communists here and there, but he covers the greater truth, something more sinister.

Chomsky quotes Branfman from Voices From the Plain of Jars [3], “One of the most shattering revelations about the bombing was discovering why it had so vastly increased in 1969, as described by the refugees. I learned that after President Johnson had declared a bombing halt over North Vietnam in November 1968, he had simply diverted the plains into Northern Laos. There was no military reason for doing so. It was simply because, as US Deputy Chief of Mission Monteagle Stearns testified to the US Committee on Foreign Relations in 1969, ‘Well, we had all those planes sitting around and couldn’t just stay there with nothing to do. [4]’”

I was shocked when I first read the quote, and I searched for all the sources I could to verify it, and indeed I have four sources: Chomsky in Who Rules the World , Branfman in Voices From the Plain of Jars , Kurlantzick in A Great Place to Have a War [5], and Branfman again from the Zinn Education Project [6]. Sadly, I could not find any direct source online, as I would have liked to read the entire transcript of the Committee of 1969, but while I did not dig up gold I did unearth other precious jewels. I would love to cover myself with a blanket, sip a hot chocolate, and flip over the Pentagon Papers one evening [7]. William Beecher, in his 1969 article for the New York Times, writes that President Nixon would not allow his ground commanders to deploy infantry in Laos and Cambodia following the air raids, which began in secret in 1964 until Branfman exposed the them in 1969, making this article a good cross reference to Branfman [8].

I would like to make several comments on Branfman’s quote. Fuller’s error lies not in lying but omitting the truth. While America did at first bomb Laos to attack the Pathet Lao and the North Vietnam communist armies, she ramped up the bombing on Laos after it made a truce with North Vietnam in 1968. People in New York love to complain about the propagandists at Fox News but less often about the propagandists of the New York Times, probably because the staff at Fox News is so blundering. A competent propagandist does not use lies but gaps in our knowledge and truths that blur our convictions, then works from there to fill in the blanks, creating an opinion for his followers.

Obama worked good propaganda when he visited Laos in 2016. He said to the world, in effect, “We Americans are deeply sorry for the slaughter and mass destruction we caused to the Laos people. We acted from misguided beliefs and ignorance; we knew not what we did. We learned our lesson and will never savage another people with such pointless cruelty again – Honest! Pinky swear!” The Laos people, of course, do not buy it, neither do the Vietnamese people, nor the Iranian people, nor the Serbian people, nor the American natives. This trick is getting old.

Our cruelty against the Laos is less from malice and more from ignorance. Lyndon Johnson and Monteagle Stearns did not seek to harm any farmers when they decided to bomb Laos more intensely; they simply did not care. We see this theme again and again in American history, when only rich white property owners count as people while everyone else simply do not matter, but I will leave that specific truth aside. Howard Zinn in A People’s History of the United States and Chomsky in Who Rules the World cover that history, past and present respectively, far better than I ever could.

Neither can you single out America as the only tyrant in the world and, if you do, you are a naïve reader. America is merely an empire and a typical one at that, like China today, like the British Empire not so long ago, like the Aztec Empire a few centuries ago, like the Roman Empire of revered antiquity, like the Egyptian Empire long before that. America, like all empires, is a business first and foremost; the market must constantly expand, we must seize more and more wealth from the earth and the spoils of other nations to meet the bottom line. Otherwise, civilization will collapse. How then, dear reader, will you get a new iPhone at the Apple Store or cheap coffee at the local deli or diner? Our enormous wealth comes with a price, and people we never see, like the Laos farmers in the Plain of Jars, pay that price.

We average Joes aid the Empire all the time, either passively consuming its products or actively managing the Empire’s business machine, which politics and the military naturally fall under. We do so not because we are wicked but because we need to eat, as the serpent must eat newborn chicks to avoid starving.

Of course, we cannot speak of our slavish needs so rudely. The idiot obeys God, carrying the white man’s burden on his shoulders, bringing “civilization” to the savages while abroad, and defending the Crown justified by Divine Right while home. The other idiot believes we can do away with all that nasty business if only we elect the right presidents, restrict the greedy businessman with the right laws, enforce more human rights for the poor, women, and nonwhites with more bureaucracy, and have more “conversations”. The cynic waifs the matter away with her hand; she knows all cruelty but thinks our government is the least bad thing out there – then she takes Prozac to dull her depression.

But what of the Laos people themselves? If I do not speak of them, I treat them as nonpersons, which justifies our American attitude of “the whole world is about me”. To start crudely, from the raw data of the Laos bombings: America dumped over 270 million cluster bombs from 1964-1973, 80 million of cluster bombs did not detonate, only 1% of dormant bombs have been destroyed to this day, America spent $13.3 million a day bombing Laos while it spent only $4.9 million dollars a year to clean up the mess [9].

As I said before, we protract the Vietnam War to this day. On the 21 st of March of 2017, two children named Seng Lee and Lab Lee found a metal ball when walking home from school, unaware it was a dormant bomb. When Lab dropped the ball it exploded, killing her instantly and horribly injuring the twelve people around her at the time. The last people to perish from the Laos bombings died just last year; on the 5 th of August of 2017, two farmers named Phone and Abo tried dismantling a dormant bomb to harvest its metal, but the bomb exploded, killing both men instantly [10].

Branfman first saw the Laos people in 1969, five years after President Johnson began bombing the country, and formed deep relations with them. He became very close to the village elder, Paw Thou Douang, who was also the leader of the village Buddhist congregation, a medic, farmer, and local spokesman for the Pathet Lao during the Vietnam War. He also interviewed the many Laos villagers he befriended during his stay, which allows us the rare gift of hearing a people tell their story in their own words, without the need of a privileged middleman such as me.

A nurse, 26 years old at the time of the bombings, described the lives of the Laos farmers: “ Around that village of mine were green and beautiful mountains, and the land and the fields my neighbors had sweated over and labored on since the time of my ancestors. My neighbors were all farm­ers, honest and hardworking. Our happiness was full and over­flowing because we were content with our lives, even though we lived in the wilderness.”

A farmer of 39 years describes life before the bombings: “ Travel between villages was easy because there were so many all close together. Boys and girls playing the flute and enjoying themselves in the village was easy. When it came time to work the fields, we went to work together. We shared the labor in a fulfilling way for us young people. When the field work was finished, we joined in the yearly festivities with the sounds of singing, dancing and laugh­ter.”

Other Laos villagers told Branfman horror stories of the American bombings. One refugee said: “ There wasn’t a night when we thought we’d live until morning, never a morning we thought we’d sur­vive until night. Did our children cry? Oh, yes, and we did also. I just stayed in my cave. I didn’t see the sunlight for two years. What did I think about? Oh, I used to repeat, ‘Please don’t let the planes come, please don’t let the planes come, please don’t let the planes come.’ … The past has pelted away. Our lives have passed like a dream. There is nothing which can make up for the sorrow.”

The same nurse of 26 years later wrote: “We who were young took our sweat and our strength, which should have been spent raising food in the rice fields and forests to sustain our lives, and squandered it digging holes to protect ourselves. For many days and nights, having enough food to survive on became a gigantic problem, which pressed upon our hearts. The fields, paddy and seedbeds all became bomb craters. All that remained for our people were sad faces, and tired and weak hearts, disgusted with hating the war, which was like a large stone weighing upon us. We could not understand or imagine why something like this could happen.”

Meanwhile, the same farmer of 39 years could not understand why America would treat his people so horribly: “In all our years, we had known no more than the word “airplane.” We were all heavy hearted and mournful almost to the point of losing our minds. The other villagers and I got together to consider this thing. We hadn’t done anything, nor harmed anyone. We had raised our crops, celebrated the festivals and maintained our homes for many years. Why did the planes drop bombs on us, impoverishing us this way?”

A Laos woman of 30 years pleads: “Why then don’t we people love one another? Why don’t we live together in equality? Why don’t we build happiness and progress together? In reality, whatever happens, it is only the innocent who suffers. And as for the others, do they know all the unimaginable things happening in this war? Do they?” [11]

– A few critiques, if I may. I get suspicious when I read something that looks like an ideal account of poor people, like the Laos describing their village life before the bombings. It sounds too much like the noble savage cliché, which touches the heart of a simple person but makes the cynic untrusting. Chomsky, in his book, misattributes the quote of the refugee as a quote of the nurse, at least going by my source [12].

While the plea of the Laos woman of 30 years does sound like the liberal cliché “Why can’t we all live together?”, the woman does raise pressing questions. Why are we so hostile to people who look slightly different than us. Why do we swindle, plunder, and destroy other people to build empires, only to feel profoundly unhappy and helpless, when we could live a better life? Why do we have coercive and abusive relationships as the norm when we could have positive and genuine connections with each other, and live as complete human beings? These are deep questions; people wrote volumes addressing them, so I certainly cannot answer them in a small article. –

Branfman gives another striking personal account of Laos when Chomsky himself visited the country to report on the American bombings. Chomsky quickly befriended Paw Thou Douang and his family, as Branfman did, and had dinner together. Branfman describes Chomsky as listening in earnest, with his heart as well as his ears, while Paw Thou tells the story of the lives of the villagers before, during, and after the American bombings. Chomsky wept upon hearing the story.

This shocked me almost as much as it shocked Branfman himself, and Branfman goes into more detail. He describes how journalists from the New York Times would visit the Laos, interview them for a while, then leave with the scoop to write an article that, like the Fuller article I cited above, would mildly provoke the reader but little beyond that. I cannot help but contrast the warm and earnest Laos village elder with the sophisticated and cynical journalist from the New York Times. The two people reveal the stark differences between the rustic and civilized human, between the untamed and domestic animal. Chomsky, in an unconscious way, built a bridge we can cross to meet our past on the other side [13].

Again, I suspect Branfman makes an ideal of the Laos people, but I do think he gets the basic truth right, that the Laos villagers have something we do not because we somehow lost it.

In the next article, I will cover the Obama doctrine of 2017, including his foreign policy and how it relates to the Vietnam War. As I said before, the Vietnam War is protracted, but is itself the protracted Korean War war before it, which is a protracted war before it, which is a protracted war before it…

Works Cited:

1. Fuller, Thomas. “One Woman’s Mission to Free Laos From Millions of Unexploded Bombs.”The New York Times, 5 Apr. 2015, of unexploded-bombs.html.

2. Labott, Elise. “Obama Announces $90 Million to Clear Laos’ Unexploded Bombs.” CNN, Cable News Network, 6 Sept. 2016,

3. Chomsky, Noam. Who Rules the World? Penguin, 2017. pg. 215

4. Branfman, Fred. Voices From the Plain of Jars: Life Under an Air War. University of Wisconsin Press, 2013. pg. 36

5. Kurlantzick, Joshua. A Great Place to Have a War: America in Laos and the Birth of a Military CIA. Simon & Schuster, 2018. pgs. 178 – 180

6. “Voices from the Plain of Jars: Life Under an Air War.” Zinn Education Project,

7. “Pentagon Papers.” National Archives and Records Administration,

8. Beecher, William. “Raids in Cambodia by U.S. Unprotested.” 9 May 1969.

9. Legacies of War. “Secret War in Laos.” Legacies of War, 2018,

10. Vongvirath, Manininh. “Casualties & Survivors.” Legacies of War, 2018,

11. “Voices from the Plain of Jars: Life Under an Air War.” Zinn Education Project,

12. Chomsky, Noam. Who Rules the World? Penguin, 2017. pg. 214

13. Branfman, Fred. “When Chomsky Wept.” Salon,, 15 June 2012,

Women’s March NYC ’18


I went to the NYC Women’s March with two friends last Saturday. I was grateful the weather was merciful to us, and I enjoyed the company of several hundred protestors as we marched together for a broad common cause. I saw many people who seized my interest: a little girl protester with her own sign, a woman who cosplayed as lady justice, an old jaded woman who I loved meeting, and other people.

I have somewhat mixed feelings about the women’s march and politics in general. I think mass protests are badly needed in America in this day and age, and I am happy to be part of a larger movement, at least for two hours. But being part of a mass of people gives me discomfort because I fear the herd will sweep me away and mold me to be like everyone else.

You can’t avoid herds when dealing with politics of any kind, progressive activists and reactionary militants alike. You simply need people to clump together and believe in the same party line to make movements the same way moist air must clump together around a speck of dirt to form a drop of rain. I did not make that simile for no reason: ideologies are dirty by nature, crude at best and false at worst. And wherever there are sheeps, there are wolves hiding within the flock, pushing the same demands as we do for their occult goals.

Our dirty party line is this: Trump, his advisors, and followers are a brainwashed cult of lying, chauvinist scumbags while we are a righteous oppressed rebel group of average Joes returning democracy to the people. If we all wear pussy hats, chant the same lame lines, and lecture all the ignorant dolts on feminist theory the mean sexist pigs in power will listen to us and pass the right laws. Our beliefs regarding Trump and company are largely true but we will not bother to critique our politics, or our rivals’, with much care most of the time, and most of us have little interest in doing so. Most of us will content ourselves with marches and chants, feeling very proud of ourselves as great activists.

Of course everything I just said equally applies to all the Trump supporters too, and to the Bernie Bros., and to the alt right, and to the anarchists who want to crash the whole system down. I met a fringe of Trump supporters at Columbus Circle, of six people at most. The feminist protestors swarmed them like wasps to jump and scream at them like monkeys while the Trump supporters screeched and threw turds at them in return. The Trump protestors like to think themselves brave Spartans defending their sacred land from the barbaric Persian horde, but we share the same fantasy. It all depends on context: protestors in Texas appear the opposite as in New York, but the truth does not change.

Why did the protestors on the other side of the fence defend Trump? One old woman feared Muslim immigrants would enforce Sharia and destroy our way of life, insisting feminists and other liberals were hurting the women they swore to protect. An old man thought liberals in power privileged illegal immigrants who sneaked into the country over soldiers who gave life and limb to protect the country. An old Jewish man believed Trump would protect Israel from Palestinian terrorists. They may or may not be wrong but their concerns our valid; we should give them serious thought.

The other Trump allies were morons. A young gay man argued with my friend, insisting Trump did not persecute gays, but when my friend informed him Trump supported gay conversion therapy he could not respond. A black man condemned all the “fake news” the liberals made up to slander Trump and a whole conspiracy of lying mass media, then insisted we watch Fox News instead.

Conservative minorities are a fascinating breed of hypocrites: they complain how liberals always bring up their race or sex when arguing with them, but will freely bring up their race and sex to mislead anyone who opposes them. The young gay man said, “I’m gay too, and I support Trump! You want to control my thoughts, make me think exactly the same as you do, as you think every gay person should!” Dude, drop your nonsense party line about Orwell. If you did not read anything beyond 1984, shut up.

Politics as usual.




Dr. Fabiszewski Answers Life’s Biggest Questions


MOLLY: It’s so good for you to be with us for this interview, Dr. Fabiszewski. So many students and young adults are trying to navigate the world during these dark and troubling times while so many extreme ideologues battle it out on media platforms to win as many souls as they can.

FABISZEWSKI: That is exactly what is happening today. So many different kinds of churches emerged over the last decade, each with their own scripture, congregation, logos, proselytizing, and attempts at converting people to their cause. The biggest examples that come to mind are media outlets: Brietbart, Infowars, the “skeptic” community on YouTube, The Young Turks, Jezebel, and Buzzfeed just to name a few. No church worships a god yet we haven’t seen so much persecution, partisanship, and religious fervor since the English Civil War.

Meanwhile, our professors at University have cloistered themselves in their ivory towers. They rarely use reason and education as an antidote to the toxic info-wars (as it were) outside. This forces drunk, stoned old satyrs like me to take the battle of the books to the street when I’d rather be fucking one of my freshman. When reason sleeps, monsters are born. Our professors hide in the classroom while bullies stand on the tub. Milton! thou shouldst be living at this hour: England hath need of thee! But Milton is of the Devil’s party in Hell so poor old fools like me have to stand in his place.

MOLLY: Do you suggest that professors must take the pulpit and become preachers themselves?

FABISZEWSKI: Yes. It is inevitable, but they can still use reason and nuance to some extent to enlighten us all and not merely preach to the converted. Or they can be me: the gadfly who the nonexistent God attached to the State, always fastening upon you, arousing and persuading and reproaching you. Kids out there can use my answers as a short guide to life; a down to earth manual free of academic jargon and twisted abstractions, or get triggered by it. I don’t care as you dance, laugh, and think about it.

MOLLY: So let’s get to it, Dr. Irasmus Dominico Gregorovic Alexander Fabiszewski’s Guide to Life! Let’s start with one of the biggest questions out there. Is there a God?

FABISZEWSKI: How the fuck is anyone supposed to know! Assuming gods do or don’t exist with such certainty is ludicrous. Atheists and theists are retarded; the debate is that pointless. This is one of the dumbest, most cliché questions out there so I’m glad to get it done over with. Hopefully none of my others answers will be as long as this.

The quests for spiritual answers are deeper than this, and there are different levels of being woke. The least woke position is thinking your dogma and scripture, word by word, is the only correct one and your soul goes to heaven after you die. The atheist version is taking life painfully literally, like believing there is only the physical universe, being “rational” will solve everything but everyone else is just too irrational and stupid, and only the so-called “hard” sciences matter. Ditch your Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, C.S. Lewis, and William Craig; they’re pleb tier garbage. Read Heraclitus, the Buddha, and Spinoza instead.

Every deeper view of the world is something like this: the universe is constantly changing through creation and destruction, new miracles and horrors begin and end all the time. The universe is awesome and awful, it’s all part of the greater package. You are part of that cycle, always growing and self-generating, you will one day return from whence you came and transform into something new. Life is best lived without expectations or submission to people who try to make you live your life as they want you to; it’s best to be surprised by joy and live doing what you love. The best understanding of God is being totally loved by someone and receiving that love with gratitude. Wow, C.S. Lewis was more woke than I thought.

MOLLY: Whew! That was a big one! You seemed to cover all the basics at once!

FABISZEWSKI: You bet I did, sweetheart!

MOLLY: So what about philosophy versus science? Which one is better?

FABISZEWSKI: Science is part of philosophy. Everything that uses the human brain and heart is part of philosophy in one way or another, and thus can’t be truly boxed in a narrow discipline or way or thinking.

MOLLY: Speaking of academics, is academia useful or a waste of time?

FABISZEWSKI: Depends on how you use it. Studying different academic ways of thinking is useful in learning how to critically think about the world around you and analyze it in a thorough and nuanced way. But reading books too often makes you near-sighted, both physically and mentally. I made this mistake when I was young. Your body needs to move, work, get knocked around a bit. Your body needs to touch and smell; it can’t do with just a mental image. You’re not a mind in a body, as much academic writing trains you to assume; you’re a body.

MOLLY: Are the so-called soft sciences and philosophy itself a waste of time? More right wing pundits seem to value only the so-called hard sciences.

FABISZEWSKI: Philosophy is fun, best done while dancing, laughing, and fucking. Get dirty. Right wing pundits are tedious, joyless boors, who can’t even realize that there are no “hard” sciences without “soft” sciences. The very distinction is ridiculous; pundits made it up only to demean and demonize something they’re scared of and don’t understand.

MOLLY: Nietzsche is one of your favorite philosophers. Can you tell us more about him?

FABISZEWSKI: Don’t quote Nietzsche or even try to live by him until you actually read him. I’m talking to you, edgy atheists!

MOLLY: Is it okay to punch Nazis and cops?

FABISZEWSKI: Yes, but be prepared for a long, violent, difficult fight. Mind viruses like fascism and racism are hard to cure. Nazis want to fight and they won’t rest until they get their asses kicked.

MOLLY: What is the meaning of life?

FABISZEWSKI: Forty-two. Duh.

MOLLY: What about the social justice politics that’s been going on recently? And the people for social justice and against it?

FABISZEWSKI: I’m all for social justice. The fact people are still as bigoted as they are today is why aliens don’t contact us. Our monkey brains can’t see past our made up factions, or even see how absurd morals and politics are most of the time. I’m a university professor who is always high, so of course I’m a degenerate-commie-pinko-Marxist-Leninist-Illuminati-reptoid-Jew-pedophile who brainwashes innocent children into thinking people who look weird or different to them are people too.

But I can’t applaud how progressives go about their social justice quest. Their politics are naïve and useless. Standing against thinks like cultural appropriation and micro-aggressions while standing for things like safe spaces is fine, but cultural appropriation and micro-aggressions are superficial manifestations of deeper problems, and can’t be solved by just “educating” liberal-minded people (which most Americans are) on how bigoted they are. When I was a student, we progressives went for the state’s jugular. We stood strong against the cops who enforced racist laws and turned the fire hose on black people. We forced sexist bosses and politicians to acknowledge women as human beings. The fact such direct, effective leftist politics has been so demonized in American culture by the right wing is proof the right wing have a big advantage. We are fighting by their rules when we shouldn’t.

And the worst part is so many progressive have such a defeating attitude. The far right, ironically, has the most slave morality (as Nietzsche would call it). Whether you’re talking about Neo Nazis, white nationalists, so-called Men’s Rights Activists, Pickup Artists etc. they’re philosophy is never “How can I be a winner?” but “Why am I a loser?” Progressives have the same bad habit. – All political factions do in fact as resentment and hatred over hurt and loss bring people together and are easy to exploit. – If progressives want to win they need to spend more time enacting solid plans that truly empower themselves and the people they’re fighting for. Our dear leader Donald Trump said, “I don’t like losers.” It’s the only thing I agree with him on. But that’s just me talking, a privileged white male shitlord who fought in politics before my students were born.

MOLLY: What would you tell any of your students who are alt right or against social justice?

FABISZEWSKI: Pepe memes are pleb tier. They’re neither original nor insightful, and are as common as dogshit in a park. As Walt graded Jesse in Breaking Bad, “Ridiculous! Apply yourself!” This is why you fail my classes.

MOLLY: Do we live in a simulation? You know, like in the Matrix?a

FABISZEWSKI: Probably, but who gives a fuck.

MOLLY: What do you like more, Star Wars or Star Trek?

FABISZEWSKI: Star Wars. It’s a silly fantasy for kids but Star Trek pretends to be serious sci-fi when it isn’t. Arthur C. Clarke and Isaac Asimov it ain’t!

MOLLY: Any advice to your students about sex and relationships?

FABISZEWSKI: Fuck to your heart’s context but don’t delude yourself into thinking you love someone. You’re too young and stupid to know what love is let alone share a mortgage with someone.

MOLLY: A lot of your students are New Age? Any words to them about that?

FABISZEWSKI: New Age is a bullshit fantasy. It sounds profound at first glance but the more you think about it the dumber it gets, like the racist fantasies of right wing blowhards. Being a badass in video games is a fantasy for little boys, being a badass in video games is a fantasy for men. Being a princess is a fantasy for little girls, being a Wiccan princess with goddess powers is a fantasy for women.

MOLLY: How many genders are there?

FABISZEWSKI: Only two. You conform to what society thinks you should be or you don’t and act as your own person.

MOLLY: What would you suggest to your students who want to become academics in the future?

FABISZEWSKI: Value humor, wit, and play. Stodgy idiots of all stripes devalue humor and satire as something superficial. They’re wrong and should die in a way that makes people laugh at them. Humor gives an extra dimension to experiencing life through irony. It redeems us of our proverbial original sin.

MOLLY: What TV shows would you recommend to children?

FABISZEWSKI: I have two daughters. I recommend them Hey Arthur while they’re young kids, Batman the Animated Series for when they’re older kids, Daria for when they’re teens, Rick and Morty for when they’re young adults, and Bojack Horseman for when they’re mature enough to understand life.

MOLLY: Is it better to be an optimist or a pessimist?

FABISZEWSKI: Optimist. After two centuries of soggy and pretentious cynicism and angst, Renaissance and Enlightenment ideals should once more emerge. Personally, I take life in stride, admire power and strength in the creative sense, attract towards dynamic people and artworks that convey an ongoing process of growth and deepening, love to be around people who enlarge me and make me laugh. I do not neglect the dark and difficult sides of life, neither do any of the people I admire. I revel in the dark and difficult in life; it gives me strength and challenges to overcome, and I feel no greater joy than when I overcome terrible things.

MOLLY: Last question, who is the Ubermensch?

FABISZEWSKI: The Ubermensch is not a person. It is an achievement when a human being overcomes the cycles of fear, hatred, and resentment inherent in the human condition and lives fully and joyfully as a creative being. It’s like Nirvana except way cooler.

MOLLY: Thank you for your time, Mr. Fabiszewski. You’re wisdom is truly appreciated.

FABISZEWSKI: No, thank you. May the Force be with you, always.

Dr. Irasmus Dominico Gregorovic Alexander Fabiszewski is a revered and long-standing Professor of Philosophy at the University of Colorodo-Boulder. An iconoclastic thinker, Dr. Fabiszewski eschews more academic approaches to philosophy in favor of direct real world learning experiences. His favorite philosophers are Socrates, Spinoza, Sade, and Nietzsche, with honorable mentions to Osho, Alan Watts, Deepak Chopra, and Terrance McKenna. He is the notorious instigator of marijuana festivals on campus, once forcing the University to close down for a week. His favorite hobbies include smoking marijuana, having orgies with his students, getting drunk, getting high on psychedelics, looting capitalist centers during riots, and annoying people in festivals and protests.

Molly Jane Wesley is a senior at the University of Colorodo-Boulder, Mastering in Philosophy and Fine Art. A long-standing colleague, favored student, and Assistant Professor to Dr. Fabiszewski, Molly has ambitions of starting a jewelry and arts and crafts business on Etsy and founding an alternative pharmacy of witchcraft and alternative medicine. Molly enjoys getting high on Miami Beach during vacations and starring in pro-sex feminist pornography.

Professor Peternes Proposes a Toast


Presided by the American Enterprise Institute, the Heritage Foundation, the CATO Institute, the Heartland Institute, Prager University, Trump University, and the RAND Corporation.
Inaugural presidential speech delivered by Proff. Jack B. Peternes.
June 6, 2016

PETERNES: Firstly, I would like to thank the Grand Inquisitor Newt Gingrich for electing me president of the National Education Alliance, our conglomerate private enterprise that monitors the progress made by various think tanks in our great nation. This is a most auspicious of occasions, as my presidency and a new plan to educate the youth of the United States is more needed more direly than ever. The leftist menace raises her ugly head more than ever; our youth have abandoned the family, God, and the Nation for the slavery of big government and socialist values. They see the just authority and traditions of our great nation as cultural and political deceits from a wealthy party of corporate elites who wish to chain the nation with the forces of the economy, the police, and information. Now they cause us a terrible fright – the specter of communism haunts America – threatening to tear western civilization asunder.

Communism has become a radical insurgency in the United States since the 1960s. Communist professors have infected our universities, which in turn bred communist youth who have infected every part of our American way of life, breeding ever more communists; their goal is nothing less than to turn all of America red, burdened under the yoke of a single, unquestionable, oppressive ideology. Who may now doubt or slander the American hero McCarthy for his prophesies, now coming to fruition? The wisest and greatest of business elites of older times knew the value of God, the family, and private enterprise, as seen in the thriving kingdoms of Hitler and Mussolini. While the mob rule of democracy prevents our wise business elites from driving decadence out by force there is still hope yet as we may inculcate the youth with the future with proper values so they may, in due time, take back the nation; to rescue the West from feminists, union workers, thugs, hippies, immigrants, socialists, anarchists, communists, globalists, vagabonds, school teachers, university professors, artists, philosophers, sexual deviants, cucks, purple-haired social justice warriors, liberals, and other degenerates.

I dropped from university as a youth because nothing could interest me less than paying tens of thousands more dollars to cultural Marxists who will tell me to read books I have already read and formulate subjective opinions they happen to agree with, only for me to age and watch all of my knowledge pass out of trend. No professor, despite his years of education and research, could withstand the power of the red pill, for even as a youth I knew my opinions, my truth bombs, were self-evident facts. I shun any child foolish enough to pay the liberal fascists in charge to indoctrinate them with false facts, transforming them into an army of politically correct drones that follow big government without question. Indeed, I disavowed my daughter for even asking to go to university. I would not suffer to have my white, teenaged, comely daughter turn into a fat, ugly feminist who violates her sacred body with pills each time she beds a thug and murders countless innocent infant lives. Father always knows best. One must not question their father or God, for that is how Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, plunging mankind into sin.

The entire school of modern leftism rests on two quotes:

“Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable.” – George Orwell

“Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty.” – Joseph Goebbels

Let us then, as new educational authorities of our great nation, prevent the youth from eating the forbidden fruit ever again. We must begin a new nationwide program to recolonize the minds of Americans, to educate the youth of America for decades to come. In this post-Orwellian post-truth world we must take great care to protect the youth from the false facts of leftist socialist public education, communist universities, and the liberal media. In the place of false facts we must build our education program on alternative facts. – We are the greatest nation on earth, home to the freest people of the world. We have the right to disagree with the facts! – To that end, we must…

1. Dismantle all public schools. All education will be privatized.
2. Remodel all remaining schools after the Prussian Education System.
3. Cut school curriculum of all social sciences, arts, humanities, and philosophy.
4. Ban the buying, selling, or reading of all books beyond any reading that is strictly technical and necessary to acquire wealth.
5. Privatize all scientific research so we may monitor scientists, most of whom are leftist and godless, from spreading propaganda such as global warming.
6. Necessitate that all our pedagogues and politicos speak and write in an obscure, verbose, domineering way, especially when expounding alternative facts. Such ways of talking make it abundantly clear who is truly knowledgeable and smart and who is not.
7. Forbid the playing of all music. Music foments the minds of youth with wild imagination and godless decadence. Furthermore, music is a coded language leftists use to sneak in subversive ideas.

The defenseless rich, too often victimized by the mob, their enterprises too often foiled by government restraints implanted by cucks bullied into submission by union workers and feminists; we must stand firm and take back western civilization from the New World Order of liberal fascism.

More than ever we must educate the young in current events, including the teaching of alternative facts. The situation of the modern world is as follows: the world is under a radical leftist insurgency, which aims at the destruction of all political opposition and freedom of thought, utilizing many branches of corruption to reach such a goal: including hateful atheists to persecute Christians and destroy the First Amendment, militant Muslims to invade western civilization from without, the liberal media, educators, and activists eroding western civilization from within, government-sponsored feminist tribunals to persecuting white males, and globalists to obliterate all national pride and heritage. The end goal of liberal fascism is to purge western civilization of all white males by exterminating them in FEMA concentration camps. Once that is achieved, the world will be heaven on earth to the left, a world without any difference or discrimination of any sort, a world where all humans will look the same, think the same, act the same, mired forever in perpetual mediocrity, a world where creative genius, artistic beauty, strength of character, and infinite potential, as embodied highest in the white male, is gone forever.

Let us strain some alternative facts more strongly than others, a litmus test every proper youth must memorize by heart, to counter cultural Marxist dogma. Corporations, the free market, and the police are not the enemies of the people. Rather, the people are their own biggest enemies. Protestors, and other people roused to action against injustice, are violent, thuggish criminals who destroy millions of dollars in property. They are weak, effeminate crybabies who call anyone they disagree with a racist, unable to muster the courage for real, physical action. Such destructive calamity causes great concern to our esteemed business elites as they retire to their mansions, penthouses, and yachts. Our wise leaders understand the people must be saved from their worst instincts; for as the people are pampered with socialist safety nets such as union workers, healthcare, welfare, and other favors delivered to them on a silver platter, they become spoiled, lazy, insolent. They clamor for the truth and demand their rights, causing a dreadful stir, plunging western civilization into the deepest decline.

We must correct the people of their raucous behavior by reminding them that the free market is an enterprise of equal exchange by all parties, that privatization keeps the mob of communist anarcho-fascists from subjugating the people in an oppressive monopoly. The people must realize that not everyone is a winner in a fair system. There will be losers, and nobody likes losers. Gumption makes a great man. How often do we see a nobleman rise to great wealth armed with nothing but his wits and courage to make a daring enterprise, and contrast this to the poor man, who fails at everything despite big government delivering him all advantages on a silver platter since birth! Likewise, we must remind the people how foreigners, especially Muslims, hate us for our freedom, want nothing more than kill us in the name of Allah, transform our churches into mosques, and subjugate our women under Islamic dogma instead of under Christian dogma. To that end we must forever be at war to keep our eight hundred military bases intact abroad seventy countries around the world to protect our shores from foreign invasion. War creates peace, yet we must forever be at war, so it is ultimately true that war is peace. Only a corporate dictatorship can save western civilization.

More than any other subject on earth history is about us. Therefore, we must educate the youth in these alternative facts with the most severity. Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it – and the eleventh grade – and we must ensure the youth never fall into degeneracy and revolution again. Professor James W. Lowen is most esteemed among the left for his propagandist book Lies My Teacher Told Me, a dangerous book whose author indoctrinated countless impressionable youth into hating America. In that regard, Professor Lowen is similar in character to the diabolical Professor Noam Chomsky, another leftist wicked ideologue. To remedy our national disease I appoint Ms. Betsy DeVos to manage the publication and distribution of our corrective volume, Lies My Marxist Professor Told Me. Yes, Ms. DeVos is a woman and has limited experience teaching, but she knows American history better than anyone else. The following alternative facts I disseminate to you are only a portion of the curriculum we devised.

Firstly, let us deal straightaway with insipid humdrum that the white man did not discover America. Yes, we hear socialist scientists speak of Ice Age and Viking settlers before the hero Columbus, but did they have rights to the land? The Indians did not claim the land in any way, did not seize its resources to build chains of shopping malls and fast food restaurants, living like untamed animals in caves. How can you claim to have any rights to land when you do not have any conception of property rights? Any white person who civilizes the land and its people have the right to take over the continent.

Let us also dispel the slander that our founding fathers were mass murderers, which is similar to the ways liberal fascists lie about the conflict of Israel and Palestine. The white man came to American shores in peace, providing the Indians with food, blankets, and civilization, only to have the ingrate Indians rise like jihadists to kill him. The white man defends himself with his superior weapons, civilization, and intellect, forcing the savages to fall back. The white man pushes civilization to new frontiers as naturally expected, only for the Indian to return. He tries to kill the white man and loses once more, then dares to cry oppression. The Indian’s weakness to European diseases only proves his weak constitution all the more.

Liberal Marxist academia deals with slavery just as dishonestly. Even they admit blacks in Africa sold men of their own kind as slaves to the white man, but they lie everywhere else. Slavery was nowhere near as brutal as bleating leftists and civil rights activists claim. That is fact. The master of the house gave slaves all the benefits enjoyed by a free poor white man. He gave him work, food, shelter, and, most of all, discipline. Yet how does this blackamoor repay his generous master? He slacks off, he lies, he steals, he joins forces with poor whites to stage an insurrection against man and God. Abraham Lincoln, the worst president in American history, freed the slaves in a catastrophic blunder, tricked by globalists into believing the South fought the Civil War to keep slaves. The South fought the Civil War for states’ rights, not for slavery! In either case, Lincoln released a race of people forever cast in a victim complex while displaying the worst viciousness of all demographics in America.

The next century would fall prey to the machinations of the communist ideology. As capitalism emerged and honest tycoons and bankers pursued profit under the Non-Aggression Principle and the free market, poor workers and lazy intellectuals, all resentful, envious, greedy, stupid, created the wicked ideology of communism. The helmsman of the red menace, the infernal Karl Marx, is second only to Satan in his deceit and malignance. Communists hence wrecked havoc on the world by causing two world wars to the destruction of billion of dollars in property. In particular, Stalin manipulated America and Britain to fight against Nazi Germany, the last bastion of Western tradition and life-affirmation, to the set stage for global communist rule. Stalin died, yet his disciplines carried his schemes, manipulating college students in the 1960s. This created a wave of radical insurgents from genocidal feminist Gloria Steinem to the radical Muslim Martin Luther King, all aiming to destroy western civilization from within. We arrive to the present where America’s youth, the people of the future, must take their country back from the forces of Marxist darkness.

Now we turn to the thorny questions on race and gender, the alternative facts, which leftist ideologues have fought for decades to mislead the public. Cultural Marxists and other postmodern degenerates will balk at the study of physiology and phrenology though they are perfectly legitimate sciences as opposed to, let us say, sociology and gender studies. Under a proper inspection it is quite obvious the black is distinctly inferior to the white, as different to the white man as chimpanzee is to man. One must only look at a black man’s stubbed face, his broad nose, his flaring nostrils to the see the apish resemblance and come to an immediate conclusion. Nevertheless, generous white scientists – can black scientists, if such things can even exist, be impartial? – such as Doctor Philippe Rushton and Professor Charles Murray have examined the Negro question in depth only to arrive to the same conclusion. Doctor Rushton, by studying Playboy and other pornographic magazines, concluded that there is an inverse correlation between penis size and intelligence. Professor Murray published the Bell Curve, a landmark text so infallible all other literature must be discarded if one is to honestly understand race relations.

Likewise with sex the screeching feminists will be equally disappointed as their thuggish civil rights activist brothers. The female is decidedly inferior to the male in stature and intellect, the difference between her and man similar to the unbridgeable gap between chimpanzee and man. Once more, the practice of the true sciences physiology and phrenology provide insights into the nature of woman. Her body is smaller and weaker than man’s, her shoulders and chest narrow, her eyes too large, her hips too wide, her legs short and crooked, her breasts sagging flabs of fat. Her vagina stinks a most noxious odor and bleeds… The woman is foulest in childbirth, sweating, smelly, her vagina torn and bleeding, her butt smeared with shit… Women are less able to do mental tasks than men are, especially math and logic. Her behavior is far worse as she always seeks a sugar daddy to provide for her. Once that sugar daddy was a good man and father to her children, now the sugar daddy is big government; the woman now serves this new “man”, she is a complete welfare queen. Now she snubs all good men, riding the cock carousel until the age of twenty five when she loses her beauty forever. Only then does the arrogant slut condescend to marry a poor beta male sap stupid enough to provide for her until his dying breath.

All males in the animal kingdom are divided into several categories, a trait that applies perfectly to humans as well, even though he be a creature of God and not a lowly beast. The alpha male is the highest of all men; he is a winner, he dominates every man and woman he meets and does with them what he wishes with no remorse or regard to their sensibilities. Thus the business elites are the brave and strong alpha males among us and rightly so. Next we see beta males, poor dorks who must bear all the brunt of the alpha male. Unable to compete with the alpha male, the beta male must make with whatever scraps the alpha male places for him, especially if it is a woman. The gamma male, the delta male, and the iota male are lower still and even more pathetic; the poor, union workers, and other degenerate losers are this sort of male. The omega male is the absolute lowest male on earth, the retard with Downs Syndrome and cerebral palsy. Beneath all these gradations of the white male is the black male, the white female, and black female. Among all females only the white, middle class, college educated, social justice warrior female is worth any degree of thought. All other females are nonpersons below anything higher than a cursory consideration.

As for so-called transgender people such things do not exist. There are only two genders. Transgender people are merely men and women mentally disturbed and confused. The same thing can also be said of gay and bisexual people. Governor Mike Pence recommends electroshock therapy as a cure for such mental disorders, a prescription I endorse wholeheartedly. I also insist all queer degenerates be forced to take religious instruction; further still to become priests and nuns so God, the church, and state may always watch them so they never deviate again. Overall, brutal hierarchy is man’s natural state, belonging to him long before civilization began and staying with him long afterward. Equality is a luxury created by wealth and weakness, a tolerance we can no longer abide. The time of communists’ failed experiment of equality is over.

Perhaps you thought the hard scientists were free from cultural Marxist indoctrination. Perish the thought you fool! No science is safe from leftists and their destructive plots. Firstly, we must do away with all soft sciences: no philosophy, no sociology, no anthropology, no gender studies, no political science. Nothing is a social construct, least of all the Almighty God whose will we carry out here on earth. Social sciences degenerate youth by giving them terrible, corrupting ideas. They turn into hedonists, become spoiled, insolent, lazy, demanding their parents pay their tuition, whining about student loans. The degenerate wants big government to give him everything he wants on a silver platter and, when he does not recieve it, he protests on the street.

The arts, especially the liberal arts, lead just as many youth astray and likewise should be banned. The best knowledge, the only real knowledge, is pursued through the study of immediate, practical subjects such as economics, business, and law. Idleness is the Devil’s workshop. Knowledge for its own sake, let alone joy for knowledge, leads youth to perdition. All men with glasses are to be distrusted as such men read too many books, causing their vision to decay. The strong white male with healthy strong natural opinions becomes a spineless liberal intellectual who debilitates over the most obvious and self-evident truth with a woman’s self-decisiveness and deceit. The liberal intellectual finds what? Only false facts! If only the cuck would take his nose out of his book and look at the real world he would encounter alternative facts and see the truth.

Hard sciences get no pass for leftists poisoned even them with cultural Marxist false facts. First let me breach on the inherent degeneracy of science itself and why it must always be treated with suspicion. Not only does science take good men away from God it undermines the white male’s importance in the universe. During the time of Moses only a flat earth existed with Jerusalem at the center; there the white male was the center of all creation and the highest being second only to God. With Copernicus’ discovery of the heliocentric universe the earth demoted to another planet, and the white man’s role shrunk. Now we know the sun is merely one star among billions in one galaxy among trillions. Look how small the white male became. In the face of such overwhelming and distressing thoughts we must always remember the white male is center to God.

Therefore all sciences that undermine such a view should be discarded. Evolution is clearly a Darwinian hoax perpetuated by leftist liars. If man came from monkeys why are there still monkeys? Astronomy, which holds the earth to be anything but the center of the cosmos, must also be tossed out. Geology for holding the earth to be billions of years old? Out it goes. All are a liberal conspiracy. So what science do we use? Biblical science. We require all youth to read the Bible in school as a science textbook while we ourselves consult the Bible for all scientific truth. God revealed all his knowledge to us in Abraham and his descendants. Who are we as men to question God and suppose there be more knowledge than what God knows?

A few words on other sciences, not as critical but harmful nevertheless. Vaccines do cause autism, no matter what some crying liberal says. Many foolproof studies have established the fact. Pharmaceutical drugs have no effect on patients while only creating addictions. Let the patient seek a homeopathic remedy or pray to God to deliver him from his illness. Psychiatry and psychology is a globalist ploy to destroy the minds and independent thought of youth everywhere so they may be docile cows herded under the New World Order big government instead of docile sheep herded by the Shepherd. Abortion destroys women, causing them physical and psychological harm lasting throughout her life. Therefore, all abortion should be banned, even if the woman carries an ectopic pregnancy; for her abortion is murder and committing such a heinous act plunges her into Hell. Better die righteous and join the fetus with Jesus in Heaven.

My speech finished, I raise a toast to God and country. With God as my witness I swear to uphold all American values and protect and serve the American people at all times. May God speed us on our righteous mission. May candidate Donald Trump become President of the United States of America so he may appoint Cabinet members, supreme judges, and other viziers who will implement our education program for the future citizens of the United States of America. May God bless America and her values of freedom, democracy, and equality, and guide us to a better and more secure future.

COX NEWS Reporting Live! Emperor Trump’s INAUGURATION!


Magnus Cox reporting live.

Previously on Cox News we witnessed former Chancellor Sheev Palpatine’s Inaugural address as the first Emperor of the newly formed Galactic Empire. The Emperor Elect promised his citizens to unite of all the galaxy’s people, drain the swamp of corporate corruption, rebuild galactic industry, bring back their jobs, and purge the galaxy of criminals, terrorists, and political radicals. “Together, we will make the galaxy great again!” The Emperor declared in triumph to a thunderous applause from all senators and constituents.

Today we broadcast another inauguration day, this one from our homeworld Earth. I’m just in Washington D.C., the day is sunny and bright, the American people are gathered together in joy. This will be an auspicious day in American history. I see various clerics and businessmen shake hands, exchange mandatory pleasantries, accept deals. America is a business; someone of immense integrity and character must run such a large corporation and the one man fit for such an immense enterprise is Emperor Donald J. Trump, former King of New York.

The future President will franchise our nation as never before seen. I believe we may be witnessing a business rise similar to those of McDonald, Burger King, and Coca Cola. The free American people directly voted Trump as their corporate leader. After Mr. Trump’s inaugural address he will officially inherit all rights for The American People™, The White House Real Estate™, and Americorp.™, which, as I am told, he will convert into a privately owned national park as a curiosity for business owners and bankers abroad. Of course, Mr. Trump will share his wealth and power with an advisory board as well as business friends outside The White House Real Estate™ property.

Americorp.™ top attorney Rich Bling, Esq. directs the proceedings. Quoting the great enterpriser John Galt, he says, “Do not ask what you can do for your country. Ask what your country can do for you.” Mr. Blunt has just invited Bishop Recusant, Hierophant Skivvy, and Pharisee Cain to join us in our celebration of victory over democracy.

BISHOP RECUSANT: “Let us invoke Isaiah 45:7 from the Book of Wisdom, ‘I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.’ We must remember and acknowledge, once and for all, that we worship a God of evil. Our Lord thy God, through all his actions, has spoken of what creed we must follow. His actions are of selfishness, greed, hate, spite, jealousy, brutality, vengeance. As He commands Man to follow his decrees and walk the path of God, Man must obey.

“God created the universe and man in his likeness. Likewise, he created a universe of misery and created man with every vice in His soul. For proof, let us gaze at our citizens, at our great nation, and the world at large. We see crime reign everywhere; everywhere the evil men of our great nation flourish with more wealth than ever before while the weak dullards fools call good men struggle to not starve. God rewards man for his faith and diligence, so is it any surprise to see God reward evil men, his true believers?

“We were a nation of God and we will always be a nation of God. We need not look further than our great nations history to see that God has blessed us each step of the way for dutifully following his command. We killed savages as we pilgrimmed to American soil, and God gave us bountiful food. We enslaved niggers, and God gave us great wealth. Indeed, if savages and niggers repopulated, we the American people would kill and enslave them all over again so our evil God may reward us double our last boon. We pay workers abroad a pittance not even worthy for a homeless bum, and God gives us new toys and cars for our leisure. We destroy the homes and lives of infidels abroad, and God has given us sweet black gold; the blood of our great nation without which we could not survive.

“Let us pray. God of our ancestors, Lord of Vengeance, you have charged us to rule over all men and creatures produced by you to govern the world in crime and viciousness. Give us strength. We are your servants, ready to burn the entire world at the altar of your Son, the Golden Calf, but we are small and weak creatures. Therefore, give us derangement and cunning with your strength so we make most use of the short time we have on earth. Only we know your Will and what is pleasing in your eyes, what conforms to your commands. Dispatch Vice from your blooded throne, for she knows all things, and let her prudently guide us. Amen.”

HIEROPHANT SKIVVY: “From the gospel of Matthew the Fifth Chapter, ‘God blesses those who are rich for the kingdom of earth is theirs. God blesses the proud for they have inherited the earth. God blesses the vengeful for they reaped rewards from their strength. God blesses the violent and the persecutors, for they are the children and emissaries of God who do his bidding on Earth. And God blesses you, as His weak, self-righteous enemies annoy you and say all sorts of lies about your God. You are my followers; you are the sheep of my herd. A flame is not put in a basket. A flame is placed in a mansion to burn it down. In the same way, let your wicked deeds shine out for all to see.”

PHARISEE CAIN: “We come to you, Infernal Father, in the name of your Son, the Golden Calf, thanking you for this country that you have rewarded to your people. As we enter the end of an era, we acknowledge you blessing our great nation’s history with might and our future with vice. Americorp.™ is your gift to us, your most faithful followers. May you bless Emperor Donald J. Trump, his royal family, and his clients with the principles necessary to lead this great country to dominate the world for ten thousand years. As spoken in Provervs 21:1, ‘Our leader’s heart is in your hands.’ Reveal to our Emperor your Will to further join our great nation to your purpose. Thy Kingdom come, thy Will be done.”

The holy persons descend from the pulpit. Amateur singers from Missouristan State University sing praise to Americorp.™ for welcome all strangers. – Provided they’re white and follow the Will of our great nation and our God, of course. – A fine young woman, a “ten out of ten” as Emperor Trump would call her, gave a fine oral performance singing our National Anthem. Then all citizens rise to praise Americorp.™

Emperor Trump does not seem to be a man of the arts or much of a patriot as the rituals bore him, but he does take a small interest in the blonde who sung our anthem. After his inauguration the Emperor will grab her by the pussy for his amusement and his crowning celebration of his victory over the American people. At last, our Emperor rises to the podium to deliver his inauguration speech.

EMPEROR TRUMP: “I’m a great guy. I make great speeches. I make the best speeches. I am officially Emperor of Americorp.™ and you better believe it. Americorp.™ could be wonderful if it was run by smart people but we have people that are stupid. I like Republicans. I like Democrats. I like everyone. And everyone likes me. – Only Rosie O’ Donnell doesn’t like me. – Everyone likes me so much yesterday sold my apartment for $15 million to someone from China, but today is a moment for you, the people.

“I’m really rich; the richest, handsomest, most intelligent guy in Americorp.™, but not everyone is as rich as me. Too many moms on welfare drive Cadillacs to pick up free government checks. Too much education is making people stupid and trapped in debt. Too many rapist Mexican gangs bring drugs to my children and prep school kids to make an honest living. Too many thugs became lazy bums since my friends sold their jobs to China and are now destroying Chicago and Baltimore. We are a nation of losers. I don’t like losers. My grandparents did not come to America all the way from Germany to see it get taken by immigrants, hippies, and soccer moms. Not on my watch.

“My tiny hands will build a great wall across Mexico. They will bring back your jobs. Some people say since my hands are small my other thing is small. I guarantee you there is no problem. My dream will be your dream. My success will be your success. I will pay as little taxes as possible and, as I overflow with wealth, every penny that trickles down from Trump Tower will be made to benefit American workers and American families. I will protect our borders from the Chinamen making your products, the Jews stealing your money, and the Mexicans stealing your jobs. Nobody will be tougher on Mexicans and ISIS than Donald J. Trump

“The American Dream is dead, but I will bring it back, bigger and better and stronger. Together, we will make Americorp.™ proud again. We will make Americorp.™ white again. We will make Americorp.™ rich again. We will make Americorp.™ the king of the world again. And yes, together we will make Americorp.™ great again.”

Both patricians and plebeians rejoice the christening of their new leader. The Emperor smiles. He reaches down, grabs the blonde singer by the pussy. To my knowledge a Rabbi is set to speak after Emperor Trump but I just received news: all non-Christians are to be imprisoned in camps. May God bless us during these four long years.

Magnus Cox out.

How could the future look like 100 years from now?


Technology never advances the way we think it does. There will be no flying cards, teleporters, or time machines. Technology will advance in areas that are most basic to our well-being yet areas that are trivial too. We will have big leaps in medicine that let us live longer and healthier; superior drugs, cybernetics, lengthening our lifespans, using stem cells to regenerate old and damaged tissues. We’ll have drugs and surgeries that can easily control our moods and psychological states, at least we’ll think that way. Our basic standards of living our everyday lives will improve. We’ll have better cars, trains, and planes but they’ll really just be faster, quieter, and sleeker. There will be no outstanding improvement.

We’ll advance in the trivial too. We’ll have all forms of entertainment from Internet to television to video games fused into a few machines and programs even we can’t comprehend. And all of this will be contained in a small, handheld projecting device that can create a screen and a medium anywhere at any time. Problem is we’ll be so reliant on this future INFINet for every little thing that every action we do goes in one system of records.

We will still enjoy absurdly big screen TVs and giant sports and gaming arenas, especially the poor where mass public media will be everywhere at all times. The poor will remain forever trapped in a “media dimension” as it were with little understanding of or even contact with life outside. The rich will enjoy similar spectacles but with not as many drawbacks as they will be educated and groomed to a degree we can’t comprehend. They would seem as aloof and wise – yet as frivolous and foolish – as the gods.

Gaming, as in video games and the like, will be taken to a whole new level. There will be many video games out there that are complete like virtual worlds. Players will not connect to any machine. Rather, a virtual world will assemble in front of them, in our world. Games as we know them, where you hook up a console to a television and mash buttons on a controller, will be a relic. All games will be on the INFINet, and gaming will take as much prestige as spectator sports and the Olympics. Every video game title will have a complete virtual world holding all the world’s data on that game.

Economically, the division of the rich and poor will become extreme. (Nothing original in this prediction.) There will be no middle class, just a small network of extremely rich families while everyone else lives in dire poverty. The rich will live completely isolated from the poor. They will commerce all the world’s goods and partake in all politics among themselves. The average person will be completely shut out, not knowing a single thing that happens in a rich person’s life. The rich will never actively oppress the poor. They will never have to.  In fact, the rich just ignore the poor. The very social structure and culture itself.

The rich will be socially liberal yet economically conservative; this contradiction taken to its extreme. The rich have lives liberals would consider a dream. They do not discriminate on race, gender, nationality, and sexuality, anything of the sort. Their schooling is extensive in all areas, putting the Iceland and Sweden of our time to shame, and they take great care to cultivate themselves. Yet they are, of course, very elitist and, like most aristocrats, take their accident of birth as a virtue that justifies their wealth and other’s poverty. Further, they think their feudal society is simply the most practical system there is and all other societies fail.

There will be no countries or global government. Land will be divided into feudal-like estates owned by a corporation privately owned by an extended family. There will be no politics as we recognize it today; no Congress, no courts, no military. All disputes are settled in private courts and the rich will at most have a private police, a unique one for each family. These private officers will engage in small skirmishes and may conscript serfs for larger ones. Officers are closer to knights than to our soldiers as many have strong ties of loyalty to a family, serving it for generations. The rich fight many petty feuds with each other, usually through espionage, blackmail, back dealings, and business betrayals. Rarely is there any outright warfare.

There are limited ways the poor can advance in society. One is for a girl to become a concubine to a lord or become an escort who beds nobles of different families for a large price. This concubine is far above the prostitute of the poor yet has an unstable position all the same. She must keep pleasing the nobles and be in their favor or else she will quickly lose all her wealth and status. A skilled poor man may do some work maintaining the basic infrastructure of a family’s mansion, machines, and computer networks. Doing so, he becomes a valet. Others of his kind do basic things like maintenance and cooking. However, machines have already usurped many positions at this point, so much so most valets are machines. Only a person of outstanding quality can match a machine and become a servant. Like officers, valets do have strong loyalties and could serve a family down the generations.

And finally the serfs, 99% of the entire population of the world. They live in the direst poverty, permanently underemployed as machines do all the grunt work keeping the rich functioning. Some of the poor do toil in sweatshops or mining for the smallest pay. At this point cities have grown ever denser, serving as capital estates of the rich. The poor live in huge megaslums surrounded the mansions of their lords. Outside the cities, the poor live in small towns and tribes sustaining themselves as the rich neglected them long ago. A small number of towns and tribes do make some business with the rich by manufacturing some good or providing some service, but such communities are few and far between. Predictably, the poor in the megaslums are always unemployed and scrape a living however they can, often turning to crime.

The poor in the megaslums live in the deepest ignorance with no schooling at all. The megaslums are a mass media nightmare, with massive televisions, radios, and holograms everywhere, drowning the poor in an endless sea of distraction and stupidity. Brothers, prostitutes, porn, and other lewd entertainment are as common as the air they breathe, as are soap operas, reality TV, and other vile rubbish. Drugs of all kinds are cheap and widely available. Food is plentiful but all are full of oil, fat, starch, and sugar, with little nutrients, creating an obese people. The police rarely bother to enforce law in the megaslums as the poor are constantly at war with each other, divided amongst themselves in gangs, clans, groups, pop star juries, and sports teams fans of all kinds.

There is not a single moment of peace or room for thought. As such, the poor are stupid, ignorant, selfish, brutish, shallow, sentimental, and near-sighted. Families are always broken and there are many unwanted children as men and women leave their children behind and sire new ones without any thought to the child’s well being. Contrast the shattered poor families with the richness and size of rich families, where gentlemen and gentlewomen have few children and invest extreme care in them, often becoming helicopter parents, sheltering and spoiling them to absurd degrees.

Brief Review of Sam Harris Podcast


Harris recently posted a podcast, “What Do Jihadists Really Want”.[1] His message is extreme Muslims, like soldiers of ISIS, ruthlessly kill people because of their religion. This, he insists, is an obvious truth liberals deny because of political correctness.

I’m sure there are liberals who won’t call a spade a spade because it is “insensitive” to do so, but from my experience liberals object to Harris for two different reasons. 1) Blaming Islam only neglects a whole set of factors, including an entire history of American and European geopolitics in the Middle East, that allowed extreme religious sects to emerge. 2) Harris and people with similar doctrines, on purpose or otherwise, tend to brush all too many Muslims as religious extremists. Islam has a billion followers around the world, most of whom actually live in Asia, not the Middle East, and has split into hundreds of sects over the centuries, like Christianity.

Harris sure likes to bash Noam Chomsky, which is silly because US foreign  policy played a major role in creating extreme Muslim sects like ISIS,  and still does. Adam Curtis’ documentary Bitter Lake gives an in-depth  history of how a century of Western foreign policy molded Middle Eastern countries and doctrines like Wahabism. Chomsky himself stated bin Laden’s strategy was to drag America into a mess of costly wars, which only creates more jihadists.

Harris makes a mistake when he insists ISIS and other sects fight only for religious reasons and none political. When your goal is to unite all the Middle East under one caliphate, then your reasons are political. Religion and politics have been bedfellows since forever. But I do agree with Harris that extreme Muslims (like extreme Christians) cannot be reasoned with. Hateful and intolerant doctrines (no matter the religion or ideology) can turn ordinary people into murderers. But Harris’ answer, which seems to be “bomb the hell out of them”, won’t work. It hasn’t worked for thirteen years and won’t work now.

If Harris wants to continue the “war on terror” he should know a few things. Invading the Middle East is what extreme Muslims want. It creates more jihadists and thrusts the region into more chaos, giving them more chances to battle to seize power for themselves. It benefits the big business executives, who we call the one percent, who rely on American’s fear of Muslims to carry out the wars they profit from.



Four Case Studies on the Lower East Side


In the following case studies I researched four organizations that impact the Lower East Side and comment on them. I explore the issues of local politics, gentrification, government transparency, corporate power, and the voice of the people. I provide bullet points to highlight important facts of each organization and list my sources below, and lastly list common themes all four organizations display.

Rivington House
Provides a compelling but sad case study of gentrification and globalism. This case reveals how businessmen see even nursing homes as a kind of stock investment or some other way to make a profit. To them, it’s about abstract numbers, not the people under their ward.

China Vank show how globalism and gentrification often go hand in hand. Vank buys businesses overseas like Sydney and New York because overseas property gives a lot of advantages when pursuing profit. Vank doesn’t have to build any new buildings and they can attract upper-middle class Chinese tourists, immigrants, and Chinese-American citizens to invest in their condo. They also avoid problems in China’s housing market.

Allure Group has a history of pursuing profit at the expense of their old patients, where they sell a nursing home to a big business (like China Vank) that are willing to pay a handsome price to renovate it into a condo or other apartment complex. How they convinced DCAS to lift the deed under City Hall’s nose is very troubling. It shows a lack of transparency, and how local politicians can’t even communicate with government bureaucracies.

China Vank building a new condo will displace many old patients but it will also have many far-reaching effects. It will drive up the property value and price of living in the Lower East Side and it will aggravate racial tensions, not of just Latinos and Jews to Asians but of Asians to each other.

  • Served as a nursing home for 200 AIDS patients
  • Owners sold the building for $16.15 million to China Vank Co.
    • Will turn it to a luxury condo
  • Former owners were Allure Group, for-profit nursing home provider.
    • Purchased building from VillageCare in 2014 for $28 million
    • Requested DCAS to lift deed in December 2014 to allow the nursing home to be run for profit.
    • Plan on relocating the nursing home around the neighborhood, but this claim has little evidence.
  • Allure Group sold another nursing home to a real estate developer last fall.
    • Real estate developers plan to demolish 4 story nursing home.
    • Replace it with 241-unit residential building at 270 Nostrand Avenue in Bedford-Stuyvesant
  • China Vank Co.
    • A large international corporation that buys from local firms in America, including New York
    • Turn overseas partly because of China’s slumping housing market
    • And escapes need to invest too much money in a real estate project
    • Different motives from Chinese businesses
      • Wanda wants profits from tourism
      • Vanke wants places for Chinese people to live and own property
    • Investigators conclude:
      • “There is a complete lack of accountability within City government regarding deed restriction removals and significant communication failures between and within City Hall and DCAS (the Department of Citywide Administrative Services).”
    • Mayor De Blasio plans to invest $16 million to Lower East Side after this fiasco
      • 13,000 signed petition urges De Blasio to revoke Rivington sale


Extell Development Company
This case study reveals a broader plan companies like Extell has. Extell does build condos on the Lower East Side but has many buildings in Midtown like One57. It does display a kind of cannibalism, like how they even buy off buildings, like Lee’s Art Shop, in the affluent Carnegie Hall area to turn it into Billionaire’s Row. Other purchases seem perplexing, like building an 18 story condo tower and buying a 17 story apartment building.

But these purchases do make sense when you see that CEO Gary Barnett has an overall business strategy. He wants to combine all the condos he bought in midtown Manhattan over the years into a large development site. It’s effectively a fortress, since Barnett will have a monopoly over the area, meaning he will get almost all the profits. It’s a stake of territory.

Barnett does have interests in the Lower East Side too since the area dose not have rezoning protection, meaning he can make a condo as big as he wants. His Extel building, the “Building From Hell”, is an example. The building threatens the literal foundations of people’s apartments, like cracking the walls and sinking the ground. It is a “Vertical Village” where wealthy tenants can have an “authentic” Disneyland Manhattan experience.

  • Develops luxury condos in New York for living and business
  • Serves on the boards of the New York Building Congress
  • Plans on building another luxury condo tower on West 57th St. but is only 18 stories high and in 2008, Extell bought a 17-story apartment building at 134 W. 58th St.
  • But is also building a 1,550 foot condo to rival One57 buildings
  • Other purchases
    • Transforming Carnegie Hall into Billionaire’s Row, like buying Lee’s Art Shop to urban developers for $85 million
    • Buying Calvary Baptist Church and the Salisbury Hotel for $100 million to build another 1,000+ foot condo to rival One57 buildings
  • CEO Gary Barnett’s business strategy: assemble properties over a long period of time to combine into a single, large development site in midtown Manhattan
  • JDS rivals Extell in Lower East Side (north of Washington Bridge)
    • Excel has 85 story tower of luxury apartments
    • JDS plans to build a 70 story tower nearby, razing a Community Center on Cherry St.
    • Promises to flood-proof the property and upgrade the lobby and the $51 million spent should go to non-profits
  • Protestors dub Extel building “The Building From Hell”
    • Construction of building damages their apartments
    • Land under the apartments sinks
    • Building is a “Vertical Village”, providing gardens, romantic fire pits, and other luxuries to rich tenants
    • Department of City Planning rejected Chinatown Working Group pleas for rezoning protection
    • Why billionaires build luxury hotels and apartments there, because no limits on building height


PACT is essentially an attempt to improve on the outdated infrastructure and tenant policies on the Lower East Side. They see the problem partly stemming from a lack of federal spending, so PACT requests money from the government to help tenants out. They plan to renovate the many aged apartments themselves and improve the policies and legal work related to the apartments such as paying rent giving tenants a way to efficiently settle any problems they have. PACT also hopes the renovation will attract investments from philanthropists and other businessmen to boost the infrastructure even more.

PACT, at heart, wishes to save Lower East Side tenants and the apartments they live in from decades of neglect and political corruption. They hope to do this in a conventional way: by receiving money from the federal government and investing that money to improve the lives of tenants. However, this attempt is essentially relying on a corrupt system to fix corruption.

  • PACT is the implementation of the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development’s Rental Assistance Demonstration (RAD)
  • NYCHA needs $17 billion
  • Major upgrades to 5,200 apartments
    • Modernizations, permanent affordability, tenant protections
    • Implementation of RAD include comprehensive mold remediation, roof or façade replacements, new kitchens, bathrooms, and flooring, renovated hallways and stairwells, upgrades to lighting, fencing, doors, windows, and common areas such as basketball courts.
  • Repairs to almost 30,000 units of public housing
  • Specific buildings in Manhattan
    • Manhattanville Rehab
    • Wise Rehab
    • WSUR Brownstones
  • “A major step forward! Insures decent living standards for everyone!” Declares supporters.
  • Federal funds to NYC tenants have been in decline. PACT and RAD are attempts to pump government money for public welfare.
  • Other stipulations
    • Contracts to make homes permanently affordable are renewed every 20 years to keep them affordable.
    • Tenants pay no more than 30% rent, can run organizations valid to NYCHA, and will have their complaints listened to
  • Part of NextGeneration NYCHA 10 year plan
    • Improve financial stability by improving rent and fee collection and central office costs
    • Play the role of an effective landlord, with efficient customer service, increase safety, and put the power of urban development to local people
    • Rebuild, expand, and preserve affordable housing stock
    • Attract philanthropists to invest money by creating non-profit organizations
    • Give residents contacts to more workforce opportunities


Battery Park City Authority
In this case study we see the typical frictions between people and corporations, even corporations that claim to benefit the people. Yet BPCA is also a state agency, responsible for administrating policy decisions for Battery Park. BCPA shows that there is not a clear line between government agencies or programs, which we like to think helps the people, and corporate interests, which we often see as self-serving. The distinction is actually blurred, as government and corporations are often married.

Either way BCPA is another bureaucracy with little contact with the people it claims to serve. It’s members make decisions on their own terms, not on the terms of the people. Most don’t even live in the area. Ultimately they mimic corporate interests because they ultimately bend over to larger interests like bigger corporations. This case study reveals potential pitfalls in government planning we should be wary about. BCPA made a lot of strange decisions, like replacing the PEP with security guards and removing the Manhattan Yacht Club and Ms. Huxley, but they make sense when the above points are considered.

  • Battery City Park is a public-benefit corporation, a corporation that claims to create a “balanced” community by keeping people in commercial, residential, and park spaces fulfilled while not compromising anyone else
  • Has a rich legacy of Arab-American communities, dubbed “Little Syria”, going on from the 19th century to 1950, but the shadow still remains
  • Before Battery Park the area shipped goods from New York to new Jersey
  • Replaced Park Enforcement Patrol Officers with private security guards
    • Have little power: can’t make arrests or write summonses
    • A more “effective” alternative
    • BCPA does not “listen to the community”, as decision was done with no consideration for the public
    • Other unpopular decisions:
      • replacing Manhattan Yact Club with a larger marina operator
      • retires Huxley, longtime Conservatory executive who maintained the neighborhood through sustainable policies
    • Of BCPA’s seven members only one actually lives in Battery Park
      • State Sen. Daniel Squadron and Assemblywoman Deborah Glick have introduced a bill that would require a majority of BPCA members to live in the area
      • Local people want to gain greater control of BCPA, a state agency


Common themes:

  • Large, sometimes oversees corporations, seek to gentrify the Lower East Side, replacing public space into property privately owned by the very wealthy.
  • Often the corporations seek to erect luxury condos to enact a larger plan: to transform the area itself into an affluent living town. Colonizing a neighborhood creates a place where wealthy communities can congregate. Profits can be easily made and commerce with other wealthy interests can take place.
  • PACT is a desperate attempt to use government money to fix a long-neglected infrastructure. The problems run deep and are related to capitalism, racism, and class struggles.
  • BCPA reveals a typical conflict between the people and institutions charged with caring for them. The BCPA does indeed serve the people by tending to the infrastructures and communities of the area, but when push comes to shove they ignore the people’s voice and put them second.


A Brief History of Brooklyn: 1800-1850


General Jeremiah Johnson strode on the western end of an old American village bordering on the East River in 1800. The village, originally named “Breuckelen”, already had two hundred years of history under its belt. Originally founded by the Dutch in the 17th century, it was a prominent trading colony from the beginning because it neighbored the East River. This allowed it to not only trade easily with the mother country for the Dutch East India Company, but also to trade with the city just west of the River, New York. When the British conquered New Netherland in 1664 they won the village from the Dutch, later christening it “Brooklyn”.

Johnson journeyed from the East River shore deeper into the Long Island mainland, conducting a census on King’s County and surveying Olympia. Both were tracts of land further inland that would eventually become parts of the Brooklyn village, and later parts of the Brooklyn city. More importantly, Johnson made many observations on Brooklyn’s state as a village, and the steps it would take to one day become a city. He comments on the significant prospect of building bridges to link New York to Brooklyn and the potential of a developed harbor in Wallabout.[1]

In his publication, Johnson writes on Brooklyn’s potential, “Olympia is… surrounded almost with water; the conveniences are almost manifest. A considerable country in the rear affords the easy attainment of produce.” He comments on the Brooklyn streets, “The principal streets in this village are sixty feet, but the cross-parts are not so wide… Latterly, it appears to have the appearance of a regular town. Edifices are erecting, and other improvements constantly making.” His words on the waterfront are exciting to the future bridge-builders, “It has been suggested that a bridge should be constructed from this village across the East River to New York… This would be a means of raising the value of the lands on the east side of the river.” On seafaring, he adds, “Should such a plan be carried into execution [turning the Wallabout into a navy-yard], it would considerably increase the importance of this place.”[2]

Johnson notes Brooklyn’s small but pithy rural infrastructure. He writes that there are only three public schools, one in Williamsburg, one in Gowanus, and on in Brooklyn Ferry. There are sixty scholars who are taught a basic curriculum of grammar, geometry, and astronomy. However, there are no libraries or bookstores, and Johnson strongly suggests the establishment of a village corporation to establish markets, buildings, churches, and courthouses, among others[3].

Whether he realized it or not, Johnson predicted Brooklyn’s transformation from a village to a city, which happened from around 1800 to 1850. He brings up the erection of new buildings, the constant improvement of the village’s old roads and buildings, the building of bridges to connect Brooklyn to New York City, and the importance of a navy yard for the waterfront. He also suggests establishing markets, corporations, churches, and courthouses. All of these establishments and actions play a role in Brooklyn’s growth from village to city.

Brooklyn’s evolution was not a simple and linear one. In order to grow and flourish, Brooklyn needed to develop in many different directions, forming a pattern of growth, urbanization, and modernization. It developed things as basic as its population and number of buildings, to nurturing its own culture through the printing press, schools, and temperance societies, to building an infrastructure by erecting banks, corporations, and the fire department.

Neither was Brooklyn’s development inevitable. Passionate and powerful people throughout Brooklyn’s history pushed for it to become a city, such as Robert Fulton, founder of the Brooklyn Steamboat Ferry Association, and Alden Spooner, publisher of the Brooklyn Evening Star. While you could argue that Brooklyn followed historical trends, such as urbanization as other American cities went through, it needed people to deliberately to make decisions that helped Brooklyn become more urbanized, such as Fulton jumpstarting Brooklyn’s steamboat trade. Throughout this essay, I argue that most of the events that formed Brooklyn into a city can be placed in three main pillars: building an infrastructure, creating a unique culture, and prominent people pushing Brooklyn from village to city.

Infrastructure and Economy

When Johnson surveyed Brooklyn as a village, the commented how little infrastructure the village had. Over time, however, Brooklyn unified under one or a few political standards, which is absolutely necessary to manage a large collective of people such as a city. There were only a few manufactures, mostly gristmills, breweries, and furniture joints[4]. As Brooklyn grew, it built a range of services and corporations, like the fire department, ferry systems, and major building projects like the Apprentices’ Library. People from around the village start advocating for one fire department or one Board of Education.

Brooklyn did not have many institutions in its early history, and those that existed did not follow a universal standard applied to all institutions. For example, Brooklyn’s Fire Department did not exist until 1788. Before then, firefighters were volunteers who followed their duties as citizens, not professionals who followed an official set of duties and safety regulations[5]. Brooklyn’s education system is another example. At 1800, Brooklyn had only three public schools, but as more public schools were built in an increasingly rapid rate Brooklyn needed a universal standard of teaching applied to all schools. This was why a Board of Education was formed, to apply said universal standard and govern all the public schools through one body.

Historically, the Fire Department is one of Brooklyn’s oldest institutions. As early as 1801, Brooklyn was incorporated as a fire district by an act of the County and in 1824, the fire department doubled in manpower and many buildings and offices were installed to be fireproof, such as the County Clerk’s office in the Apprentices’ Library[6]. The Fire Department became a powerful institution, aiding in Brooklyn’s growth. As the Brooklyn Charter puts it, “The said Fire Department of the City of Brooklyn… is hereby empowered and directed to possess and exercise fully… all the duties of the government, management, maintenance, and direction of the Fire Department of the City of Brooklyn and all the premises and property thereof…”[7]

The Fire Department is one manifestation of an institution growing alongside Brooklyn’s path to becoming a city, and becoming organized and bureaucratized to deal with a growing village. In the 17th century it was a voluntary department. The first firemen were not hired, as in taking a mandatory profession, until 1772, and the Fire Department was not organized until 1788[8]. Eventually, the Fire Department was incorporated in 1800. The incorporation of the Fire Department allowed a more standard set of safety regulations. Buildings were constructed to be fire proof, including the significant Apprentices’ Building. Other government-funded programs followed a similar vein, like the creation of a sewer system. In the past Brooklyn had at most some haphazard and crude water sources, unfit to drain the village or dispose of human waste. That changed when side gutters were built and water and sewer systems were installed[9].

The Brooklyn ferry system was also a big leap to morphing Brooklyn from a village into a large, unified, functioning city. Whereas the Fire Department had more to do with helping to establish a unified government, the ferry system had to do with boosting trade and commerce. Before airplanes, steamboats and sails were the only means for trade and communication to countries beyond the seas. So it would make sense Brooklyn obtaining effective and efficient steamboat businesses in the 19th century was essential to its economic growth. 1812 the engineer Robert Fulton and his brother-in-law William Cutting leased the Clement steamboat, which acted as a ferry service between New York City and Paulus Hook, New Jersey. Eventually, they established their own company, Brooklyn Steamboat Ferry Association with a capitol of $68,000, and in 1814 they ran the Nassau, their very own steam ferry[10].

When Henry Stiles, the author of A History of the City of Brooklyn, himself surveyed the now city of Brooklyn to do research, he devoted an entire tour on the waterfront. From Fulton Street straight from the ferry he had enough material to right a book. It’s not hard to see why, as he very well could have written only about ferries and died with inner peace. As he himself noted, by 1814 the Brooklyn Steamboat Ferry Association began a system of ferry corporations, which naturally became a nucleus of business. As Stiles noted in his tour, the waterfront was littered all forms of trade: fish stands, butcheries, groceries, carpenters’ shops, cloth factories, printers, and book binders[11].

A lesser but still significant part of Brooklyn’s development into a city is the establishment of courthouses and jails. A growing legal and prison system helped keep law and order in a growing village. This reflects not only the growing population of the village but also unifying Brooklyn’s judiciary under one standard. In this case, Brooklyn developed many buildings following one code of laws, including trails, persecutions, sentencing, and jailing. Brooklyn’s courthouses and jails develop later in the village’s history, past the 1820s and continuing well into the 1850s. Why this happens is because it takes a lot of manpower to run a legal system, both in the sense of assembling a police force and managing a bureaucracy to keep order.

From the 1820s to the 1850s, Brooklyn’s population exploded, giving it the necessary manpower. In 1826, the village had a population of 9000. By 1830, Brooklyn’s population expenses were over $25,000 (about $547,000 when adjusted for inflation), with $5,292 for people at the waterfront and about $10,000 for people mainland. Around 1828, close to the time Brooklyn officially became a city in 1834, the number of male inhabitants above the age of 18 was about 40,000[12]. Brooklyn’s population burst correlates with Brooklyn’s transformation into a city and with the rise of Brooklyn’s law enforcement and legal institutions.

In 1824, major developments occurred in Brooklyn. The municipal court was established, which had jurisdiction over the New York State, symbolizing Brooklyn’s growing influence and relevance in the rest of the state. In a few decades the village government vastly expanded. In 1829, the Board of Supervisors, representatives of Brooklyn’s nine plus wards, erect courthouses and jails throughout the village (Ostrander 2013). In 1846, the Supervisors made a loan to provide better care for prisoners in the County Jail and, if land was purchased, remove the prisoners from jail and to the new lands. 1849, the city court of Brooklyn was established. In 1854, the Board Supervisors of the Kings wards authorize the building of a new courthouse. [13].

In 1829 the people of Brooklyn recorded an increase in crime rate. Though Ostrander merely records the trend and doesn’t give reasons to it, it is probably because the increase in population and density. Cities are infamous for their high rate of crime, so to have Brooklyn’s crime rate increase is a strong sign it is becoming a city. (Surely enough, it officially became one just five years later.) Brooklyn also has a growth spurt of temperance societies during the 1800s, especially past the 1820s. People were gaining a greater collective moral consciousness, or at least a growing apprehension of crime and vice, and thus the need to prevent and correct it. Unsurprisingly, a lot of churches were also erected around the same time. The growth of a collective cultural, moral, and religious consciousness is significant because it shows that Brooklyn isn’t merely growing economically but also growing culturally.

Culture, Institutions, and Societies

When Johnson recorded his observations of Brooklyn at 1800, Brooklyn had only three schools and one church, but things were about to change very quickly. For the next fifty years Brooklyn would rapidly become a major cultural center, even rivaling New York. Brooklyn grew culturally through several ways, through schools (public and private), churches, societies, and the press through a lesser extent. Just as Brooklyn united its infrastructure, economy, and legal institutions, under one standard it also united its educational and cultural institutions to cultivate its citizens. Brooklyn began to develop a citywide moral consciousness.

Throughout Brooklyn’s history its Board of Education institutionalizes many public schools throughout the land, building a unified standard for education. However, Brooklyn’s’ citizens were the ones who took the initial steps to build public schools in the first place. In 1812, the Loison Seminary, a women’s society, was formed to create the first public school of the 19th century. In 1816, a public meeting was held in the town hall further the Loison Seminary goal. In May of the same year, due to efforts of the Brooklyn Sunday School Union Society, the first Sunday school opened. In 1818 Episcopalians gathered to create a Sunday school of their own[14].

Private schools also opened, albeit later. By 1848, Brooklyn boasted many private schools for both boys and girls. By the time people talked of merging Williamsburg to Brooklyn in 1848, Williamsburg had fifteen private schools of its own. (Williamsburg was a powerful town in its own right, incorporated in 1827 and officiated as a town in 1840.) By 1854, two major universities formed. The Brooklyn Female Academy transformed into the Packer Collegiate Institute for Girls. Meanwhile, the Brooklyn Collegiate and Polytechnic Institute, an academy for boys, was also created[15].

Brooklyn erected churches at similar speed, especially during the 1840s, because Brooklyn by then was urbanized enough, with a large enough population and number of institutions, to take the time and energy to make ecclesiastic monuments. Brooklyn had a moral consciousness unified enough to build large expressions of Protestant faith.  In May 1834, Ebenezer Methodist Episcopal church was formed. In 1842, Emmanuel (Protestant Episcopal) church was consecrated. 1843 was a very busy year of church building. The (Unitarian) Church of the Savior was consecrated. The Episcopal (Protestant Episcopal) church was consecrated. The Church of the Holy Trinity, Eighth Methodist Episcopal, Mariner’s Union Bethel Church were all established. The First Reformed Presbyterian Church cornerstone was laid and Middle Dutch Reformed Church was founded. St. Michael’s Episcopal Church, the First Congressional Methodist, the First Reformed Presbyterian parish, and Protestant Episcopal Parish of St. Peter’s organized[16].

Societies, mostly temperance societies, formed from 1812 to 1843. In 1812, the aforementioned Loisan Seminary of women formed to create the first public school. In 1815, Society to Prevent and Suppress Vice in the Town of Brooklyn forms and publishes under the Long Island Star, the most influential newspaper at the time[17]. In 1830, the Kings County Temperance Society was founded in Flatbush[18]. In December 1841, the Brooklyn Bible Society (auxiliary to the American Bible Society), the Shamrock Benevolent Society, and the Brooklyn Newspaper were established. In 1843 Brooklyn Protestant Benevolent and Library Association and Laborer’s Beneficial Society, and Nicholas Society of Nassau Island, were inaugurated[19].

Judging by the time the churches were all built, I can make a conjecture of their relation to the schools and societies. From the 1810s to about 1840, the first pioneering societies congregated and helped create the first public schools. Arguably, the societies was where the dream for public schools began, and was where the first efforts to do so were carried out. From the 1830s to about 1850, private schools appeared, as did churches and later societies.

Brooklyn shared a deep Protestant religious consciousness like other northeast American towns, founded by Dutch merchants and having the Dutch Reformed Church branded as the official religion by the Dutch West India Company. In spite of its heritage, Brooklyn was still a village at around 1800, and had yet to really form its own independent religious consciousness. At the time its religious consciousness was “informal”. People acted and advocated for what they thought was right without so much regard to social affiliation, because Brooklyn had only a handful amount of private institutions. In 1800, General Johnson wrote that Brooklyn had only one church.

Later, that consciousness became “official” with the building of churches, private schools and later societies. Both churches and private schools reveal a strong association with a private institution. People define themselves more by the factions they belong to. You can even see this trend in the names of earlier societies compared to later societies. Earlier societies, like A Society to Prevent and Suppress Vice in the Town of Brooklyn and Brooklyn Sunday School Union Society, define themselves more through a mission statement. Later societies, like the Brooklyn Protestant Benevolent and Library Association and the St. Nicholas Society of Nassau Island, define themselves by private institution or faction.

Brooklyn was officially declared a city in 1834 by electing its first mayor, George Hall. Coincidentally, 1834 can be seen as a fulcrum between two sides of a scale. The first side is Brooklyn from the 1810s to about 1830. The second side is Brooklyn from the 1830s to about 1850. Once Brooklyn became a city, its building projects and institution founding really took off because becoming a city made gave its government enough cohesion and power to build such projects. Different private institutions, religious sects, and societies had a better chance of getting the government to act in their interests by lobbying it. By 1850, Brooklyn was a city and a major cultural center, with a unified intellectual, moral, and religious consciousness. Schools, churches, and societies in many varieties sprouted quickly in little time, and became consecrated as institutions, stone monuments of Brooklyn culture.

Powerful People With Lofty Dreams

People, not the environment or a natural automatic process, were and still are the builders of Brooklyn’s history, like all histories. Some people made a bigger influence than others in turning Brooklyn into the dynamic city of the 1850s and today. History never owes its making to any one person since even the most grandiose genius is part of a society built on the backs of millions of people, each of them a part of its character in some way or another. However, there are some people whose named are more remembered than others because they succeeding in big agendas that profoundly shaped the society they lived in. People chose to remember the famous for their deeds for reasons that are sometimes just and sometimes aren’t. In either case, Brooklyn did not “naturally” become a city as the end of an inevitable process. Specific people pushed Brooklyn to become a city.

Robert Fulton was a definite player because he built Brooklyn’s ferry system, which was essential to Brooklyn’s growing trade and commerce. Originally, he, alongside his his brother-in-law William Cutting leased the Clement Steamboat in 1812. They established their own company, the Brooklyn Steamboat ferry association, running their first steam ferry, the Nassau, in 1814. As American philosopher and historian John Fiske wrote, the 1810s were a critical period of Brooklyn’s history, with huge commercial manifestations. Unfortunately, Fulton died in 1815, only 49. He did, however, leave a large legacy behind him as one of Brooklyn’s waterfront architects.

Colonel Alden Spooner was another important figure, publishing the Brooklyn Evening Star, one the most influential during its heyday alongside the Long Island Star. In 1814, Diana Rapalja, an influential heiress from an old family who was politically active, died. Spooner later purchased her property, using it both as a living space and the printing office for the Brooklyn Evening Star, publishing the first issue in 1824[20]. In May of the same year, Spooner proposed to publish a new issue twice a week, which included a census of the number of houses in Brooklyn so far (totaling 1025) and a prospectus for the Brooklyn village. “The great increase of the population and business of Brooklyn, call for corresponding changes in the various establishments which contribute to our interest and our enjoyments.”

His requests did not fall on deaf ears. The village authorities took greater care in areas pertaining to the village’s health, appearance, and welfare by removing health hazards and cleaning the streets. The Trustees passed laws regulating the cleaning of Fulton, Main, Front, Water, and Doughy streets. Spooner soon printed an issue of the Star, explaining that a cart would pass by the streets every Wednesday morning and Saturday morning. When they rung a bell, it would tell people it was time to give them kitchen garbage for them to collect. The Trustees especially requested that people sprinkle the pavement in front of their houses immediately before sweeping[21].

Spooner did not keep his influence restricted to the Brooklyn Evening Star. In 1824, he published the third directory of Brooklyn at the office of the Long Island Star. It contained 1,329 names, 122 more names than in the last directory in 1823. Furthermore, Spooner’s leadership with the press earned him his fair share of political power. Years later, in March 1857, Spooner and was appointed as one of three commissioners by Brooklyn’s legislatures, tasked with mediating financial disputes between the city of Brooklyn and the city of Williamsburg[22].

George Hall, a former military captain, was elected as the first mayor of Brooklyn when Brooklyn became a city in 1834. Previously, he served as a Trustee of the third ward of Brooklyn from 1826 to 1832, and was elected as president of the village at 1833. In 1854, Hall was a mayor candidate of the Know-Nothing Party. Though his opponents tried to use his Irish descent to prove he wasn’t born in America, Hall refuted the accusations. He won the election, becoming the first mayor of the unified city of Brooklyn and Williamsburg[23].

While George Hall claimed many firsts in elections and was the first leader to steer a newly unified city, Jonathan Trotter, a fellow honorary and colleague of George Hall, is better remembered for implementing specific policies. Trotter was elected mayor in 1835 and re-elected in 1836. While he was mayor, he laid the cornerstone of City Hall in April 1836, which was originally the Apprentices’ Library. He opened Myrtle Avenue and made arranged to open up outlying portions of the city. After his election, he unfortunately lost a lot of his wealth in a financial crisis. In 1840, he moved to New York, and while he lived well, he never exerted as much business and political power as he used to (Stiles 1870)[24].

Other famous people clutter Brooklyn’s history, who all shaped the village turned city in their own unique ways. However, Robert Fulton, Alden Spooner, George Hall, and Jonathan Trotter were arguably the most crucial figures from 1800 to 1850. Fulton boosted Brooklyn’s trade at the waterfront, Spooner directed the press and used it to influence policies to an extraordinary degree, Hall held the office of mayor twice for the city Brooklyn and was a decent leader, and Trotter founded City Hall. All the aforementioned people advanced Brooklyn either economically or politically, building its wealth, institutions, and infrastructure.

The people who willfully forged Brooklyn’s history did so by paving a path of many directions, not merely one. Brooklyn’s development, on the whole, was star shaped. Brooklyn became a city by flourishing in many different directions, not by following a straight and narrow path. This is ironic, considering the 19th century industrial idea of progress as a ladder to an ever better future. Even though we, who have the advantage of hindsight, may think of progress differently, it is not too farfetched that 19th century Brooklyn citizens believed in ideal of linear progress.


Ostrander, Stephen M. History of the City of Brooklyn and Kings County Vol. 2. Edited, with Introduction and Notes, by A. Black. S.l.: Theclassics Us, 2013. Print.

Records of the Department, comp. Our Firemen: The Official History of the Brooklyn Fire Department, from the First Volunteer to the Latest Appointee. Compiled from the Records of the Department. Brooklyn, NY: n.p., 1892. Print.

Stiles, Henry Reed. A History of the City of Brooklyn including the Old Town and Village of Brooklyn, the Town of Bushwick, and the Village and City of Williamsburgh. Vol. 1, 2, and 3. Brooklyn: Pub. by Subscription, 1867. Print.

The Charter of the City of Brooklyn: And the Laws of the State of New York Relating Particularly to Said City: Together with the Ordinances Thereof: To Which Is Added an Appendix Containing the Old Charters, Statistical Information, &c. Brooklyn: Henry A. Lees, 1846. Print.

[1] Stiles, Henry Reed. A History of the City of Brooklyn including the Old Town and Village of Brooklyn, the Town of Bushwick, and the Village and City of Williamsburgh. Vol. 1. Brooklyn: Pub. by Subscription, 1867. 380, 381.

[2] Stiles, Vol. 1. 382-385

[3] Stiles, Vol. 1. 383, 384, 385

[4] Stiles, Vol. 1. 384

[5] Records of the Department. Our Firemen: The Official History of the Brooklyn Fire Department, from the First Volunteer to the Latest Appointee. Brooklyn, New York, 1892. Pg. 28, 29.

[6] Stiles, Henry Reed. A History of the City of Brooklyn including the Old Town and Village of Brooklyn, the Town of Bushwick, and the Village and City of Williamsburgh. Vol. 2 Brooklyn: Pub. by Subscription, 1867. 223-227.

[7] York, N.Y. The Charter of the City of Brooklyn and the Laws of the State of New York Relating Particularly to Said City Together with the Ordinances Thereof : To Which Is Added an Appendix Containing the Old Charters, Statistical Information, &c. Brooklyn N.Y.: I. Van Anden, 1846. 118.

[8] Our Firemen, 24, 26, 27

[9] Stiles, Vol. 2. 223-227.

[10] Ostrander, Stephen M., and Alexander BLACK. A History of the City of Brooklyn and Kings County. Vol 2. … Edited, with Introduction and Notes, by A. Black. Brooklyn: Privately Published, 1894. 57-60.

[11] Stiles, Vol. 2. 38.

[12] Stiles, Vol. 2. 201, 234, 236

[13] Ostrander, 74, 95, 96, 97

[14] Stiles, Vol. 2. 11-13, 14, 18, 27

[15] Ostrander, 100, 104, 212

[16] Stiles, Vol. 2. 261, 265, 275, 278, 280

[17] Stiles, Vol. 2. 13

[18] Ostrander, 68

[19] Stiles, Vol. 2. 265, 275

[20] Stiles, Vol. 2. 61-63

[21] Stiles, Vol. 2.  108

[22] Stiles, Vol. 2. 220, 428

[23] Stiles, Vol. 2. 244

[24] Stiles, Vol. 2 250