Duel 9 – Valiant Effort
Mathias: 3400 | Weevil: 6200
WEEVIL’S TURN: “I draw!” Perfect, exactly the card he hoped for to make a perfect victory! “I activate my two Fruitflies to steal Odin and Thor.” Watching his great monsters controlled by someone as weak as Weevil gives Mathias something close to heartbreak, something he had not felt in nearly a century. Even the old masters Pegasus and Kaiba see the move in shock; Pegasus is pleasantly bemused while Kaiba seethes at the blasphemy of Weevil controlling god cards.
“I activate Odin and Thor’s effects to protect them.” Weevil watches his gods bathe the field in their magic with a contentment alien to him for many years. “Naturia Exterio, destroy Mathis’ facedown monster!” The turquoise king of beasts rips apart a tiny rodent hiding underneath the facedown card like a burrow.
“You triggered Super-Nimble Mega Hamster, letting me summon Tanngrisnir of the Nordic Beasts from my Deck.” Mathias explains as he plays another monster facedown. Weevil commands Thor to smash the card with its fist, squashing the poor goat flat, which lets Mathias Summon two Nordic Beast Tokens. Annoyed, Weevil has Odin throw one of the Nordic Beasts out of the arena, and decides to add insult to injury.
“You will never get your Nordic Gods back; I tribute Odin and Thor to Summon Insect Empress!” The giant Nordic Gods dissipate into a winter storm of hail and snow as a queen ant of titanic size takes all the space in Weevil’s field. Weevil adjusts his glasses as he is wont to do whenever he thinks himself to be clever. “See, I was very careful to keep all Insects in my Graveyard, because my Empress gains 200 ATK for each Insect in my field and my Graveyard; thus the Empress claims 3800 ATK to her name.”
MATHIAS’ TURN: Pegasus and Kaiba are in further shock; Pegasus more bemused than ever as if tricked in a silly prank, Kaiba more outraged than ever; to think a cockroach like Weevil could throw away two gods like they were nothing. What was Yugioh coming to!
Mathias declares to his opponent, “I should praise you for taking control of the Nordic Gods but letting go of them was a huge mistake. I activate Monster Reborn to revive Thor!”
“Oh no you don’t; I counter with Exterio to negate it!” Weevil banishes a card in his Graveyard and mills a card for its cost.
“I counter it with Divine Wrath, one of my favorite cards! I discard a card to negate and destroy Exterio!” A single bolt of lightning strikes the mighty beast down, leaving only ashes behind, as if the Nordic Gods themselves punished Weevil. “Thor, arise!” Mathias completes his ritual, and once more the hammer-wielding giant stands tall as Weevil, and Rex, melt into a puddle of tears.
Maya wafts the air to her nose with her hands as if she cooked a master chef’s dish and circles the fingers of her left hand. Classic antimeta in action. She can almost taste poor Bug Boy’s tears. They must be delicious. As for the look on Kaiba’s face; he looks like he took a laxative for once.
Weevil did not give up yet. “I’ll banish your precious Thor with Bottomless Trap Hole!” But he sells himself short as his trap simply vanishes in thin air. When Weevil cannot figure out why, Mathias clues him in, “Your Fruitflies lowered Thor’s ATK so low your trap couldn’t banish him.
“If I may continue, before I was so rudely interrupted.” I Tribute my Nordic Beast Token to Summon Draugalf of the Nordic Alfar from my Graveyard, as I discarded it through Divine Wrath, and use its effect to revive my Tanngrisnir.” A dark, undead elf devours and dissolves the Nordic Beast as it resurrects itself, bringing back a white goat with it. “I activate Phantom Knight Gloves, the first monster you destroyed, banishing it from the Graveyard to mill The Phantom Knight of Ancient Cloak, and then I activate it to banish it to add The Phantom Knight of Silent Boots to my hand, and I Summon it.” A ghostly and silent ninja slips out of the darkness into the light.
“I tune Draugalf, Tanngrisnir, and Silent Boots to Synchro Summon Loki, Lord of the Aesir!” Mathias’ monsters rise to the heavens and the trickster god condescends to grace his field in exchange for the sacrifices. “I activate Thor’s effect!” To which the hammer-wielding god smashes the field, crippling all of Weevil’s insects, allowing the Nordic Gods to regain their full strength. “Thor, destroy the Queen!”
Weevil has one more card up his sleeve. “I play Golemgoroth’s Roar and sacrifice all my Fruitflies!” His empress of Insects ruthlessly, gruesomely devoured her servants to gain unfrequented strength.
“You’re Empress will gain 4500 ATK in the process; so Loki, negate that trap!” The Nordic God zaps her with an aerosol can he conjured from thin air, the empress shriveling away from the poison. “Raid, kills them dead.” Loki seems to have a sense of humor too; he even gestures to Thor, as if letting him finally attack, to which the gruff, no-nonsense Thor gladly did, dramatically using his hammer as a fly swatter to finish the job. (Weevil LP 6200 à 4900) “Loki, strike Weevil directly!”
“OH NOOOO!!!” Weevil raves in complete horror and disbelief, his hands and mouth locked into a pose from The Scream painting, before Loki shocks him into a dizzy mess with a jolt of black magic from its finger, making Weevil twitch as an insect sprayed with a can of Raid. (Weevil LP 4900 à 1500)
WEEVIL’S TURN: But Weevil still persists. “I set a card facedown and end my turn.”
MATHIAS’ TURN: “I activate Thor’s effect, now Thor, attack his facedown!” The burly god eagerly smashed a Naturia Cherry flat, turning it to jam. This let Weevil Summon two more Naturia Cherry facedown, and Mathias forces Loki to make quick work of one of them. “I set a card facedown. Make your last turn count, Bug Boy.”
WEEVIL’S TURN: “I am the strongest, the most resilient creature there is, like the cockroach. I will survive, and no matter what happens I will always come back to annoy you like the pest I am!”
“You got it, Weevil!” Rex jumped and shouted from the sidelines. “Show him whose boss!”
“Um, nobody has compared themselves to a cockroach like it was a good thing, but if it works for you, dude, sure. Whatever.” Mathias must concede this odd self-praise as beyond his understanding.
“I activate Monster Reborn to Summon Naturia Mosquito from my Graveyard!” The typical ankh appears on the field and resurrects a cute mosquito with wide cartoon eyes. Mathias wondered for a second when he last saw the Mosquito but soon realized Weevil milled it when he played Naturia Marron on his very first turn. He concedes to Weevil again; that was pretty clever.
Weevil explains his plan, “Mosquito is weak but any battle damage from a Naturia monster goes back to you, meaning you’ll lose the duel. Naturia Mosquito, attack Thor!” His petty bug rushes over to annoy the stern warrior Nordic God. The audience is truly tense as this is the third time today it seemed like Weevil would actually win. The world truly becomes upside down. Cats chase dogs. Weevil is a champion. Trump isn’t president. Israel and Palestine coexist in peace.
Time to end the party, setting things right; Mathias reveals his trap, “I play Skill Drain; I pay 1000 Life to negate all monster effects.” (Mathias LP 3400 à 2400) Thor swats the mosquito with his hammer in comical fury, putting Weevil’s ambitions to rest. (Weevil LP 1500 à 0)
Mathias: 2400 | Weevil: 0
Isono thrust his hand in the air; the referee announced, “Mathias Blackheart wins the second quarterfinal duel! Duelists, let the sun decide the next two contestants!” The remaining four finalists did as they were told; the sun decreed that Stella Nova duel against Tamas Vargas.
Tamas showed little interest, flicking away dirt from his nails. He seemed to speak more to himself than the outside world. “I’m lucky to face women in my next two duels. Beating them won’t be hard; I’d rather duel a retard like Weevil if I wanted a challenge.”