Yugioh Endgame: Duel 18 – Ice and Dice, Knives and Lives

Sofia: 3400 || Pandora: 4400

Pandora shrieks as the buzzsaw creeps nearer to his ankles, randomly waving his arms like he is a tube man. The audience of Ghouls points to their leader and gleefully boo at him, chucking tomatoes (they brought just for this purpose) his way. 

“Your magic show sucks worse than Penn and Teller’s!” Yells a Ghoul. “I’ve seen better street artists in New Orleans!” Balks another. “Go back to molesting kids in Neverland, you Michael Jackson-voiced loser!” Hisses a third.

Truly loyal comrades, as Sofia observes. They remind her a bit of the hyenas in The Lion King. They even have a campy, effeminate leader. Now for some lime green smoke and – BOOM! Green smoke bursts into the air and the bright stage lights waver, beaming all the colors of the rainbow. The Ghouls balk in mad laughter at their idiot master.  

Pandora shrieks at random people in the audience, “Clarence, I need technical support! Get your black-cowled a$$ here and help with the lights!” The green smoke and technicolor lights suddenly cease but the Ghouls keep having a good time. 

PANDORA’S TURN: “Ahem! After I was so rudely interrupted, let’s continue the show. I resume Pandora’s Great Escape! And I start by banishing the Galaxy Cyclone (Spell) in my Graveyard to destroy Egg Legacy.” Sofia’s card dissolves into dust and gets scattered by cosmic wind. 

“I activate Graceful Charity (Spell): I draw 3 and discard 2. I further augment my hand with Dark Magic Circle (Continuous Spell) to add a special card from my Deck to my hand.” 

“Is it a surprise tool that will help you later?” Sofia says in a deadpan tone.

“Not in this clubhouse!” Pandora affirms with enthusiasm. “I’m using it right now: Dark Magic Curtain (Spell)! I pay half my Life so my next Dark Magician (ATK 2500) can make his great entrance!” A skeleton animated by dark magic appears to draw back the curtain behind Pandora and – ta da! – a new wizard appears! (Pandora LP 4400 → 2200)

“But I’m not done yet. Here, watch your monster disappear!” Pandora’s magician conjures a dark magic circle around Sofia’s powerful raptor, transporting it to the Banished Zone. “Dark Magician, strike her directly!” Pandora shrieks. Sofia gets struck by sudden pain all over her body, like she is dying of poison, but it vanishes as suddenly as it appears. (Sofia LP 3400 → 900)

“That should do for now. I set a card and end my turn.” Pandora concludes with satisfaction. 

Sofia’s spirit – or is it her stomach? – falls to the ground. She will lose her feet and Maya abandon her out of disappointment! – Wait. Does she find Maya being disappointed scarier than bleeding to death on the floor of a degenerate’s basement. Strange world.

Sofia laughs in amusement and terror at the irony, clasping her shoulders with her hands. When she fell down, Maya and Yukio helped her get back up almost every time. But this duel is like the two times she faced Bandit Keith. She will have to magically conjure the strength inside herself, anything to get this nightmare of a duel over with. 

SOFIA’S TURN: “I activate Egger Planter (Spell)! I banish the 2 facedown cards I stole from you to draw 2 cards. I play Soul Absorption (Continuous Spell) and I activate Miscelleaneosaurus from my Graveyard; I banish 4 Dinosaurs from my Graveyard to Special Summon Tyranno Infinity (ATK 7000)!” The Ghouls cheer at seeing such a small but powerful monster, jumping as if dynamite is blowing them into the sky. Things are getting interesting!

As a matter of formality, Giant Rex returns to the field stronger than ever (ATK 2000 → 3200) and Soul Absorption heals Sofia. (LP 900 → 2900).   

“Tyranno Infinity, destroy Dark Magician!” Sofia commands, too eager to win the Duel.

Pandora balks at her audacity. “How naive to think you could defeat me, the master of magicians! I activate Magician’s Selection (Trap)!” The Dark Magician instantly forces the other dinosaur to appear in front of him as a meat shield, blocking the attack of Tyranno Infinity.

“Oh no…” Sofia whispers, not because her attack failed but because she could have played a Spell, but didn’t. I-I set two cards and end my turn.” Sofia stammers, covering her mistake as much as she can.

PANDORA’S TURN: The illusionist Pandora is not the greatest duelist but he is no idiot. He can read people like any good performer can, and he knows Sofia made a mistake. Now, he astutely judges, it is time to punish her for it, but he does have some respect for her. He claps in applause. “Wonderful! A fierce exchange, the kind of suspense I adore in a magic show.”

The clapping suddenly stops and the man becomes dead serious. “But you have little time to celebrate. Not with my next move: Card of Sanctity (Spell)!” Both players draw until they have 6 cards in their hand, Sofia groaning. Nothing good ever comes from this.

“I activate Thousand Knives (Spell)! I target Tyranno Infinity for destruction!” The Dark Magician casts a spell, throwing a rainstorm of kitchen knives at the monster.

Sofia quickly reacts, “I dodge the attack with Super Polymerization! Tyranno Infinity and Dark Magician fuse together to -” 

“I play Illusion Magic (Quick-play Spell)” Pandora counters with deft speed. The second Dark Magician to enter the Duel vanishes from the field. Pandora adds his third and last Dark Magician from the Deck to his hand. With no second target, the Super Polymerization card disappears, but the thousand knives do not. Before long, Tyranno Infinity gets butchered.

Pandora can see Sofia’s error at last. Had she played Super Polymerization last turn, she would have won the duel. Ah, what relief! 

“I discard the Dark Magician in my hand to Special Summon Illusion Apprentice Magician (ATK 2000)!” A long-haired variant of the Dark Magician Girl comes into play. “I activate Silent Doom to revive Dark Magician (DEF 2100), then activate Dedication Through Light and Darkness (Quick-play Spell) to sacrifice him to Special Summon Dark Magician of Chaos (ATK 2800) from the Deck!” At the end of this process, Pandora arrives to controlling a wizard with long black hair and tight black leather.

“My new magician isn’t just kinky, he has a powerful Effect.” Pandora assures his opponent. “I retrieve Card of Sanctity from my Graveyard and – guess what – I activate it! I refill my hand and we ride the merry-go-round once again, except this merry-go-round is covered with your blood! Don’t you think that’s fun?”

Sofia coldly retorts, “I think you need to direct the next Saw movie.”

Pandora replies, “I’ll look into it. I activate Monster Reborn (Spell) to revive Dark Magician (ATK 2500) again and activate Bond Between Teacher and Student (Spell). I Special Summon Dark Magician Girl (ATK 2300) and Set a card relevant to them from my Deck.” Master and apprentice reunite as a powerful duo and a new card appears in the back row. “Now here’s a real surprise tool that will help me later. I promise you that.”

“I doubt it. Only a fool takes the word of a criminal.” Sofia comments.

Pandora sheds a crocodile tear. “How can a woman be so young and pretty but be so cruel? You hurt my feelings.”

“I imagine it comes with the package.” Sofia postulates with a certain satisfaction. “Beauty with cruelty is not a bug but a feature in the system.” She thinks about how her friends will react to such a cynical but cliche remark. Jolene will chastise her for “internalized misogyny”. Maya will pretend to laugh like Homer Simpson, chuckling, “It’s funny ‘cause it’s true.”  

Pandora chortles, “Spoken like a true realist from my birthplace. Why, you could’ve strolled through Paris with dapper shoes for all I know, but something tells me you’re not that type. Paying 1000 Life, I activate Dark Magic Veil (Spell) to Special Summon Magician of Dark Illusion (ATK 2100) from my hand!” Dark mist gathers to form the shadowy and spectral version of the Dark Magician. (Pandora LP 2200 → 1200) 

“My magicians are here; they are at your service, but not for long. I activate Quintet Force (Spell)! The magicians will be gone to form a new spellcaster unlike any you have ever seen but so will all your cards.” Pandora’s monsters cross their scepter’s together, gathering the energy needed for a powerful spell. The game’s end is nigh.

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Yugioh Endgame: Duel 17 – Dino County

Sofia wakes up with a start in pitch darkness. Her wrists and ankles hurt from being bound tightly by what feels like cold metal but, when she tries moving her limbs to free them, she discovers she cannot, no matter how hard she tries. How does she end up getting kidnapped!? Who do people think she is!? Mokuba!?

The lights come on, their sudden ignition burning Sofia’s eyes so badly she might as well look directly at the sun. Her eyes adjust, letting her see the dungeon around her through the black and blue spots blotting her vision. It looks like she is on a small wooden stage, except another stage faces her across a black pit housing a large audience of sinister men in black cowls.

Really weird and off-putting. Maybe people think Sofia is Daphne from Scooby Doo. The thought makes her so embarrassed she struggles to free herself from the chains even more, but cannot, making her wrists and ankles burn sore. 

And there, across the audience on the opposing stage, arrives a man in a dazzling white suit and hat, his face covered by a wide striped mask. He announces in a quite rather high pitched for a man, “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, respectables and reprobates, muggles and magicians, cops and Crips, transexuals and transgenders, lawyers, doofuses and do-gooders, goodie-two-shoes and Ghouls, I present you the most exciting magic show this century! I introduce your leader, the one and only Pandora, the Great Archmage, Leader of the Ghouls!” 

The Ghouls cheer wildly with arms out, expecting presents like they are at a Mardi Gras parade and, surely, Pandora throws candy and beads at the cheering mob. “And you are?” Pandora commands a microphone, as if by magic, to hover towards Sofia’s mouth. 

The shocked woman blurts out a demand, too annoyed to care, “Cut the crap and duel me! Let me guess, you want to play a card game deathmatch. If I win, you let me go. If you win, I get sent to the Shadow Realm or the Chaos Realm or Happy Land or whatever. Just let us duel already!”

“How rude!” Pandora scoffs, and his audience follows suit, jeering at Sofia. “Before you die by my hands, would you at least like to know who your killer is and why he kills you?”

“I want to know why you have a girl’s name.” Sofia answers. “Otherwise, no. Not really.”

“What a bummer. I’ll tell you anyway.” Pandora insists.

“Please, no. Don’t torture me with your backstory. I don’t need an exposition to this chapter. Whatever you do, don’t sing, especially in an improv-”

Pandora proceeds to narrate in song:

I woke up, in darkness,
My mind triggered, by an evil master, through black magic,
To take a little rope, a hefty stool, and with some gumption
Go hang myself. Oh, how tragic! 

Sofia has enough. “I get it. It’s a metaphor for depression. It’s deep. Just stop.”

“Fine… fine.. Jack of Spades!” Pandora mumbles as he conjures a pair of buzzsaws, one on his stage, the other on Sofia’s, then makes them vanish, then makes them appear again. “Now you see them. Now you don’t. Now you see them. Now you don’t. – Just kidding.” The buzzsaws begin whirring, here to stay. “Need to know the rules?” 

The magician unshackles Sofia’s wrists while buckling his ankles with chains. He tosses a duel disk at the opposite stage, barely missing Sofia’s head since he has never been good at sports. Sofia straps the contraption to her right wrist and the game begins.

SOPHIA: 8000 || PANDORA: 8000  

SOPHIA’S TURN: “I Normal Summon Beatraptor (ATK 1400) And I set two in the back row!” She conjures a bird-like dinosaur with bright yellow aplomb, as well as two facedown cards behind it.

PANDORA’S TURN: “I activate Galaxy Cyclone (Spell) and I target the card on my left!” A storm of stardust blusters through one of Sofia’s cards, puncturing it. “Seems I destroyed the card There Can Be Only One. Almost all my monsters are one Type. How woefully unprepared you are!

“I proceed to attack. I Normal Summon Makyura – the Destroyer (ATK 1600)!” A black-clad executioner brandishes its massive claws, the sole yellow eye on its head glowing with malicious intent. “Turn the dinosaur into chicken meat!” The butcher lunges for the kill.

Sofia objects, “I refute your attack with Egg Legacy (Continuous Trap)!” She banishes a Dinosaur from her Deck, causing a large spotted egg to eject out of the card and crash into the assailant (ATK 1600 → 800). “Beatraptor, counterattack!” Her monster slashes the executioner with its hind legs, inflicting it with a fatal wound. (Pandora LP 8000 → 7400)

“Not bad.” Pandora compliments his opponent. “But your trap is so basic it might as well wear ugg boots.”

“Oh no you didn’t.” Sofia growls.

“Oh yes I did! You did me a great service by sending Makyura to the Graveyard, and you shouldn’t have. I am the entertainer. I provide the service. So I will return the favor by using Makyura’s Effect to activate Eternal Soul (Continuous Trap) and Magician’s Navigation (Trap)!”

Sofia braces herself. Here comes the big guns. Pandora is a feared Dark Magician user, one who even gave Yugi a run for his money back in the day. Now the man can flood the field with his ace monsters.

Pandora declares, “With Magician’s Navigation, I Special Summon Dark Magician (ATK 2500) from my hand and Dark Magician Girl (ATK 2000) from my Deck! With Eternal Soul, I’ll add a Dark Magician from my Deck to my hand. That being said, come forth my loyal servants!” Master and apprentice arrive together for the game, both monsters wearing dark green robes, a different version from the usual iconic purple color.

“Beatraptor works wonders against degenerates who abuse the Extra Deck. But they’re street magicians compared to David Blane, and like him I’m a classic who can fly. Dark Magician Girl, attack with Dark Burning!” The female magician turns Sofia’s monster into fried chicken. (Sofia LP 8000 → 7400) 

“I activate Beatraptor. Since it died by battle, I Special Summon another Beatraptor (DEF 2000) from my Deck!” Another dinosaur leaps into play as if from the curtain behind the stage. 

“Very well. Dark Magician, destroy Beatraptor! Dark Magic!” Pandora commands. His ace monster transforms the raptor to glass and shatters it.

“I use its Effect to Special Summon the final Beatraptor (DEF 2000) from my Deck.” Sofia states, playing her monster.

Pandora ends his turn with a facedown card, confident he has a solid board. After all, if Sofia ever tries to erase Eternal Soul, his weak point, he can easily negate the Card Effect.”  

SOFIA’S TURN: “Egg Legacy activates during my Standby Phase; I add the Dinosaur monster I banished to my hand. For my Main Phase, I Normal Summon Giant Rex (ATK 2000)!” The misnamed monster – really a large spinosaurus – graces the field with a loud stamping of its feet. “I network Giant Rex and Beatraptor to Link Summon N. Raptor MaXVI – Galapagos (ATK 2200)!” The two dinosaurs evaporate into two link markers bordering a futuristic portal, out of which emerges a silly silly with spots all over its body and a shell on its back.

What a strange new monster! The audience of criminals oohs and ahs as if it is made of babies. Pandora smirks in amusement. Well, this is new.

“I activate Cosmic Cyclone (Spell)! I pay 1000 Life to destroy Eternal Soul (Sofia LP 7400 → 6400)!” Sofia declares, making her own whirling storm of stardust.  

Pandora scoffs at her novice tactic. “How predictable. I banish Magician’s Navigation from the Graveyard to negate your Spell!”

Sofia happily snaps her fingers. “What I was waiting for! Now it’s time for my magic act. I activate Galapagos!” The odd raptor catches Pandora’s card with its tongue and swallows it, not unlike how a frog eats a fly, and pops an egg on Sofia’s back row.

“What in the name of Houdini’s handcuffs did I just see!?” Pandora shouts in a panic, flabbergasted.

“Hey, I thought you were the magician here.” Sofia says with a smirk. “Very well. I’ll reveal the trick. Galapagos can negate a card and store it facedown on my back row for use in the future. “Now Cosmic Cyclone gets to resolve! Your Eternal Soul card is banished!” The whirlwind of spacedust erodes the stone slab on Pandora’s field. Both magicians, master and apprentice, vanish.    

Pandora starts panicking, his greasy face profuse with sweat. “Oh no! Oh no no no no no no no no!”

“I use the second Effect of Galapagos. I banish the egg – your facedown card on my field – and four Dinosaurs in my Graveyard to Special Summon two Dinosaurs from my Deck: Souleating Oviraptor (ATK 1800) and N. Raptor Apostlesaur (ATK 300)!” The egg violently breaks open, a ghastly dinosaur and a primitive reptile popping out. “I activate both monsters. With Oviraptor, I mill a Dinosaur. With Apostlesaur, I add a Ritual Monster and Ritual Spell from the Deck to my hand.”

In addition, since Giant Rex is banished, it reappears on the field and with more power (ATK 2000 → 2600). Sofia commences the right. “I activate Prime Origin Offering (Ritual Spell)! I can tribute Apostlesaur as the only sacrifice to Ritual Summon N. Raptor MaXII – Madagascar!” Apostlesaur falls into an altar resembling a volcano, which erupts with flames that form into a mighty spotted raptor.

A member of the audience cannot help but call out, “Wait, doesn’t Prime Origin Offering spell “poo” as an acronym?” The Ghouls burst into laughter.

Sofia blushes crimson. “Yes, yes it does.” She seethes defensively. “Real mature for a ruthless criminal organization.” 

“Madagascar’s Effect activates.” Sofia speaks to Pandora. “I seize three cards from your Graveyard and put them facedown on my field.” The new dinosaur swallows the three cards and lays them as eggs on Sofia’s back row. “Madagascar, give Pandora a bite more than he can chew! Attack him directly!” The raptor leaps in for the kill.

“You fool! I still have a card facedown!” Pandora rebukes her. “I activate Dark Vanishing Act (Trap)! You destroyed by Dark Magician, so I destroy your monster!” A specter of Pandora’s ace monster apparates to kill the raptor with a deadly spell. In addition, Sofia suffers damage equal to her monster’s ATK. (Sofia LP 6400 → 3400)

The frightful buzzsaw edges its way closer to Sofia’s ankles. Sofia feels her heart pounding hard in her chest. Trying her best to fight her rising anxiety, she says, “Madagascar activates in the Graveyard. I can banish one of its facedown cards to revive it. Return, Madagascar!” One of the eggs shatters, and Sofia’s monster is reborn. “Continue your attack!” This time, the raptor’s hunt is a success. It slashes Pandora across the waist, returning balance between the two duelists. (Pandora LP 7400 → 4400)     

I Need a Life – Part One

I’m fond of making Decks for my characters. If a Duelists of the Roses version of the Yugioh game was invented, these are the decks Maya, Yukio, and Sofia would use respectively.

Fell Dragons
Deck Master: Red-Eyes Black Dragon
Deck Cost: 752

Monsters:
3x Red-Eyes Black Dragon
3x Summoned Skull
3x Yamatano Dragon Scroll 
3x Petit Dragon
2x Canon Soldier
2x Time Wizard
2x Witch’s Apprentice 
2x Kuriboh 

Normal Spells:
2x Mountain

Equip Spells:
3x Dragon Treasure
3x Nails of Bane
3x Horn of the Unicorn 
3x Dark Energy

Traps:
3x Mesmeric Control
3x Tears of the Mermaid

Maya resorts to fusing B. Skull Dragon and powering it up with many Equip Spells, often with ATK topping 4000 and even 5000. The fusion materials, Red-Eyes Black Dragon and Summoned Skull, are very powerful in their own right, especially when with many equips, easily topping 3000 ATK and even 4000 ATK at times. 

Thousand Dragon is a lesser fusion monster, but still quite powerful. Even the weak fusions, Blackland Fire Dragon and Koumori Dragon, can cause trouble when powered up with Equip Spells. Metal Dragon is a decent monster and a good combatant in Wasteland Terrain, which many Yorkists reside in. 

The fusion materials have their functions: Cannon Soldier can break through Jasper Tudor’s Labyrinth Terrain fortress, Yamatano can transform into Yamadron to remove Terrain that gives the opponent an advantage, and Kuriboh makes a good scout since you get no damage from it. 

Zombie Apocalypse 
Deck Master: Patrician of Darkness
Deck Cost: 755

Monsters:
3x Patrician of Darkness
3x Shadow Ghoul
3x Dragon Zombie
3x Armored Zombie
3x Mammoth Graveyard
3x Rainbow Flower
3x Griggle
2x Curse of Dragon

Normal Spells:
2x Wasteland

Equip Spells:
3x Violet Crystal
3x Dark Energy
3x Megamorph

Traps:
3x Mesmeric Control
3x Tears of the Mermaid

Yukio relies less on Pumpking the King of Ghosts to power up weaker Zombie monsters, instead strengthening Great Mammoth of Goldfine, Patrician of Darkness, Skelegon, and Shadow Ghoul through Equip Spells. This makes the Deck faster, more consistent, and less reliant on setup, though it can still make a couple of Pumpkings to easily power up monsters to over 4000 ATK. In addition, Shadow Ghoul can cross Labyrinth Terrain. 

Fairy Queen
Deck Master: Dark Witch 
Deck Cost: 755

Monsters:
3x Dark Witch
3x Maha Vailo
3x Fairy’s Gift
3x Wing Egg Elf
3x Dancing Elf
3x Curtain of the Dark Ones
2x Barrel Rock

Normal Spells:
2x Mountain

Equip Spells:
3x Bright Castle
3x Elf’s Light
2x Electro-Whip
2x Cyber Shield 
2x Malevolent Nuzzler 

Traps:
3x Mesmeric Control
3x Tears of the Mermaid

Sofia relies on churning out Dark Witch and Mystical Elf with many Equip Spells. Summoning many Mystical Elfs can power up all LIGHT monsters to an enormous amount, topping 4000 ATK and even 5000 ATK on a regular basis. Dark Elf is a powerful ally despite being a creature of the night since she has stronger base ATK.

Maha Vailo is best when in face-up Defense Position since he makes Equip Spells even more potent. Barrel Rock can blast through Labyrinth Terrain can fuse into Mystical Sand when taking advantage of Wasteland Terrain is needed. 

Yugioh Endgame: Duel 16 – Serpents Thrive, Fear Remains Alive

The Valley of the Kings burns under the heat of the midday sun, so hot and dry Hassan Mubarak nearly has his backside burn and fuse with the seat of his army jeep. The current Egyptian President cannot find much romantic mystery in the desert he governs. The bright light above him seems to disinfect everything to the point of making the land sterile, like it broke through every tomb and burned all the mummies and ancient relics to ash. If the past, with its remains of an old world, are a kind of vampire sucking the life of the living – then the vampire should die? He has the weirdest deja vu right now for some reason.

Hassan sees a merciful large white tend and unsticks himself from the seat with his advisor, Simon Al-Mufti. He sees two familiar woman as he enters the tent, the first garnished in white clothes and large sunglasses, and the second in old blue jeans and a flat cap. Simon scratches his head in visible confusion.

“Why are you dressed like a discount Kim Kardashian?” Hassan addresses the woman in white.

“One: it’s hot. Two: I’m hot.” Maya quips in a facetious manner. 

“Fascinating.” Hassan remarks as he takes a seat near the two women. Knowing who they are and having their goals in mind, he can make an educated guess on what they’re after. “I’m assuming you want my help in taking out a high mage, perhaps Anubisius since he rules over the Middle East. I don’t know if I can do it for reasons you should know.”

Maya nods, admitting the fact, and gives her modest proposal. “I’m aware of the messy relationships in the Middle East. It’s like a love dodecahedron. America-sempai loves Israel-chan and Saudi Arabia-chan. The two are frenemies; Israel-kun has a decent friendship with Egypt-kun as of late but Saudia Arabia-kun has soured feelings for Egypt-kun for reasons more tedious than card games. TL;DR Egypt-kun has declined, become dependant on foreign support, and won’t give land Saudia Arabia-kun feels entitled to.” 

“You don’t need to explain it to me. If your complexion was lighter than mine I’d accuse you of white-splaining.” Hassan reminds her. “Egypt is so weak already I would rather die than make another humiliating concession.” 

“It’s not for you but for the audience. Not everyone knows. And,” Maya adds. “Turn that frown upside down. You can beat Anubisius and level the playing field. – By the way, Kim Kardashian was delicious. Maybe she lives in me to some extent.”  

Hassan is incredulous, but a part of him remains hopeful. Subtly reminded that Maya has superhuman powers, he still must test Maya to see if his hope can manifest into something real or if it is merely a cruel trick. “Let me take you and your prodigy on a tour of this ancient land free of charge. I would rather show my argument than tell it.”

He takes his guests beyond the Valley of the Kings, following a large truck heading on its way from Cairo to a nearby village by the Nile, now grown into a refugee camp. It is only one of many along the river bank, each giving asylum to about a thousand people. It is a very different place than what Maya and Sofia remembered from three years earlier: very crowded and dirty, crafted brick houses overshadowed by a large patchwork of makeshift tents, the river cluttered with waste.

The truck stops and the drivers unload crates containing water, toiletries, canned food, used clothes, frozen vegetables, and emergency aid kits, with Hassan directing a team of his army on how to distribute the crates and to whom. The party sees an old woman trying her best to wash her clothes in the Nile. Men on a nearby farm are forced to bury a large pile of human waste in the soil, trying to make the best use by making it fertilizer. Maya, always sensitive to smells, covers her face. Sofia, whose smelling is even more acute, gets watery eyes.  

Hassan gestures to the tent city-village. “Our world is like a pyramid now. Anubisius builds new palaces in Saudi Arabia, Momentum giving him all the energy he needs. The surrounding states are not so lucky. I depend on Saudia Arabia to keep my nation’s cities floating while I do what I can to help my unhappy people. How can I muster the strength to help you. Even your strength has limits.”     

Sofia tugs at Maya’s sleeve as if her teacher is her mother too. “Promise me that we will see the people in the tent city. We must know the faces of the people we are fighting for. We cannot have a revolution with an abstract mass like ‘the proletariat’.”

Maya nods sagaciously, then says, “You are so much wiser and stronger than me, Sofia. If only you believed it.”

As the women were about to go, Hassan asks Maya, “Why dress as Kim Kardashian in a place like this? You don’t look like a hero of the common man at all. Honestly, you look like a jerk.” 

“That’s the point. I am not. Look at me, Hassan.” Maya grabs his shoulders, looking him in the eye. “I am a black magician who sold my soul to the Devil to gain my powers. I can transform into a dragon and do other dark arts. I do all the good I can but only so much can be achieved through evil means. I have so much blood on my hands the Nile would fail to wash it away; it would merely turn my claws from red to green.”

She puts Hassan’s hand on Sofia’s shoulder. “I will help you create a new world but it is not a world where I will be welcome. Having me as a leader would be demeaning to the people of this planet. Worthy people like you two are the ones who must lead the people to make a better world.” 

Hassan’s suspicions remain. “Love for ‘the proletariat’ doesn’t drive you. Hatred of the ruling class does. If you truly served the people, you would act differently. A person like you, with your immense power, will always make me wary. Maybe there are things you’re not telling me. Well, Maya?”

“You can squint at me hoping to find a hidden agenda all you want, but you must take me for my word if you want Anubisius’ head on your wall.” Maya says. “I will tell you now that I have no secrets.”

With that finished, the three of them go through the tent city. They watch several children play with a ragged soccer ball nearby. A lone man on a small boat struggles to fish. A husband, wife, girl, and scabby little boy eat small portions of lunch in a tent. The 1 liter water bottle beside them is their only ration for hydration. The family beckons Maya and Sofia to come share in some of the lunch, much to their surprise. The two women refuse to eat, daring not to waste the family’s precious food, until the wife pressures them into taking a bite. Even then, they take only a small nibble.

Husband and wife try to have a conversation with Maya and Sofia – even the little girl joins in – but the two women cannot reply since they don’t know how to speak Masry. That Masry was the maiden name of Maya’s mother; that coincidence does not escape her attention. Hassan, kneeling from outside the tent, explains Maya: “They used to own a shop in Cairo before being forced out here. The daughter once went to a private school and wants nothing more than to go back there. The son has a skin rash because of the poor sanitation.”   

Sofia nudged Maya on shoulder. “You don’t know the names of any displaced person but you know the names of the high mages you’re about to kill. Don’t you think that’s funny?”

“A delicious irony in this tragicomedy.” Maya says.

Sofia clarifies it is not what she means by “funny”. Maya replies, “I understand, but you don’t either. This is exactly why I said I was unworthy. I’m not really a fighter for the people. We’re really third party allies who cut off the heads of the monster tormenting them. It is up to them – as it should be – to build fair and just societies. But – and you really must understand this, Sofia – we ultimately serve a different agenda.”

The husband asks Hassan what Maya just said. Hassan, being tactful, simply tells them they are the warriors who defeated one of the high mages. Sofia asks him the names of the family members. Hassan tells her: the husband is Malik, the woman is Turas, the girl is Najima, the boy is Waleed. He orders a soldier to give him a crate. Hassan, Maya, and Sofia take out all the contents and give it to the family, who dearly thanks them for the medicine therein. Turas kisses the three of them and Malik shakes their hands. Najima and Waleed wave goodbye. 

The name of the husband gives Maya an idea, so it sets her thinking. The party of three stops at a far less wholesome sigh. A wasted man with a patchy beard injects a drug in his vein with a needle, resting his back against a rock. Maya says, “Not to have a Dora the Explorer moment, Sofia, but do YOU know where the man’s heroin comes from?”

Plantaciones de amapola en Afganistán. Poppy Plantations in Afghanistan.” Sofia says with no enthusiasm.”

“And do YOU know who owns private plantations in Afghanistan but spends most of his time elsewhere?” Maya prods further.

Sofia does not bother to speak, the answer being so obvious. Hassan speaks for her instead. “If we are going to attack Anubisius, we need more forces. Egypt’s army is not enough.”

And he is right, as Maya admits. They need a cohesive network of fighters. But who? Maya and Sofia part ways with Hassan, setting out to camp near the tent city. Maya creates a fire to warm up some tea while Sofia plays with sticks on the sand, getting promptly hit on the head with a ball from one of the children. Sofia tells the children they should be with their parents, but they do not understand her, so she throws the ball far away at the tents, the children running after it.

“This is a Yugioh fanfic, by the way.” Sofia reminds Maya and the audience. “When are we going to duel? People are getting bored. Political commentary is boring.”

“Be good and I’ll get you a duel. If you’re bad, I’ll publish a socialist manifesto and make everyone read it.” Maya says while looking at the flames as they fly above the campfire into the starry sky.

Sofia closes the tent and goes to sleep, Maya soon following her.  

Yugioh Endgame: Duel 15 – Everybody Wants Poppy

Anubisius cannot help but pace restlessly in his vacation manor, occupied with the defeat of Secmeton from several months ago, stopping every once in a while to glance at the rich purple fields surrounding him. What if he is next? The poppy plantation his manor oversees in the Goston valley, more specifically the wealth it represents, gives him small comfort. He tightly clutches the Millennium Key hanging round his neck as if asking the artifact to protect him with its magic. 

But the poor wealthy man need not brood alone. A large helicopter blows over the poppy field, out of which steps out Pegasus. Yifan arrives on horseback wearing a cream pink skirt, looking like a little princess, which makes Anubisius scoff, while Kepura arrives in a black limousine. Anubisius puts on the bravest face he can as he goes out to greet the guests, inviting them to his palace. He calls on servants to set up small round table and soon thereafter everyone sits down to have a tea party. 

Yifan notices the anxiety of her host as it shows on his features: his face long and sullen, his skin wan, his long arms stiff as wood, and his speech correct and terse as the Queen’s English. She cautiously sips the rose tea, sticking her pinkie out in jest. “Why so British?”

Anubisius fails to respond. Kepura wipes his large thick lips with a handkerchief and lays out what everybody is thinking on the table. “One of us is down. What do we do?”

“I’m in no position to do such a thing but maybe,” Pegasus says while twiddling his thumbs. “World leaders should do something about this crisis on our hands.”

“Martis is in a conference with the President of the United States.” Kepura states flatly. “So far the American government has declared martial law on the devastated west coast while building forts to strengthen the defenses of the east coast cities. If I was a gambling man – which I am; it’s a serious problem – I’d say the terrorists will continue on the east coast or attack East Asia. The Momentum generators there are nearest to Los Angeles.”

Anubisius is about to speak up but he is cut short by a sharp objection. “Don’t be an idiot!” Kaiba severely admonishes Kepura. “The terrorists can fly like they’re devils from Hell, or Dragonball Z villains. No place on earth is safe geographically speaking.”

Pegasus quietly observed Kaiba parking his Blue-Eyes White Dragon jet outside, which certainly made a big noise, but the rest of the conference was too distracted to care. He sighs, “It’s everyone’s favorite party pooper.” All this while drinking his tea.

Kaiba is not alone; he is joined by an otherworldly woman, thin and very pale, with hair so fair it is almost white. Pegasus recognizes her to be Maria Wight, the Yugioh World Championship semi-finalist from three years ago.           

Anubisius finally has the courage to bluster at a random target. “Kepura, do something! You are the Field Marshall of the United States, the most powerful country in history!”

“Secretary of Defense. There is no American Field Marshal.” Kepura corrects him. “Besides, what am I to do? Order a nuclear assault on every potential target around the world? Our terrorist friends come and go as they please. They have no headquarters nor any chain of command.” He points an accusing finger to everyone around him in turn. “Their strategy is to form a cell when it is time to attack, even one under your very noses, then disperse.”

Yifan observes, “In other words, every underprivileged person on the planet is a potential enemy, about seven billion of them ever since Momentum became a thing. Meanwhile, the whole infrastructure of civilization as we know it depends on six generators. The terrorists can attack six billboards with targets painted on them. We can only grasp at smoke.” Yifan points to the servants of the house and the workers outside. “Even they can be plotting against us.” 

Anubisius puts his hand near his throat as if he is choking and even Kaiba drops his stoic mask, just a bit. Yifan covers her smile with a pale dainty hand, satisfied as a cat lapping milk.  

Kaiba covers his fear by lashing out. “How disgraceful! Our enemies are anarchist dogs who hide in the forest until they make a surprise attack. Fitting that a seditious woman like Maya leads a pack of hyenas.”

“Actually,” Anubisius adds, “Hyenas are more related to cats than -”  

“SHUT UP!” Kaiba roars like a blast of icy wind. 

Pegasus blows into the air and waves his hand like its a fan. “Do you have a strategy, Kaiba-boy?”

“You’ve done nothing from the beginning. You’re useless!” Kaiba turns on him, heaping more abuse. “You know that meme where Val Kilmer in Pulp Fiction walks around in bewilderment and has no idea where he is or what he’s doing? That’s you!”

Yifan finishes her tea, extremely amused from all the arguing going on, also making a note in her mind to steal Kaiba’s joke. Kaiba catches her smirking and demands she speak up, so Yifan tells him the truth. “I think it’s funny how easily you intimidate other people. All your constipated rage and vitriol comes from frustration and impotence. If you could achieve all the things you needed to, like getting a life, getting a girlfriend, beating Yugi in a card game, you would be a happier person.”

Kaiba rejects her advice at once, triggered into delivering a monologue on his philosophy. “Happiness is the mark of the imbecile. Man’s first scowl, his first profundity, came when the gods touched him on the forehead. A man who laughs and smiles often is shallow and dull. A man who laughs at everything kills a duelists’ pride by sneering on all that is heroic. A profound man does not laugh in joy or amusement. A profound man laughs in scorn and judgment. A profound man always has gravity and dignity about him. He is serious in every field and is never frivolous; he does not guffaw, he does not party, he does not waste his time socializing or drinking tea while the world collapses.” 

Yifan checks her watch, slouching on the tea table. “Cool story, bro.” Poor “Kaiba-boy” must be as boring and miserable as a Puritan. No wonder Maria broke up with him.  Anubisius cannot take it anymore. He smashes a vase in frustration, screaming. 

Pegasus decides to speak up. “Perhaps we should petition to every world power to double its defenses of the Momentum generators. America, China, Russia, and Pakistan come to mind. Even if they are set on protecting Momentum, we should still stress the danger of terrorists.”  

Yifan ponders the situation. If she is a gambling girl, she will bet Maya will take out Anubisius next. He is the weakest link. The poor thing must be frightened as a little rabbit. She can smell his fear. However powerful Maya is, she is still the underdog so she will exercise some caution, breaking one weak link after another until the whole chain falls apart.

Set on her prediction, Yifan gives false council. “Anyone who has seen Maya as a pro duelist knows she is a brash impatient person. Most likely she is already bored with taking out mere high mages and wants a real challenge, a legend like Kaiba, Pegasus, or Yugi. I’ll also venture to guess that Maya is an insecure person beneath all her dramatics – this is a common trait among outlandish people like her – so she wants to prove herself to mend her low self-esteem.”

Pegasus jumps to the conclusion. “Protect Japan and China, as well as my island since it’s near the shore of East Japan.”

“Correct.” Yifan confirms. She eyes Kepura next. “The American East Coast should be fine on its own. Also, India and Pakistan should protect China in case Maya wants to pull a fast one.”

The council, seeing her ideas to be most reasonable, agree. Even Kaiba nods in approval though still hating her guts. Strategies out of the way, he proceeds to his agenda. As he explains it, Maria has Blue-Eyes White Dragon as a Ka, meaning she can confront the terrorists since she can match their unnatural strength with her own. Unsure of such a bold claim, the council demands to see such power first hand.

Maria quietly assents, leading everyone outdoors. Being very shy among such powerful people, she lets Kaiba do all the talking while she concentrates on proving what words cannot. She has trouble getting in the mood at first but pulls herself together after a while, meditating for a full hour. Yifan can hear her Ka growing ever stronger like it’s a rising pitch, burning like a blue star, before anyone sees her glow in bright white. She grows and transforms, becoming a Blue-Eyes White Dragon in the flesh.

Meanwhile, decides to test Maria’s power first hand. She calls on Anubisius to order Saudia Arabia to launch a nuclear missile to Pakistan. He is at first bewildered until he reflects in shame on how he appeared so nervous and weak a moment ago. Steeling his nerves and wanting to get his balls back, he bullies an executive officer over a radio call to bypass all protocol and fire the weapon. He gets his way and within fifteen minutes the missile is launched.   

Everyone, even the servants and workers, stop to admire such power and splendor. Not bad, as Yifan thinks. She is a natural. Maya had to train for years to be like this, being an ordinary mortal with a humble background. But still, people like Maria who are chosen by the gods may have a huge head start but normal people with creativity and ambition have a higher ceiling. A god cannot truly be courageous or break new ground but mere mortals can. That is her pet theory. Either way, Maya has her work cut out for her.

“The missile has been launched.” Anubisius informs the council with a dry voice. 

“You heard the man.” Yifan tells the white dragon, pointing to the sun as if the warhead is there. “Fetch.”

The dragon takes off, breaking the sound barrier. Anubisius receives a radio call from the executive officer. The nuke was destroyed as soon as it was out of range. The white dragon promptly returns in triumph and reverts back into a human. Maria is strained from the exhaustion of executing such a difficult feat but still has the strength to sit down on a chair near Kaiba.

Anubisius sighs in relief and self-satisfaction, knowing that Maria will keep him safe. He orders the servants to deliver several old school opium pipes to the guests, transporting them a hundred years into the past. Anubisius, Yifan, and Pegasus take to enjoying themselves while Kepura, Kaiba, and Maria refrain. 

Enraptured from the opium, Pegasus quotes literature: “Life has always poppies in her hands.”

“Only if you’re a dreamer.” Yifan rejoins. Her brain sick with opium, she naps on the base of one of the manor’s many columns, transported into a dream. She arrives to an African Savannah, the origin of the human species, and sees Maya, a bright woman more beautiful than any other, blazing in the sky where the sun should be. Maya never leaves the midheaven, an idée fixe refusing to leave Yifan’s mind. Yifan stretches her arms to the sky, longing to embrace Maya, but cannot rise beyond the ground no matter how hard she tries.

“Cyndia…” Pegasus moans in sorrow. “My dear wife Cyndia… I still miss you…”

Yugioh Endgame: Duel 13 – Much Going On

Sofia finds herself in a wide plane, a grassland in the Horn of Africa similar to the one in the Shangri-la several days ago. The midday sun blazes on her tawny skin, covering them with dark sunspots, burning her so much she almost shines like a star herself. She rushes into the mouth of a cave to protect herself as much as she can, though she already aches with sunburn. 

The cave reveals itself to be the mouth of an Egyptian temple, its outside nothing but a ruin but its inside as alive as the day it was built. Yes! She was here before back when she was in Egypt! It’s one of the Abu Simbel temples! She sees pair after pair of stone giants of Ramses II flanking both sides of a seemingly endless hallway. And above, a night sky of stars that look alive. She fears the colossus golems will demand her to solve riddles but they remain quiet, letting her pass without harassing her.

She arrives to the inner sanctum. The four gods: Ramesu, Heru, and Ra-Amun bathed in light and Pitah remaining in darkness, oversee the Shadow Game before them. There, Sofia sees Yifan and Maya sitting across a large circular table, a diorama of the whole Earth. Yifan has several cards out: the high mages, Kaiba, Pegasus, and one card facedown. Maya also wields forces of her own: herself, Yukio, Mathias, Miguella, Hassan, and several generals.      

Maya moves the card depicting herself on a square next a card representing Secmeton, and declares an attack. The duel between the two “monsters” unfolds. The Ba, or bar of hit points, of the Maya card almost reaches zero but the Secmeton card is destroyed by battle, so Yifan places it in the Graveyard. Yifan draws a blank card from her Deck, and uses her mind to conjure an image of Maria! She Summons it near the Kaiba card.

It is Maya’s turn, so she draws a blank card from her Deck and conjures an image of Sofia on it. Then, she places the Sofia card on the edge of the board facedown, as if unsure where it should go. Sofia needs to help Maya while remaining hidden in darkness. She nudges Maya’s elbow, pushing her hand a bit to the tail of South America. Maya takes the hint, so she moves the Sofia card face down to the Strait of Magellan. Then, she does something unexpected; she taps the card with her finger, and starts singing in a falsetto:

And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
What’s going on? 

And I say, hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah
I said hey, what’s going on?

“What was going on?” Sofia thinks to herself after she wakes up. 

Maya did train her how to have lucid dreams and mentioned they would talk to each other through dreams one night. It seemed like Maya lured Sofia to hidden place to ask her for directions – for something. Once Maya got what she needed, she then gave Sofia directions of her own – or so it seemed.

Sofia browses the Internet a bit, not fully awake, unsure of what to do. Surely enough, the death of Secmeton is all over the New York Times, the remaining masters of mankind visibly scared. Enough of this. Sofia gets up, puts on her clothes, and makes her way to the East River. Sofia must have a bad habit of sleeping in because the sun already at its zenith, and she is hungry. Suddenly, a machine appears as if it waited for her the whole time. It looks like a spaceship from centuries in the future but comes out from the water. It opens the hatch, revealing a small seat inside. 

Now Sofia gets it. She texts Jolene, “Going to the gym.”, knowing her friend will get the subtext, and climbs aboard. The hatch closes her inside and creates a computer generated panorama of the underwater world surrounding it. Sofia opens a virtual map and points to the Strait of Magellan. The machine obeys, darting to the depths of the Atlantic Ocean, transporting Sofia to her destination within several hours. She opens the hatch, seeing Maya stand with her arms crossed on the rocky wind-blasted shore, as if defying the elements.  

“So how’s your work vacation?” Maya welcomes Sofia; her face makes a jarring change from brooding to jovial in a fraction of a second. 

Sofia steps out to the shore, getting surrounded by a multitude of little penguins as if they are giving her a welcome party. She sees Maya pointing at the penguins and hears her give them names: “Here’s Dan, Wayne, Frank, Eric, Ted, and Darren. And there’s Amy, Megan, Karen, Lisa, and Carrie.”

“Did you just assume their genders?” Sofia jokes.

Maya gives Sofia a warm hug, leading her to the windswept mainland, the penguins following her. It is time to advance Sofia’s training. The first task of the student is to follow the master in doing several stretches and balances. Sofia easily follows Maya’s lead, doing what looks like a few yoga exercises except maybe the balancing is more demanding. 

Sofia begins to feel disappointed, even a little upset. It doesn’t look like Maya is taking her seriously. Then, Maya puts 5 kilogram weights on her arms, legs, neck, and waist. Sofia follows, and the “yoga class” becomes harder. Maya ramps it up to 10 kilogram weights. Sofia, though hardy like her teacher, has a lighter build and less training, making her strain rivers of sweat as she summons the greatest strength her body is capable of doing. Maya also trembles from the extreme strain, like she is also about to break any minute now.

At 20 kilograms, Sofia exceeds her mortal strength and is forced to bring out her Ka, or life force, from deep within her, making her dark brown eyes glow crimson. She looks across to Maya, whose eyes make her less like a human and more like a night predator. Sofia puts all her effort in controlling her Ka, taming the roaring rapids of fiery energy throughout her body, engineering it into a controlled river that flows around in a circle, around, and around, and around. Otherwise, her Ka would erupt like wildfire, burning her body and a kilometer of landmass into smouldering ash. 

Sofia does a handstand with one arm, the penguins pile on top of her, and Maya sits on her feet with all of her weight, making her body, now superhuman begin to strain. “Good.” Maya purrs like a contented tiger. “Now the real training can begin.” 

Sofia blinks. “Excuse me.” She begins to see red from all the blood rushing to her head.

“I will ask you several questions.” Maya says in a very grave tone. “For each one you get wrong, you owe me one bourbon. Sounds good?”

Sofia nods, visibly confused. 

Maya starts the game: “In the red house lives a red man. In the blue house lives a blue man. In the white house lives -”

“A white man.” Sofia blurts out.

“Wrong. The President lives in the white house, who is a black man, you racist. You’re retarded.”

Sofia blinks several times, her eyes bloodshot. “I don’t understand.”

“I want you to think on your feet and see logical holes where you’d otherwise not see them, even under unbearable stress.” Maya explains, though Sofia remains skeptical. “Next question: what is the best way to burn grass in your backyard?”

Sofia wracks her brain for an answer but can’t find one. “A small match to keep it controlled?” She answers, her voice uncertain.  

“Why would you burn perfectly good grass? You smoke it!” Maya scolds her. “And you don’t do it out in the backyard where a cop can see you. That was a major doobie. By Mary Jane’s bush, you’re retarded!”

Sofia frowns in frustration and disgust, too upset to say anything.

“Last question: on what side of the roof does the rooster lay its egg in the morning?”

Ah ha! Sofia knows this one! “Neither! Roosters don’t lay eggs!”

“I was going easy on you.” Maya scoffs. She gives Sofia several more retard tests but Sofia only gets another one right. “You must have been very sheltered growing up under Pegasus.” Maya complains. “If you went to a public school, you’d know half these riddles. I only invented one of them, the one with the weed joke. Don’t worry. You can live a full life despite your disability.”

“Come on!” Sofia shouts through gritted teeth, her resentment building. “I want serious training!”

“Oh, this is very serious.” Maya reassures her. “You can’t just fight. You have to dance in a battle. You must cultivate humor, wit, rhythm, lightness, and music in your martial arts. It is called martial arts for a reason.”

Maya feels Sofia buckle under the strain, folding beneath her like a pretzel. Maya gets off and surveys the tangled mess, wondering how to reassemble her. It’s like Maya needs to build Ikea furniture but lost the directions. “Wayne, stop it!” She shouts at the hooligan penguin as it starts humping Sofia. She kicks the creature away in a fury, cursing at the author. “Very original!”

Maya takes off her weights, then carefully removes the weights from Sofia before putting her back together. Sofia gets up, feeling so light without the weights she can dance on her toes. Maya does dance on her toes and invites Sofia to a boxing match. 

Sofia accepts the challenge, eager to get revenge on Maya for humiliating her. The two fighters flit from one place to the next within the blink of an eye, like how the hummingbird goes about her business among flowers. Sofia lashes out at Maya in every way she knows how, but Maya effortlessly dodges them, while Maya in turn strikes with just enough speed for Sofia to block – most of them. Maya smacks her a few times, though not too hard. The penguins thoroughly enjoy the spectacle.

“Doctors know an easy way to diagnose cancer. If your hand is larger than your face, I have bad news for you.” Maya says. Sofia naively lifts her hand to her face, only for Maya to push Sofia’s face with it. “I do have bad news for you. You’re retarded.”

“I honestly think you’re just trying to bully me.” Sofia complains.

“A little bit.” Maya admits with a twinkle in her eye. “I last dunked a gamer nerd down the toilet when I was eighteen the day after my dad beat me and got drunk. I had to plead the cops to not arrest him that night. Now the gamer nerd complains about feminists all day.”

“Even in a tent city?”

“Especially in a tent city. He knows who I am.” 

Sofia grows impatient. “Can I fight you for real now?”

Maya is overjoyed. She uses her Ka to create a burning sword out of the air. Sofia does the same and lunges at her opponent, glad to finally be taken seriously. The two women begin sparring once more. Maya’s quirky training regimen continues unabated. Still, Sofia is unsure what’s really going on or if Maya is pulling her leg in an elaborate prank.

Yugioh Endgame: Duel 12 – Maritime Marriage Therapy

Husband and wife make their way to the deck, catching the fresh salty breeze of the morning air. Yukio slowly takes a sip of black coffee while Maya rubs her head. “I’m getting too old for this.” She complains, struggling with her hangover.

Yukio prods her with a gentle question. “Maybe we should talk about what happened yesterday.”

Maya gives him an acid smile. “Sure. I was too mean to the old man, a legitimate military target. Yes, he ruined the lives of a billion people and was destroying the planet, but he cried about the whales, so it balances out. Nobody is perfect.”

“You killed his son, an enemy combatant, which is obviously understandable.” Yukio says. “But did you really have to rub it in his face throughout the duel?”

“You’re right.” Maya retorts. “I should spare my enemy’s feelings. I wouldn’t want to demoralize an enemy fighter too much. I need to be gentle, go to therapy with him, mind his delicate mental health, you know, give him a chance to kill me.”

Now Yukio is getting a headache. “It’s not really about that. I fear all these things are symptoms of something else. I’d call it your moral compass or the state of your soul if I was a Christian. I feel like you’re losing you’re normalizing psychopathy and losing your humanity. I wonder if you really care about all the people you’re fighting for.”

Maya does understand what he is saying, feeling the same worries herself, but another part of her thinks holding on to ideal morals will be too brittle for her struggles ahead. And too old. And false. She tries explaining her feelings to Yukio but completely misfires. “There is no point in behaving in a perfectly moral way if the high mages still control the world and drive the planet to destruction. We are at war, so strategy takes precedence. Ideals, and that includes moral ideals, are tools. You need to use them to mobilize an army to win. That is a fact. I wish I could hold fast to moral ideals but I’m too disillusioned. It won’t win a war.”

Yukio does not believe she truly values moral ideals, and so he jumps at her because of his suspicion. “So you believe the ends justify the means?”

It is a gotcha question, and Maya knows it. So she answers it the way she always does, and it is certainly not by evading it. “I do.” She replies, smirking in the most obnoxious way she can.

“Mathias believes the means justify the ends.” Yukio says.

“Mathias is a fool.”

“I believe the same thing he does.”

“You’re an idiot too.”

An awkward silence follows. The sun climbs the horizon throughout the argument. The black ocean turns wine dark, then midnight blue, then a solid dark blue. A comrade spots an island, rousing everyone on board of its presence.

Maya continues, “You don’t need a Millennium Item to predict how things will go down. Heroes are predictable, reactive creatures. Mathias will object to my ‘cruel’ methods because that’s what heroes do. Yugi and Jonouchi won’t show up until the very last moment. In another universe, Yugi will believe in the Heart of the Cards or Atem will give him an eleventh hour superpower to reform me and kill Yifan. But we don’t play by those rules. The heroes will fail.”

“By ‘we’ I assume you mean Yifan and yourself.” Yukio shoots back. “In case you forgot, according to the Millennium Necklace you destroyed, Yifan will win. Where did you predict that in your master plan?”

Maya has no answer.

Yukio continues, “You act like you’re in a grand Shadow Game RPG against Yifan, but you’re not. People are not expendable pawns or NPCs. Hashtag their lives matter.”

Maya becomes indignant. “Yifan thinks our revolution is a game, not me! I need to follow my plan if me or Sofia are to defeat her one day. The only reason she hasn’t pulled a Maleficent and burned the whole planet by now is because she would get bored. As long as I work towards killing her one day, she will think me a worthy opponent and give us odds to keep things interesting. You’ll thank me later when it’s all over and I’m finally dead. Then you’ll be happy.”

“So she is the cat. You’re the mouse.” Yukio says in disgust. “And poor Sofia is… The dog that chases the cat? I don’t know. The analogy is falling apart.”

“We’re more like the Sith Rule of Two.” Maya comments. “Complete with fiery red swords, dark magic powers, an edgy philosophy, and arguably we are necessary as we are evil – in the Nietzschean sense of the course, not the dumb Christian or democratic sense.”

“I really hate you sometimes.” Yukio mutters.

“Then why don’t you divorce me?” Maya challenges him. “Our marriage is only a week old. Cut ties with me while it’s thin. It’s not Britney-Jason marriage short, but it would give the rest of Hollywood a run for its money.”

Yukio spills out more of what is on his mind. “You know what really hurts me?” He pauses to properly form his ideas. “I’m assuming you know the Becky and Stacy memes. Becky is the bookish, introverted, artsy girl, somewhat pretty but unkempt and not too attractive. Stacey is the alpha bitch, with high heels, fake tan, fake hair, fake tits, immensely popular, extroverted, has men waiting on her every move.”

“Of course I know who Becky and Stacey are. What’s your point?”

“When I first met you, I saw this intelligent girl who had an artist’s sensitivity and talent but who was also brilliant and fun. I cannot conceive of that girl doing the things you do now. I thought you were a real Becky, like my ex Jolene, but now I think you were a Stacey trapped in a Becky the whole time.”

Maya laughs ruefully, almost with scorn. “Sweetheart, Becky and Stacey are a false dichotomy; they don’t exist. You act like you’re still in high school. Grow up. You fell in love with me when I was being a so-called ‘Stacey’, not ‘Becky’. We entered a relationship when we were in Egypt, when I did many ruthless, violent things. We got down last night after I killed an old man in a card game. You consider yourself a feminist, don’t you?”

Yukio nods.

Maya says, “You like a strong, independent woman, but your idea of her is a ‘hipster girl’ or a ‘spooky girl’. Spouting progressive talking points and threatening to hex someone are cute, but there is nothing striking or unique about it. When you see an actual strong woman, like me or Yifan, you reel back in disgust, even though it’s what you really want. You probably see Yifan as bourgois, conventional, and arrogant, and me as a ‘Stacey’, even though we are none of these things. Again, grow up.”

“You kill scores of people every weekend.” Yukio counterattacks with indignation. “Spreading war, violence, disaster, insurrection, chaos, disease, and death are your job. You are not a woman! You are a beast! And Yifan – what you’re – say!” He needs to take a moment to properly speak again. “She is a vile snake who likes playing with her food before she eats it, at best! At worst, she takes nothing seriously, because it’s all a bad joke to her! Don’t talk to me about how nuanced Yifan really is when she is the source of evil tearing this world apart!”

Maya finishes her coffee. “Not like you can count on a man to do a monster’s job anyway.”

Yukio tries to crack Maya’s armor, a task he imagines to be as difficult as mounting a hedgehog. “I’m not in the mood to spar with words. I’m being very serious right now. I’m worried about what you have done and what you are becoming. How can you fight for the rights and well-being of Earth’s poorest against the one percent when you act as callously and flippantly as the world’s richest CEOs? I don’t want to lose the woman I fell in love with.”

Maya clasps Yukio’s hands, her face almost penitent in its expression. “And here is my serious response. I would normally say it’s all just an act: to be as cavalier and bold as possible to put fire in the hearts of people. That is indeed true, but there is more to it. I don’t think I can live by the values we have anymore. It’s not enough if I am to somehow transcend to new heights as a musician, as a duelist, as a ‘beast’: in short, as a ‘creative being’, if you could call me that. Yifan, evil as she is, has a point in her worldview. You can’t be too righteous these days. You’ll lose either your sanity or your ability to truly understand this world.”

“So it’s all about you and your creative power?” Yukio asks.

“Yes, mine and Sofia’s.” Maya confirms. “It always has been.”

While Yukio deeply disagrees with Maya’s priorities, he does respect her on some level. He gently puts his hands on Maya’s cheeks. “You straddle a very thin line between light and darkness. It’s like you are walking a tightrope. Promise me you won’t lose yourself and fall.”

Maya kisses her husband’s hands. “I promise.”

The island becomes close enough for a man to swim to it. Maya strips naked and jumps in the water, ridding herself of yesterday’s sewer grime. Yukio throws everything in the air. He strips naked and followers her. A comrade, the one who spotted the island earlier, scratches his head but doesn’t care enough to think about it any further.

Everyone arrives to the shore, setting up a small camp, then search the jungle for some fruit and other provisions. Maya and Yukio get new clothes and spend the morning fishing, yielding enough food for themselves and a few of the hungriest people. Yukio and several comrades return to the computers in the boat, resetting the special incognito network they used to communicate with each other before. So far, nothing.

Maya thinks it appropriate to create a memorial for all the soldiers who died in battle. She conceives an idea and leads her comrades in carrying many rocks, big and small, from around the shore to set up an artwork. Midday passes to night. Yukio leaves the boat to see a large mound, the sharp rocks making it look like a mountain with jagged peaks. Everyone puts a small object dear to them, even if it is but a trinket, at the top of the mound, each one representing the fallen comrades.

Maya ignites one of the torches on the mound, which spreads through the grass and all the other torches, transforming the memorial into a blazing mountain. Touched by such a creative act, Yukio clasps Maya’s hand and invents poetry off the top of his head:

Men who drowned in the wat’ry deep,
Now soar upwards t’wards the sky.
We stop our climb and fall asleep.
Tomorrow we soar on high.

The rebel band spontaneously match the words with music, creating a song. While it is not amazing, even corny, it is heartfelt. Everyone sings and sways in unison, not unlike the orchestra, that great symbol of a democratic community as Maya thinks it, voices and flames climbing to the many stars above. Most comrades see the full night sky and the Milky Way for the very first time. Maya feels like she can somehow be drawn towards the stars just by staring at them long enough and letting go. This gives her an idea just as everyone goes to bed.

Yukio wakes up the next day, groping at the empty space by his side, expecting Maya to be there. Just when he thought he could trust Maya, when he could give his heart to her, she burns it! He sees many pebbles carefully arranged on the sand, a long chain of numbers that he presumes are geographic coordinates. Maya must have given him the location of the rendezvous point for the rebel fleets.

Wait, but how? Yukio is left scratching his head.

But there is more. He sees letters forming a puzzling sentence: The sky is the limit.

Yugioh Endgame: Duel 11 – A Very Possible Victory

MAYA: 50 || SECMETON: 1975

Maya hovers her left hand over her Deck, almost like she is about to surrender the game. Next turn, the effect of Card of Demise will kick in, forcing her to forfeit to her entire hand, leaving her defenseless against a potential onslaught. This draw better be good.

MAYA’S TURN: “I banish the three Sirens in my Graveyard to Special Summon Dark Necrophilia (ATK 2200)!” A horrid shadow rises from the netherworld, haunting the field for a while, before forming into the tall thin purple figure of the queen of the dead.

Secmeton gasps at the sight, an original uncensored print of Dark Necrofear. The monster’s powers are probably extremely strong as well, before she got nerfed in later printings. The high mage laughs ruefully. “Oh, Maya. Why do you keep fighting me?” He waves his arm in a broad gesture. “I can negate your Spells, your Traps, and your monsters. You should give up.’  

But, before Maya can proceed further, Secmeton interrupts her again. “I mean, why do you fight against me knowing the senseless destruction you bring to this world? You believe yourself to be fighting for the good of humanity, don’t you?”   

Maya knows exactly where this is going, and so replies, “Don’t waste your breath. A dramatic monologue won’t make me question my motives for an instant. You’ll need something more compelling than that.”

Secmeton ignores her snubbing him, droning on with the utmost gravity, “If you seek to bring about a revolution, of achieving a world of equality, free of all oppression, then you are the most ill-fitted person to carry on that task. You sacrifice men as if they were pawns; you kill sons with the least thought of the grief of their fathers; you scorn human life with such cavalier disrespect you might as well be a feudal lord. Then again, a feudal lord at least assumes responsibility over his subjects as they are his wards.”

Maya rubs her temples with her fingers for she has gotten a migraine. It has been a long, long day. She retorts, “At least in theory. You can care about oppressed people as much as you want, but nothing will happen if you make no sacrifices. Principles, ideals, policies, whatever are tools you use to manipulate your subjects into doing what you want, whether you want them to protect your social order or to fight in your wars, even though you have to believe in those ideals yourself to some degree. Anyone who believes in an ideal with no reserve is an idiot waiting to be duped. You must leave your conscience at the door.”

“And here is where you’re wrong.” Secmeton lectures on. “The means justify the ends, never the other way around. Nothing has greater price than your conscience. Your integrity is the one inch of you no one can take away except yourself. No one in the world can doubt the goodness in my heart. I did my best to push initiatives to protect the oceans from the worst pollution. I cannot afford to lose this duel, for the sake of the loved ones I must protect!”

Maya raises an eyebrow, visibly confused. “You must be senile. Your son is – I wouldn’t say sleeping with the fishes but – is fish food. Your wife is worm food, soon to be followed by a worm man.”

Secmeton shoots back with a vengeance, “A good duelist must always duel to protect their friends and the ones they love! I’m pretty vague on who those people are but I must do it anyway! That’s what the good guys do! A low evil dog like you will never understand that!”

“I guess you must protect the dolphins, preserve the sharks,” Maya prods him further. “Perhaps you must save -”

“Yes!” Secmeton shouts. “I MUST SAVE THE WHALES!”

Maya and her comrades all laugh at the old man’s expense. Maya will miss him when he’s gone. He just made her day.

She then delivers her rebuttal. “Yes, you are probably a decent man, but your decency means little, and your conscience means nothing. You tried saving the whales while building Momentum, the thing that exiles millions of humans from home and kills millions of whales. You throw waste in the ocean, you cry about it, the planet burns. Here is my position, and it is an honest one at that: either billions of people starve and die or all people starve and die.”

Mathias folds his arms, his face now dark and grim. “It’s a lose-lose duel.”

“I won’t stand for a future where you use human lives for a greater gain!” Secmeton shouts.

Maya smiles at him in the most insincere way possible. “Spoken just like Atem. Truly.”

“You cannot tribute human beings like they are Monster Cards!” Secmeton musters the energy to deliver his next line in the most profound tone possible. “WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY!”

Maya scoffs, “I certainly don’t live in yours. I mean, how can I? Ever since Momentum became a thing, ‘society’ has been shrinking every year. Soon it will be a dozen old guys hiding in their bunkers before the poor literally eat the rich.”

Now she really wearies of this conversation. Seriously, it’s worse than talking about politics at Thanksgiving dinner. “Regardless,” Her eyes flash wide open, the flames inside so bright she must be possessed by a devil. “Dark Necrophilia, send Davy Jones to a watery grave! Pray for death gaze!”

“You fool!” Secmeton retorts. “I banish 3 WATER monsters to activate Ghost Mariner’s Shore Curse!” A large old mirror suddenly flashes in front of Davy Jones, forcing Dark Necrophilia to take the full curse from her own killing gaze, destroying her.

“Excellent!” Maya exults at the death of her monster. “You have no more fodder for your cards. Stygian Drag Racer, pulverize Davy Jones!” And the daredevil fiend unceremoniously runs over the enemy, which starts the chain reaction causing all of Secmeton’s cards to shatter.

“No!” Secmeton cries in shock and anguish. (Secmeton LP 1975 → 1925)

Maya delivers her final order. “Stygian Kart Racer, attack him directly!” And Secmeton receives the full brunt of a vehicular assault. (Secmeton LP 1925 → 575)

SECMETON’S TURN: “I return Sinister Serpent to my hand and Normal Summon Tribe-Infecting Virus (ATK 1600)!” A vaguely humanoid lizard creature appears, lurching, transformed into a zombie by the virus infecting it. “I discard my Serpent to use its effect. Destroy all Fiend-Type monsters!” The zombie lizard opens its gaping mouth, vomiting a black cloud unto Maya’s creatures, forcing them to vomit their insides out before painfully crumbling to dust.

Secmeton is ready to attack for game, but pauses. Dark Necrophilia leaves an onryo behind when she dies. Now, an evil spirit, though unseen, wanders the field and can possess any monster he plays. If he attacks, there is a fifty-fifty chance the evil spirit will possess his monster, negating his attack and inflicting damage on him, making him lose the Duel.

Maya spreads her arms wide open as if about to hug her rival. “What are you waiting for! Attack me directly. You have a perfectly fair shot at killing me.”

“Do not play with me!” Secmeton growls.

“When I spoke about sacrificing a billion people, I included myself as well.” Maya says. “Luck may be on your side and you’ll win. I’m as disposable as everyone else. I know that I will not live to see old age. I promise you that. If anything, I’ll die within the next three years, so if I die now, oh well. Strike me down and avenge your son!”

Secmeton clenches his fist but hesitates. Even if passes his turn, his chances will remain the same, fifty-fifty. To delay will do nothing. “You asked for it! Virus, attack Maya directly!” Secmeton barks. But luck is not on his side. The evil spirit possessing his monster bursts out and pierces him in the heart. He cries out in pain, falling to his knees. (Secmeton LP 575 → 0)

MAYA: 50 || SECMETON: 0

The dark magic of the shadow games slowly eats away at him; the old man knows he is done. Even his knees give way, but Yukio rushes to catch him before he can hit the floor.

“You’re lucky. You get more respect than any high mage ever will.” Maya snorts.

Secmeton reaches out to the woman who killed his son with a withered old hand, pleading, “Maya, I know deep down your heart is good. As a man reduced to begging to his murderer, I beg you, please remember me and my son as men of good intent, who only tried their best to do good in an evil world. We are all only human.”

His speech touches Maya deep in the heart. Remorse overtakes her so powerfully she nearly loses balance, even nearly faints, as she fully understands for the first time the depth of suffering she has unleashed unto the world. Only now does she realize how much the fathers of her enemies will weep but, unlike Secmeton, will not be granted mercy in a quick death – And mothers! Dear God, the mothers! Mothers like her! How could she live if little Narmer died!

Maya nearly faints, but she catches herself at the last moment. Good people who do nothing to oppose evil might as well be evil themselves. Secmeton and his son, no matter the purity of their hearts, were powerful elites. They developed Momentum in Los Angeles; they played a part in spearheading a new global military industrial complex; they were agents of oppression and destruction around the world.

With a heavy heart, Maya flatly says, “No.”    

Secmeton closes his eyes and breathes his last, a fool till the end.

Maya strolls to the old man’s corpse to claim her prize, the Millennium Necklace, pretending like nothing of consequence happened. Yukio can no longer control himself at seeing such cruelty from his wife, and he starts weeping bitterly, cursing the day he met her. It is relatively common knowledge that the shadow games reveal people’s true natures but he cannot conceive of Maya’s heart being this dark. How much rage and hatred did she hide from him all this time?

Maya prized the Millennium Necklace from the corpse and squeezed it as hard she could. She concentrated as hard as she could, mustering her Ka into a force powerful enough for her to shatter even a Millennium Item – and right at the moment the Necklace is destroyed, it flashes a brilliant light, engulving Maya, Yukio, and Mathias in the blaze.  

The three warriors see the next three years flash before their eyes. Mathias will switch sides when he learns of Maya’s secret. Maya will take the Millennium Ring instead of destroying it, letting it corrupt her. Yukio will be blessed with a new baby, one Maya will give birth to in prison. Sofia will grow in strength as Maya’s pupil, preparing for the day she will confront Yifan. Jolene, JC, and Miguella will be executed by their enemies. Yifan will best Yugi in a duel. Maya will best Yifan, Kaiba, and Mathias in a duel. Sofia will kill Maya in a duel. Sofia will fight Yifan but won’t be strong enough to defeat her. She will die from battle, and Yifan will be free to destroy the earth, and then the solar system, and afterwards be free to roam the stars as a dragon forever.

“Spoilers: everyone dies.” Mathias comments dryly.      

“I hate to break the party but reinforcements are coming and satellites could strike at any minute!” JC hollars from above.

Maya, Yukio, and Mathias muster their Ka, having no time to contemplate the vision given to them by the Necklace, able to project wings for themselves in only a minute, and fly away from the battle field, carrying JC, Miguella, and whichever commanders they could find to safety with them. Every other fighter has to make do and flee for their lives on the few boats remaining. A new flock of drones arrive to pick out a few more boats while new missiles from the war satellites high above bombard all of Los Angeles.

Without a Millennium Item to stabilize it, Momentum loses its ability to run as a near perpetual motion machine. It loses momentum, just a little bit, which causes a chain reaction reversing its direction, which causes it detonate, releasing the power of a nuclear blast in an instant. The explosions swallows all but a few drones, and the rebel troops pick apart the remaining drones. All the rebels scatter into the wide blue in different directions, making their way back to Chile as quickly as possible, taking advantage of the chaos caused by the nuclear blast.

“Thank Isis Mary Mother of Raptor Jesus that Ka energy can stay warmed up like the body during exercise.” Mathias sighs in relief as he drops Miguella and JC on a boat.

Maya and Yukio land on a different boat a hundred miles away carrying their commanders, eager to drive the boat further into the vast ocean. Maya exults in victory with the troops, drinking, dancing, and playing limbo with them into the night.

Yukio does not join the festivities, sulking below deck. “Yes, Maya, how low can you go.” But he does not want to make things awkward by quarreling with his wife now. She did clinch a major victory for the people of planet Earth after all, striking a heavy blow against the global empire, but sometimes she really frightens him.

Something about that fierce power, that robust stinging humor, that way she takes life’s horrors in stride, all that arouses him as much as it disgusts him. So when Maya comes on to him, stinking drunk from victory and rum, he embraces her for the entire night.  

They wake up half naked next morning, Maya groaning from the hangover, Yukio staring into the ceiling, wondering what the war was really all about. While the two of them are having their morning coffee, Yukio gently nudges her. “We really need to talk.”

Yugioh Endgame: Duel 10 – Trapped In Davy’s Locker

Maya: 200 || Secmeton: 3950

“Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…” Maya keeps moaning as she struggles to get up. “My ass will be bruised for days. I don’t know if Yukio is into that sort of thing, but still.” She gets on one knee and forces herself up with some effort, still grumpy Secmeton put her in a position beneath him. “I may be in a bad spot, but I’m coming back.”

Seceton raises an eyebrow, annoyed, “In case you didn’t notice, I just pounded you into the ground wide open, deep and dirty!”

Everyone around him snickers hard enough for a bit of snot to come out. Mathias can barely restrain tears of laughter. “Your joke is one chapter too late, my dude.”

“For the love of Neptune’s trident, grow up you children!” Secmeton admonishes his enemies. “This is not Captain Underpants! This is a serious card game battle with the fate of the world at stake!”

MAYA’S TURN: Anyway, back to the boring card game. Maya gains 1000 Life from Snatch Steal (Maya LP 200 → 1200), and her Stygian Drag racer returns with roaring engines. “I activate Spider Web and I choose to add the Bahrastos in your Graveyard in my hand.” Maya declares. “And this action puts Vanity’s Emptiness in the Graveyard, so I destroy 2 monsters in my hand to Special Summon your monster!” And surely enough, the behemoth encroaches on Maya’s field (ATK 1800).   

“What a meaningless spiteful display, stealing my monster for the sake of it.” Secmeton admonishes her.

“Oh yes, it’s spiteful.” Maya admits. “But it’s useful. I destroyed Celestial Siren Lacheson with your monster’s effect, so she activates.” Suddenly, all of Secmeton’s monsters disappear within several wormholes. “Don’t worry about them. They’ll be back in two turns.”

With that strategy executed, Maya prepares for the attack. “I Normal Summon Thunder King Rai-Oh (ATK 1900)!” A tall machine hovers above the ground using the electromagnetic field it generates around itself to do so. “I atta-”

She suddenly goes quiet. Secmeton has three facedown cards and Maya has none. And her Life is really low. What does she do?

“Urgh. I Set a card and call it a turn.” Maya grumbles.

SECMETON’S TURN: “You didn’t have it in you. Then again, criminals are cowards. Sinister Serpent goes back to my hand. That is all.” Secmeton is forced to cut his turn short.

MAYA’S TURN: “I Normal Summon Stygian Kart Racer (ATK 1350), and banish it to draw a card.” A burning skeleton in a biker jacket speeds into play with a go kart on fire, then vanishes as quickly as he came. “Not a Fiend, but a good draw.” Maya thinks to herself.

“I switch Rai-Oh to Defense Position and Set a card.” Maya quietly ends her turn once more.

SECMETON’S TURN: “I thought so.” Secmeton says, smiling. “I just drew my best monster. Now I have all the cards needed for my ultimate strategy.”

“Well that’s tactically sound, revealing the cards in your hand, so to speak.” Maya remarks in an aside.

“I Normal Summon Ghost Mariner Davy Jones (ATK 1600)!” Secmeton announces, giving rise to a ghostly pirate skeleton, the devil of the ocean himself. “Go, Davy Jones! Destroy Rai-Oh!” The fiendish pirate cuts Rai-Oh down with his rapier.

Maya realizes at this point she made a mistake switching Rai-Oh to Defense. And then realizes she made yet another mistake not activating her Traps. “Good grief. When it rains, it really does poar.” Maya mutters to herself.

MAYA’S TURN: “My turn!” As soon as Maya draws her card, the Stygian Kart Racer returns to the field, as do all the monsters banished by Celestial Siren Lacheson. Maya and Secmeton reclaim the monsters they stole from each other in the process, Atropon returning to Maya’s field, Bahrastos to Secmeton’s.

“I activate Monster Reborn! I revive -”

“No, you don’t. I activate my Continuous Trap, Ghost Mariner’s Sky Curse” Secmeton shuts her down. “I banished 3 WATER monsters in my Graveyard to negate Monster Reborn!”

“Humph!” Maya bites her lip in frustration, then pauses to ruminate over her position. Secmeton has a Trap out that looks like one in a series of cards designed to negate card effects. One negates Spells. Another probably negates Traps. And then another probably negates monsters. Interesting hypothesis; now to test it out.

“I Tribute your Abyss Soldier to Special Summon Cavern Golem (ATK 3000) to your field!” The undersea warrior shatters, and the pieces reassemble into a large creature made of mud and cave stones. “Atropon, attack Cavern Golem!”

Secmeton sternly raises his palm as if he can physically stop the assault. “I won’t let you! Activate Ghost Mariner’s Shore Curse!” He banishes another 3 WATER monsters, letting Davy Jones crush Atropon’s body with a deadly curse.

“Good!” Maya shouts as her monster shatters. “Her effect kicks in since she got destroyed! We both lose half our Life!” Blazing arrows made of light shoot out from the Siren’s shattered body, hitting both Maya and Secmeton through the chest. (Maya LP 200 → 100, Secmeton LP 3950 → 1975)

Secmeton staggers back, his old body struggling to endure such a piercing assault. He curses his opponent. “You will not defeat me with a mere monster effect! I’ll drag you to Hell with me if I have to for killing my son! You swinish bard! You foul dragon!”

Maya tries counting on her fingers all the unique insult Secmeton has thrown at her today, but gives up. “Come on, old man. Using a thesaurus doesn’t make you smarter. Why do stupid men call me a slut, anyway? I’ve only ever had -” She counts on her fingers again, and easily finds the right number. “Three lovers, five at most if you count casual sex, in my entire life. That’s downright prudish by Western expectations.”

“Maybe it’s because those men are stupid?” Yukio suggests with a deadpan tone.

“And you.” Maya addresses Secmeton. “Why do you keep calling me a slut in a thousand different ways? Because unlike other damaged women, I don’t like creepy older men. And where is Mrs. Secmeton anyway, because I have never heard of her?”

Secmeton grits his teeth, offended to his core. “Leave my deceased wife out of this, virago!”

“Got it. All I need to know. A little exposition wasn’t that hard, now was it. I switch Stygian Kart Racer and Stygian Drag Racer to Defense Position.” So Maya ends her turn.

“And so Davy Jones activates.” Secmeton informs his rival. “I shuffle all the WATER monsters I banished this turn into my Deck.”

Mathias nudges Yukio with his great elbow. “This duel is getting really tense. I almost can’t stand it. I’m so excited; just watching it gives me the bluest balls ever.”

“Mathias!” Yukio scolds him. “You will get us censored!”

“Oh, come on! You’re the one with a girlfriend! I expected you to have a heartier appetite!” Mathias then makes a few cheap jokes about 4Kids Entertainment.

At this point the large hole high above, which connects the duelists underground to the world outside, seems to brim, like it’s getting rough around the edges. As Yukio and Mathias peer up to see what is happening, they see their revolutionary forces gathering round to see Maya’s epic showdown against a high mage, a being they have thought was untouchable.

Yukio sees JC and Miguella in particular since they peered down below more eagerly. JC comments, “Looks like Maya’s in a quagmire. Wonder how she’ll get out of this. She’s got a big boner down her throat. – Bone! I meant bone! I meant bone!” JC hits himself. “ARGH!”

Miguella rolls her eyes and sighs to the darkness beneath her. “Why do people associate card battles with sex anyway. I really don’t get it.”

SECMETON’S TURN: “Ready, vampiric witch. Here I come! Monsters, assault her!” Secmeton commands.

As his monsters encroach past their border unto the enemies’, Maya springs her trap. “Storming Mirror Force!” And the invading army is caught in a wall of wind. “I’m bouncing all your monsters back to the hand!”

“Oh no you don’t!” Secmeton then triggers his trap. “Ghost Mariner’s Trench Curse! I banish another three WATER monsters to negate your Mirror Force card!”

Maya jumps a little bit in excitement, not unlike how guinea pigs do when popcorning. “Do I see a Chain Link of 3 or higher! I love those! Solemn Judgment!” Maya pays half her Life, shattering Secmeton’s card, which in turn lets the wall of wind on Maya’s field blow away all enemy monsters. (Maya LP 100 → 50)

Quick! Secmeton must recover! But how? He has an idea! “I Normal Summon Davy Jones once more and destroy Sinister Serpent and Grant Heron in my hand to Special Summon Bahrastos!” Two members of his undersea forces return to the field. “I use the other effect of Davy Jones: I destroy Bahrastos to return Ghost Mariner’s Trench Curse to the field. And as I end my turn, I shuffled my banished WATER monsters back into my Deck.”

With these plays, Secmeton regains his composure enough to bluster at Maya. “You wasted half your Life for no reason. My field is exactly like before. I’ve got your head between my legs, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Yukio and Mathias snicker some more. It is too much. Maya is too focused on the duel to notice anything. She begins her next turn.

Yugioh Endgame: Duel 9 – Deep and Dirty

Secmeton summons the Millennium Necklace. The sacred Item leaves its sanctuary from inside the Momentum and lands on Secmeton’s open palm. The duel disk flies on command to the other palm of its master. Almost all the lights above shut out and the dark room becomes even darker. The shadow game begins. Secmeton says to Maya, “I will never forgive you for treating human life so shamefully. You will pay dearly for your folly.”   

MAYA: 8000 || Secmeton: 8000

MAYA’S TURN: “Talk about the wastewater plant calling the sewer black.” Maya retorts. “Challenger goes first! I end my turn.” Maya’s tone is so careless it looks like has made a mistake.

SECMETON’S TURN: “You can’t be serious! After all your blustering, blistering, festering words, you end your turn with an open field!” Secmeton fumes. “I’ll make sure your glib attitude costs you the duel!”

His luck this draw can not be any better. “I reveal and activate Rank-Up Magic – The Seventh One!” Maya is mildly surprised seeing such good fortune. “Using its power, I Xyz Summon Number 101: Silent Honor ARK (ATK 2100), and immediately overlay it to Xyz Summon Number C101: Silent Honor DARK (ATK 2800)!” An advanced submarine appears, then transforms into a trident wielding warrior of the deep.

The whole sequence takes place within the effect of a single Spell Card, letting him Special Summon from his Extra Deck more than once, bypassing the normal limit. What can Maya say; rules are meant to be broken.  

“I activate Graceful Charity!” Secmeton continues, drawing three cards and discarding two. His preparation for a powerful combo is complete. “I use Premature Burial, paying 800 Life to resurrect Superancient Deepsea King Coelacanth (ATK 2600), and I discard a card to use his effect! Arise from my Deck, three units of Oyster Meister (1600 ATK) and Royal Swamp Eel (ATK 1700)!” A fish hundreds of millions of years old the size of a whale returns among the living, bringing with it an aquatic battalion. (Secmeton LP 8000 → 7200)

“Then, I sacrifice the three Oyster Meisters and Royal Swamp Eel to Tribute Summon Dreadnaught Fortress Whale!” The battalion vanishes, allowing a whale with a gunned fortress on its back to take its place, a whale so big it takes the size of the whole chamber, absorbing the total strength of all the forces sacrificed to make its summoning possible (ATK 6500). Yet the three Oyster Meister monsters are not completely gone, leaving behind three Oyster Tokens (DEF 0).

“Observe, the ocean has heaved her bosom and brought forth all the forces of the deep to my side. My mistress serves me and me alone. And now for the final catch. You took me lightly at your peril. All monsters, attack Maya! Kill her!” The ocean’s greatest monsters lunch to strike, bite, and gun Maya down.

“I activate Stygian Ghost Jockey (DEF 1350) in my hand to Special Summon it!” Maya slaps her card down like her life depends on it, since it does. The ghostly skeletons of a horse and rider form out of smoke, and with it arrive the spirits of two Tokens of similar appearance (DEF 0). Hardly do they appear when Secmeton’s forces send them back to the grave.

Maya scolds her opponent, “You had a god draw and an OTK combo, only for me to waste both with one little card. What a shame.”

Secmeton grits his teeth in anguish. “You! You arrogant termagant vituperator! You killed my son! How dare you frustrate my vengeance!” He wishes more than anything to stab Maya in the guts and rip them out but cheating in a shadow game means certain death. He can only set a card face-down.” With the end of his turn, Maya must banish her Stygian Ghost Jockey from the Graveyard.

MAYA’S TURN: “My turn! I’ll do more damage with two cards than you did in ten! I activate Quantum Stargate! I’ll use its power to Special Summon a monster with 0 ATK and 0 DEF from my Deck!”

“What!?” Secmeton exclaims in shock. “How could you do anything with such a weak monster?”

“I’ll show you. I Summon Celestial Siren Clothon!” Some thing teleports to the field from light years away, what looks an empty blue-colored suit of armor that can be worn by a  mermaid warrior of sorts. Yet it has six arms and a large mirror-like screen at the center; within it Secmeton sees the eyeless face of an old crone.

“What on earth -”

But Secmeton does not have time to finish. “I activate Charm of Lamentation. And now,” Maya commands. “Clothon, attack the Dreadnaught Fortress Whale!” The Siren obeys, using her six arms to bewitch the ocean behemoth into attacking her.

“But my monster has 6500 ATK!” Secmeton gasps in shock. What scheme is Maya is plotting to subvert his great whale monster? He has no time to ponder the mystery. He must act on instinct. “I activate Half-Shut on my monster!” The move cuts the ATK of Dreadnaught Fortress Whale in half (ATK 6500 → 3250). Still, the whale strikes its target with its massive turrets. Clothon easily makes the missiles explode before hitting her with an invisible barrier, absorbing their power, then striking Secmeton directly with a snowstorm of equal force. (Secmeton LP 7200 → 3950)

Secmeton’s old body cows under the blow, but the old man does not bend the knee. “Good instincts.” Maya acknowledges, and Secmeton decides to take the compliment. “But I’m not done torturing you this turn. I can draw an extra card with Charm of Lamentation. Since your monster lives, my attack was technically a failure.”

“You’re inability to destroy my monster in battle reveals your weakness.” Secmeton says.

Maya returns his comment with a wide grin. “Destroying monsters by battle is so Duelist Kingdom, as is sending them to the Graveyard in general. My Siren’s true power reveals itself now. I gave you three thousand plus damage, so Clothon will return three cards you control to your Deck: Silent Honor DARK, Dreadnaught Fortress Whale, and Premature Burial. Clothon, dust the field!” Maya’s monster conjures another snowstorm, sweeping away the eyesores.

“You got rid of Coelacanth by removing Premature Burial from the field.” Secmeton mumbles to himself, not to Maya, as his great fish dissolves to dust. “If you targeted it, I might have been able to counter your Siren.”

“I set a card.” Maya concludes blandly in anticlimax. “Your move, old man.”

But Secmeton does not move. Warm salty tears fall down his crusted old cheeks and into his white beard as he stares at the head of his son Maya so callously threw at the floor. He cannot move.

“Come on. Move.” Maya kicks the floor in boredom as if she was kicking an old dog to get up. “Believe it or not, people are dying all around us right now. You’re lucky we’re just playing a boring card game.”

Secmeton trembles in rage, crying, “You killed my son! How can you demand an old man wracked with the grief of the death of his only begotten son to confront you in battle!” He howls into the air.

Maya rolls her eyes and sneers, “I expected more than token resistance from a high mage.”

“You killed my only son!”

“Then act like it!” Maya berates him. “I didn’t sacrifice several hundred men or an afternoon for cazuela to hear you cry. You think you’re a unique individual? Several hundred fathers will weep more than you ever will for the violent deaths of their sons. Your misery will be short. Now stop ruining my willing suspension of disbelief and fight me like a man who actually lost everything!”

“You do not know what it feels like to lose your only begotten son!” Secmeton wails in protest, falling to his knees.

“You’re right; I don’t.” Maya admits, however, “I know this; if you killed my son, I’d fight for my life to kill you, even in a children’s card game.

This makes old Secmeton recovers his wits. He uses his duel disk to upload information on Maya’s Siren monster, studying all her traits, then gets up upon finding a good strategy.

SECMETON’S TURN: “I return a Sinister Serpent residing in my Graveyard to my hand. I tribute two of my Oyster Tokens to Tribute Summon Grand Heron (ATK 2000)!” Out comes the majestic bird. Even Maya has to admire her beauty, but Secmeton goes on. “As I Normal Summoned her, I’ll add a high Level WATER monster to my hand. And now, I destroy Sinister Serpent and my last Oyster Token to Special Summon it! Arise, True King Bahrastos, the Fathomer (ATK 1800)!” A purple wyrm behemoth descends unto the field.

“With his arrival comes his effect. Bahrastos, banish Maya’s backrow!” And so Maya’s Charm of Lamentation and facedown Trap Card vaporize. “You had Blazing Mirror Force waiting for me. Too bad.” Secmeton gloats. “Your nightmare has just begun. I overlay Grand Heron and Bahrastos to Xyz Summon True King Of All Calamities (ATK 3000)!” Both monsters collapse to form an interdimensional portal, bringing out a larger Behemoth as black as outer space, and now Maya understands Secmeton’s real strategy.

“I detach 1 Material to make your Siren DARK Attribute.” Secmeton says. His beast roars, spreading an aura of dark waves throughout the field, making the Siren shudder and cracking her face-screen. This worries Maya, since not only will her Siren’s effects be shut down while it’s on the field but in the Graveyard too.

“True King, destroy Clothon!” Secmeton commands. Like a dragon, his monster destroys its foe with a blast from its mouth, forcing Maya to shield herself from the ricochets of the onslaught. (Maya LP 5000 → 200) “I set a card.”

Maya is astonished Secmeton knows of the other Sirens but knows better than the show it. Secmeton seems to read her, for he explains himself, “Clothon is most likely a reference to Clotho, one of the three Fates. You probably have a Lachesis and an Atropos buried in your Deck. Did you think I’d let you off the hook that easily, you fiend?”

“And you knew of my Siren’s effect how?” Maya asks.

“I read the card.” Secmeton tersely replies.

“I’m astonished.” Maya remarks dryly. “Villains in this franchise don’t do that.”

“I do not believe I am the villain in this story.” Secmeton says darkly, the implied insult as obvious as a black cloud before rain.

“You’re right.” Maya chides him. “You’re a minor antagonist at best.”

“You’re wrong. I am your destroyer, the man who will put your wicked designs to an early end.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

MAYA’S TURN: As her turn starts, Maya contemplates her position. True King puts a big damp on her Sirens. She will either have to go around it or drain it of Xyz Material, the source of its power. Ah, how annoying. The old man is as much of a killjoy as Squidward is.

Never mind. Maya says, “I Normal Summon Stygian Drag Racer (ATK 1650)!” A daredevil in a flaming car speeds its way to the field, the engine howling like a savage beast. “I banish it to use its effect, letting me send a Fiend from my Deck to the Graveyard.” The monster speeds off again to enter a new dimension.

“Now I banish the Fiend I milled, Stygian Street Patrol, to Special Summon Celestial Siren Atropon.” The second Siren, colored red and revealing the eyeless visage of a young virgin, appears, but meekly and curled up in a defensive posture (DEF 0). “I set a card and activate Card of Demise. I draw five cards.”

“But five turns later you lose your hand.” Secmeton finishes for her. “Let that fact seal your fate.”

“You wish. I set two cards and end my turn.”

SECMETON’S TURN: “The game is mine now! I win!” Secmeton declares. “I drew a good omen! – But first I return Sinister Serpent to my hand. – I activate Pot of Greed!”

“I’m sorry but what does that card do again?” Maya asks, pretending to look confused. “I forgot.”

“It lets me draw two more cards from my Deck.” Secmeton explains with all the seriousness you would expect from a man like him. “I Normal Summon Abyss Soldier and discard Sinister Serpent to bounce your facedown card.” An undersea warrior with a whale’s head rises to the surface and gets rid of the troublesome card with the power of its magic trident.

Maya is not too happy. Activating that very card, Solemn Judgment, would have been suicidal.

Secmeton carries on his scheme. “I detach 1 Material for True King to negate your Siren’s effect and I call the DARK Attribute!” – “This is it!” Maya says to herself at this key moment. – His behemoth roars again, rattling Maya’s monster to her core. “Then I activate Monster Reborn!”

“I counter with Vanity’s Emptiness!” Maya rebukes him. “As your opponent, I declare you invalid!”

“A bold claim, but it won’t hold up. I won’t bother to defeat your worthless monster. I’ll just Snatch Steal her!” He equips the Spell Card to Maya’s monster, forcing her to leave her post. “Your monster has betrayed you to my cause and your field is open. This is how you will die, abandoned and alone. My monsters, attack Maya directly!”

Secmeton’s monsters strike their foe with the blunt force of a trident and the blast of flames, throwing Maya unto the ground with her limbs spread out. (Maya LP 5000 —> 200)

Suddenly, the ceiling above them cracks wide open as Yukio and Mathias land next to the combatants, still blazing with the power of their Ka energy. Maya groans; she is not too happy that her comrades get to see her in such an unflattering position. Maya says to herself, “If this goes on, I’ll be six fathoms under.”