Yugioh Endgame: Duel 9 – Deep and Dirty

Secmeton summons the Millennium Necklace. The sacred Item leaves its sanctuary from inside the Momentum and lands on Secmeton’s open palm. The duel disk flies on command to the other palm of its master. Almost all the lights above shut out and the dark room becomes even darker. The shadow game begins. Secmeton says to Maya, “I will never forgive you for treating human life so shamefully. You will pay dearly for your folly.”   

MAYA: 8000 || Secmeton: 8000

MAYA’S TURN: “Talk about the wastewater plant calling the sewer black.” Maya retorts. “Challenger goes first! I end my turn.” Maya’s tone is so careless it looks like has made a mistake.

SECMETON’S TURN: “You can’t be serious! After all your blustering, blistering, festering words, you end your turn with an open field!” Secmeton fumes. “I’ll make sure your glib attitude costs you the duel!”

His luck this draw can not be any better. “I reveal and activate Rank-Up Magic – The Seventh One!” Maya is mildly surprised seeing such good fortune. “Using its power, I Xyz Summon Number 101: Silent Honor ARK (ATK 2100), and immediately overlay it to Xyz Summon Number C101: Silent Honor DARK (ATK 2800)!” An advanced submarine appears, then transforms into a trident wielding warrior of the deep.

The whole sequence takes place within the effect of a single Spell Card, letting him Special Summon from his Extra Deck more than once, bypassing the normal limit. What can Maya say; rules are meant to be broken.  

“I activate Graceful Charity!” Secmeton continues, drawing three cards and discarding two. His preparation for a powerful combo is complete. “I use Premature Burial, paying 800 Life to resurrect Superancient Deepsea King Coelacanth (ATK 2600), and I discard a card to use his effect! Arise from my Deck, three units of Oyster Meister (1600 ATK) and Royal Swamp Eel (ATK 1700)!” A fish hundreds of millions of years old the size of a whale returns among the living, bringing with it an aquatic battalion. (Secmeton LP 8000 → 7200)

“Then, I sacrifice the three Oyster Meisters and Royal Swamp Eel to Tribute Summon Dreadnaught Fortress Whale!” The battalion vanishes, allowing a whale with a gunned fortress on its back to take its place, a whale so big it takes the size of the whole chamber, absorbing the total strength of all the forces sacrificed to make its summoning possible (ATK 6500). Yet the three Oyster Meister monsters are not completely gone, leaving behind three Oyster Tokens (DEF 0).

“Observe, the ocean has heaved her bosom and brought forth all the forces of the deep to my side. My mistress serves me and me alone. And now for the final catch. You took me lightly at your peril. All monsters, attack Maya! Kill her!” The ocean’s greatest monsters lunch to strike, bite, and gun Maya down.

“I activate Stygian Ghost Jockey (DEF 1350) in my hand to Special Summon it!” Maya slaps her card down like her life depends on it, since it does. The ghostly skeletons of a horse and rider form out of smoke, and with it arrive the spirits of two Tokens of similar appearance (DEF 0). Hardly do they appear when Secmeton’s forces send them back to the grave.

Maya scolds her opponent, “You had a god draw and an OTK combo, only for me to waste both with one little card. What a shame.”

Secmeton grits his teeth in anguish. “You! You arrogant termagant vituperator! You killed my son! How dare you frustrate my vengeance!” He wishes more than anything to stab Maya in the guts and rip them out but cheating in a shadow game means certain death. He can only set a card face-down.” With the end of his turn, Maya must banish her Stygian Ghost Jockey from the Graveyard.

MAYA’S TURN: “My turn! I’ll do more damage with two cards than you did in ten! I activate Quantum Stargate! I’ll use its power to Special Summon a monster with 0 ATK and 0 DEF from my Deck!”

“What!?” Secmeton exclaims in shock. “How could you do anything with such a weak monster?”

“I’ll show you. I Summon Celestial Siren Clothon!” Some thing teleports to the field from light years away, what looks an empty blue-colored suit of armor that can be worn by a  mermaid warrior of sorts. Yet it has six arms and a large mirror-like screen at the center; within it Secmeton sees the eyeless face of an old crone.

“What on earth -”

But Secmeton does not have time to finish. “I activate Charm of Lamentation. And now,” Maya commands. “Clothon, attack the Dreadnaught Fortress Whale!” The Siren obeys, using her six arms to bewitch the ocean behemoth into attacking her.

“But my monster has 6500 ATK!” Secmeton gasps in shock. What scheme is Maya is plotting to subvert his great whale monster? He has no time to ponder the mystery. He must act on instinct. “I activate Half-Shut on my monster!” The move cuts the ATK of Dreadnaught Fortress Whale in half (ATK 6500 → 3250). Still, the whale strikes its target with its massive turrets. Clothon easily makes the missiles explode before hitting her with an invisible barrier, absorbing their power, then striking Secmeton directly with a snowstorm of equal force. (Secmeton LP 7200 → 3950)

Secmeton’s old body cows under the blow, but the old man does not bend the knee. “Good instincts.” Maya acknowledges, and Secmeton decides to take the compliment. “But I’m not done torturing you this turn. I can draw an extra card with Charm of Lamentation. Since your monster lives, my attack was technically a failure.”

“You’re inability to destroy my monster in battle reveals your weakness.” Secmeton says.

Maya returns his comment with a wide grin. “Destroying monsters by battle is so Duelist Kingdom, as is sending them to the Graveyard in general. My Siren’s true power reveals itself now. I gave you three thousand plus damage, so Clothon will return three cards you control to your Deck: Silent Honor DARK, Dreadnaught Fortress Whale, and Premature Burial. Clothon, dust the field!” Maya’s monster conjures another snowstorm, sweeping away the eyesores.

“You got rid of Coelacanth by removing Premature Burial from the field.” Secmeton mumbles to himself, not to Maya, as his great fish dissolves to dust. “If you targeted it, I might have been able to counter your Siren.”

“I set a card.” Maya concludes blandly in anticlimax. “Your move, old man.”

But Secmeton does not move. Warm salty tears fall down his crusted old cheeks and into his white beard as he stares at the head of his son Maya so callously threw at the floor. He cannot move.

“Come on. Move.” Maya kicks the floor in boredom as if she was kicking an old dog to get up. “Believe it or not, people are dying all around us right now. You’re lucky we’re just playing a boring card game.”

Secmeton trembles in rage, crying, “You killed my son! How can you demand an old man wracked with the grief of the death of his only begotten son to confront you in battle!” He howls into the air.

Maya rolls her eyes and sneers, “I expected more than token resistance from a high mage.”

“You killed my only son!”

“Then act like it!” Maya berates him. “I didn’t sacrifice several hundred men or an afternoon for cazuela to hear you cry. You think you’re a unique individual? Several hundred fathers will weep more than you ever will for the violent deaths of their sons. Your misery will be short. Now stop ruining my willing suspension of disbelief and fight me like a man who actually lost everything!”

“You do not know what it feels like to lose your only begotten son!” Secmeton wails in protest, falling to his knees.

“You’re right; I don’t.” Maya admits, however, “I know this; if you killed my son, I’d fight for my life to kill you, even in a children’s card game.

This makes old Secmeton recovers his wits. He uses his duel disk to upload information on Maya’s Siren monster, studying all her traits, then gets up upon finding a good strategy.

SECMETON’S TURN: “I return a Sinister Serpent residing in my Graveyard to my hand. I tribute two of my Oyster Tokens to Tribute Summon Grand Heron (ATK 2000)!” Out comes the majestic bird. Even Maya has to admire her beauty, but Secmeton goes on. “As I Normal Summoned her, I’ll add a high Level WATER monster to my hand. And now, I destroy Sinister Serpent and my last Oyster Token to Special Summon it! Arise, True King Bahrastos, the Fathomer (ATK 1800)!” A purple wyrm behemoth descends unto the field.

“With his arrival comes his effect. Bahrastos, banish Maya’s backrow!” And so Maya’s Charm of Lamentation and facedown Trap Card vaporize. “You had Blazing Mirror Force waiting for me. Too bad.” Secmeton gloats. “Your nightmare has just begun. I overlay Grand Heron and Bahrastos to Xyz Summon True King Of All Calamities (ATK 3000)!” Both monsters collapse to form an interdimensional portal, bringing out a larger Behemoth as black as outer space, and now Maya understands Secmeton’s real strategy.

“I detach 1 Material to make your Siren DARK Attribute.” Secmeton says. His beast roars, spreading an aura of dark waves throughout the field, making the Siren shudder and cracking her face-screen. This worries Maya, since not only will her Siren’s effects be shut down while it’s on the field but in the Graveyard too.

“True King, destroy Clothon!” Secmeton commands. Like a dragon, his monster destroys its foe with a blast from its mouth, forcing Maya to shield herself from the ricochets of the onslaught. (Maya LP 5000 → 200) “I set a card.”

Maya is astonished Secmeton knows of the other Sirens but knows better than the show it. Secmeton seems to read her, for he explains himself, “Clothon is most likely a reference to Clotho, one of the three Fates. You probably have a Lachesis and an Atropos buried in your Deck. Did you think I’d let you off the hook that easily, you fiend?”

“And you knew of my Siren’s effect how?” Maya asks.

“I read the card.” Secmeton tersely replies.

“I’m astonished.” Maya remarks dryly. “Villains in this franchise don’t do that.”

“I do not believe I am the villain in this story.” Secmeton says darkly, the implied insult as obvious as a black cloud before rain.

“You’re right.” Maya chides him. “You’re a minor antagonist at best.”

“You’re wrong. I am your destroyer, the man who will put your wicked designs to an early end.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

MAYA’S TURN: As her turn starts, Maya contemplates her position. True King puts a big damp on her Sirens. She will either have to go around it or drain it of Xyz Material, the source of its power. Ah, how annoying. The old man is as much of a killjoy as Squidward is.

Never mind. Maya says, “I Normal Summon Stygian Drag Racer (ATK 1650)!” A daredevil in a flaming car speeds its way to the field, the engine howling like a savage beast. “I banish it to use its effect, letting me send a Fiend from my Deck to the Graveyard.” The monster speeds off again to enter a new dimension.

“Now I banish the Fiend I milled, Stygian Street Patrol, to Special Summon Celestial Siren Atropon.” The second Siren, colored red and revealing the eyeless visage of a young virgin, appears, but meekly and curled up in a defensive posture (DEF 0). “I set a card and activate Card of Demise. I draw five cards.”

“But five turns later you lose your hand.” Secmeton finishes for her. “Let that fact seal your fate.”

“You wish. I set two cards and end my turn.”

SECMETON’S TURN: “The game is mine now! I win!” Secmeton declares. “I drew a good omen! – But first I return Sinister Serpent to my hand. – I activate Pot of Greed!”

“I’m sorry but what does that card do again?” Maya asks, pretending to look confused. “I forgot.”

“It lets me draw two more cards from my Deck.” Secmeton explains with all the seriousness you would expect from a man like him. “I Normal Summon Abyss Soldier and discard Sinister Serpent to bounce your facedown card.” An undersea warrior with a whale’s head rises to the surface and gets rid of the troublesome card with the power of its magic trident.

Maya is not too happy. Activating that very card, Solemn Judgment, would have been suicidal.

Secmeton carries on his scheme. “I detach 1 Material for True King to negate your Siren’s effect and I call the DARK Attribute!” – “This is it!” Maya says to herself at this key moment. – His behemoth roars again, rattling Maya’s monster to her core. “Then I activate Monster Reborn!”

“I counter with Vanity’s Emptiness!” Maya rebukes him. “As your opponent, I declare you invalid!”

“A bold claim, but it won’t hold up. I won’t bother to defeat your worthless monster. I’ll just Snatch Steal her!” He equips the Spell Card to Maya’s monster, forcing her to leave her post. “Your monster has betrayed you to my cause and your field is open. This is how you will die, abandoned and alone. My monsters, attack Maya directly!”

Secmeton’s monsters strike their foe with the blunt force of a trident and the blast of flames, throwing Maya unto the ground with her limbs spread out. (Maya LP 5000 —> 200)

Suddenly, the ceiling above them cracks wide open as Yukio and Mathias land next to the combatants, still blazing with the power of their Ka energy. Maya groans; she is not too happy that her comrades get to see her in such an unflattering position. Maya says to herself, “If this goes on, I’ll be six fathoms under.”

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Yugioh the Dark Dimension – Duel 11

Duel 11 – Why Netdeckers Should Be Shot

Tamas nearly shits himself seeing such a long-winded turn, and one that achieved so much, nearly breaking his whole deck. It might as well have done so, since Chaofeng, Stella’s ace dragon, negates all his EARTH monsters, meaning all his Zoodiacs are useless, and furthermore, it is shielded by a marathon of prevention Effects inherited from all the lesser Yang Zing dragons that gave their lives to bring their king into being.

Mathias, feeling a little naughty, gives Stella the left-handed comment, “Impressive combo and lock you got there. Maya would be proud.”

And Maya decides to add salt to the wound with, “I hope Chaofeng is not all you got, like when Sophia murdered you back in Egypt; I’d be disappointed otherwise.”

“You’re serious!” Stella is flabbergasted. “Chaofeng is the boss monster of the entire Yang Zing archetype; what more could you possibly want?”

“I want you as the ace, not one stupid monster or stupid archetype, and you know exactly what I’m talking about. You’d better give it to me this duel.”

“I’ll give it to you when we duel, and so much more.”

Now Mathias is confused. “What esoteric gibberish are you two shouting now? Just by your code language I know you two were lovers.”

Maya brings upon herself to explain the details, “Me and Stella used to drink lots of coffee together along with ——– and ——–, and after these sessions we would talk about how to improve this stupid card game, how to take roguedecking, as it were, to the next level. I don’t know about Stella, but regarding me, it is top secret.” She then shouts at her estranged ex-girlfriend, “You better have some antimeta or something interesting or I will climb up there and smack you myself.”

“Burn in Hell.” Stella rebukes her.

“I heard Hell’s pretty lit. You should join me.”

“It’s a pretty big room for you two.” Mathias comments. “You should get it.”

“Can I join in?” Tamas offers.

“NO!”

TAMAS’ TURN: “Aww.” Tamas pretends to groan in self-pity. He draws, which is exactly the right card he needs! “Raigeki!” he shouts as he activates his card, and all of Stella’s monsters die under the stroke of a single thunderbolt.

“COME ON! I WORKED SO HARD FOR THIS FIELD!” Stella shouts in disbelief, her hands on her head.

Even the stoic Kaiba throws shade at such a cheap and easy play, and declares that starting next year he will join the game once more and drag Yugi himself back kicking and screaming if he has too. The metagame as become cancer for much too long, and while he commends Maya and Stella for their efforts at turning Yugioh back into a kind of art, it is too little too late. Next year, he will muck the floor with every netdecker who ever lived!

Though Stella has suffered a heavy blow, she is far from dead, as her cards, even her dead monsters, unleash all of their Effects. Thus Stella declares, one after the next, “Supply Squad, Chaofeng, Li’bao, and my triggered Permanent Trap Yang Zing Creation, all go off, in this order: I draw a card from Supply Squad, add a Wyrm from Deck to hand from Chaofeng, kill your Drident from Li’bao, and Special Summon a Yang Zing monster from my Deck with Yang Zing Creation!”

“Bitch, you’re such a faggot, you know that?” Tamas falls to throwing slurs again. “I play Cosmic Cyclone to banish your Creation!” And so Tamas pays 1000 Life so his space cyclone can disintegrate Stella’s card. But Tamas, much to his chagrin, cannot stop any of Stella’s other cards, not even the targeting effect of her hunter, as using Decode Talker’s effect would lose his Drident anyway; and that is how Li’bao the cheetah hunter pierced the chief Zoodiac’s heart with a burning arrow. Tamas minds little of it, as he can easily replace her.

Stella pounces on her narrow window of chance, “I activate Dimension Barrier, and call Xyz Monsters! No more Zoodiacs this turn.”

“Shrill women like you are cancer. You should go back to blogging at Jezebel from where you came from.” The annoyed Tamas exclaims.

“For once I agree.” Maya enjoins him, just to piss Stella off.

Tamas rejoins the duel. “I Normal Summon Zoodiac Thoroughblade, and use its Effect.” A fiery man-horse wield an exceptionally long and broad sword gallops into the fray, and Tamas discards a Zoodiac card to draw a new card. “Decode Talker, Thoroughblade, hit Stella directly!” The monsters cleave at Stella with their mighty strength, but Stella survives the assault. (Stella LP 4000 à 100)

“Dammit! I almost got you! I set a card facedown and end my turn. It’s not like you can do anything anyway.”

STELLA’S TURN: Stella draws, and remarks, “Maya, you wanted me to use some antimeta. Well, I did, but that won’t kill Tamas. I’ll prove you wrong, as you are with many things, with something more interesting. I Normal Summon Zoodiac Ratpier!” And behold, Stella’s own rat warrior takes her stance.

“Hypocrite, hypocrite, hypocrite! Netdecker, netdecker!” Tamas is so shocked and offended he can only blabber.

“Oh settle down already, you spastic virginal twerp. I use Raptier’s Effect to mill another Ratpier, then overlay her to Xyz Summon Zoodiac Drident, and use her effect to pop your Thoroughblade.” Stella’s one Zoodiac transforms into another one, and this new fighter thrusts her trident to slay Tamas’ monster. “I overlay Drident to Xyz Summon Zoodiac Chakanine, and use her effect to revive the second Ratpier,” The dog fighter replaces the tigress, and through her magical skills resurrects the second Ratpier. “I overlay Chakanine to Xyz Summon Zoodiac Tigermortar and detach the Chakanine Material to attach my dead Ratpier to it, and use its other Effect (given by the Ratpier Material) to Special Summon another Zoodiac Ratpier from my Deck.” And so another rat warrior assumes a ready stance. “Then I overlay Tigermortar to Xyz Summon another Zoodiac Chakanine, and use her effect to revive the last Ratpier.” Another dog warrior appears and the last Ratpier with her.”

“This neat little engine just gave me 4 Materials, so I will use them all to Link Summon Borreload Dragon!” Her Zoodiacs she worked so hard to get into play dissolved into four marker arrows, a gateway forming in their middle, and a fearsome dragon of scarlet and deep blue arrives. “Borreload, attack Decoy Talker.” Her dragon assaults the digital knight, but with a killing breath, but a toxic one, brainwashing it to her side. “Now, both monsters, finish Tamas off!” The knight slices at Tamas’, hitting him hard, but the dragon is not so lucky. (Tamas LP 3000 à 700)

Tamas reveals his Trap, “I activate Xyz Reborn, reviving Drident and attaching the Trap to her as Material, then detach it to kill Borreload.” His dragon lady revives, brandishing her trident, ready for revenge; she lunges at Stella’s dragon.

“I use your Decode Talker’s Effect, sacrificing my Borreload to destroy Drident!” Stella counters, her mighty dragon vanishing, her new monster impaling Tamas’ best Zoodiac, sending the dragon lady to a shallow grave once more. “I set two cards facedown.” Stella ends her turn.

Tamas, shocked at such a timely play, falls to foul shouting and cursing at Stella. Pegasus covers his dainty ears, refusing to hear such fowl language while Kaiba, annoyed, chips in his broadcasters with the microphone in his trenchcoat, ordering them to censor Tamas straightaway.

Mathias nudges Maya gentle on the shoulder, whispering, “That was amazing, wasn’t it?”

Maya shrugs in distain. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. I thought Tamas channeled Bandit Keith from beyond the grave. Maybe he’s a psychic; he should help Jolene with her astrology nonsense.”

“Playing hard to get won’t win Stella back.”

“You assume I care about Stella; I don’t, at all.” Though Maya doesn’t admit it, Stella’s brilliant move does touch her heart with fire, the same fire she felt a few years ago that made her fall in love with Stella to begin with. Stella used Tamas’ own cards, his own hackneyed archetype, for a unique strategy and, to add the icing to the cake, threw them away as the fodder they are to bring out a higher monster. Maya would applaud Stella, but then remembers that she hates her.

TAMAS’ TURN: “I’ve had it with your ‘rogue’ Deck insulting me, bitch faggot noob! I’m going for the ultimate Zoodiac Combo” Tamas’ humility (or lack thereof) is put to its short limit, while Stella perks her ears at “ultimate Zoodiac Combo”, knowing exactly the well-known tactic Tamas would play next.

“I activate Zoodiac Combo in my Graveyard, which I sent there by Thoroughblade’s Effect; I banish it to return all my 5 Zoodiac Xyz Monsters to my Deck and draw a card. Then I Normal Summon Zoodiac Bunnyblast, now overlay her to Xyz Summon Zoodiac Hammerkong, Zoodiac Tigermortar, Zoodiac Broadbull, Zoodiac Chakanine, and Zoodiac Drident. Then I Xyz Summon all their second copies from my Deck, and finally I Xyz Summon Zoodiac Boarbow!” The parade of double Zoodiac animals commences its procession on Tamas’ field, climaxing with the arrival of a boar archer, aiming his arrow at Stella’s heart. Yes, it holds only 500 ATK but that meager strength is enough to take out all of Stella’s Life.

Stella, taut as a wire, springs in a pinch. “I activate Great Horn of Heaven!” The cornucopia horn appears, then blasts Tamas’ best monster with the power of its notes, yet Tamas draws a card from its drawback Effect. Stella lets herself smile for the first time this duel, saying, “You won’t be attacking me directly with Boarbow this turn, let alone even battling since I skipped your Main Phase.”

“Another batman gambit. I’m impressed.” Comments Maya to Mathias.

Tamas grovels, setting two cards facedown, calling his turn over.

STELLA’S TURN: Stella draws, seizing her chance. “I destroy two monsters in my hand to Special Summon Mariamne, the True Dracophoenix!” A lithe and airy dragon of six wings of gauzy feathers makes her graceful landing, and since Stella destroyed Yang Zing monsters, she brings out Suanni, Fire of the Yang Zing and Bi’an, Earth of the Yang Zing (and draws a card from Supply Squad).

“I activate Dimensional Barrier!” Tamas declares. “And I declare…”

“Yes, declare what?” Stella inquires, eager for victory.

Tamas cannot decide what kind of Extra Deck monster to choose, because Stella does not need any Extra Deck monster. And Tamas’ other card? A Solemn Strike he cannot play for he lacks the Life to pay for it.

“That’s what I thought. All monsters, direct attack! End the duel!” Stella’s monsters all blow away their target at once, throwing Tamas off the arena.

Stella concludes the duel, “Easy come, easy go. Good riddance.”

Tamas: 0 | Stella: 700

—————————————————-

Xiaoyi watched every duel so far in her hotel room back in Egypt, guzzling down popcorn and wiping the butter oil on her white dress where her breasts were, without a care in the world. She couldn’t wait to see Maya’s duel coming up next, eagerly wondering what her super secret new strategies were, then pondered with sarcastic thought if she, as a Chinese-American woman, should be offended by all of Stella’s and Tamas’ “cultural appropriation”. She couldn’t care less over something so little, as opposed to all the truly offensive things she did over the last two weeks.

Why, she counted with her fingers, she brainwashed a vulnerable young man, instigated a brutal dictatorship resulting in the deaths of thousands, pulled the strings of a resurgent crime syndicate resulting in more pointless deaths, killed a few Egyptian soldiers, killed Matthew’s girlfriend, tricked her “master” into going along with her scheme while thinking it was his the whole time, then she finally killed him. That made four acts of fraud on one hand and three acts of violence on the other. But wait! She was still committing her final fraud.

At the moment three policemen knocked on the door; investigating the murder of one Gernand de Laclos lead them to this apartment. Xiaoyi took off her only piece of clothing and lewdly kissed the chief officer, bidding him to taste the tight, petite, and sweet woman they could only mail order from Thailand, and only in their pathetic dreams. The cops easily lost to the temptation, all of them falling for her, wherein they re-enacted the groping they had done to a woman a few months ago while pretending to conduct a body search, this time finishing the job they privately longed to do for so long; Xiaoyi herself thoroughly enjoyed their silly fantasy, even discharging before they did. As soon as the men expired, losing all their steam, Xiaoyi instantly slit their thoughts as if they were cattle; now her fantasy was complete.

Xiaoyi sighed in disappointment, watching three pools of blood soak the hotel carpet – make that four acts of violence so far, still an underachiever – Now she had to clean the mess she made and get out of the country before she was arrested, an inconvenience that annoyed her enough to throw a small tantrum. That these stupid cops would pooh-pooh on her watching Maya’s duel live on television!