Once per turn: during your opponent’s Battle Phase; you can banish 1 Dinosaur monster from your Deck. Target 1 face-up monster your opponent controls: halve its ATK and DEF. That monster must attack, if able.
During your Standby Phase: you can return 1 Dinosaur monster banished by this card’s effect from your Banished Zone to your hand.
N. Raptor MaXVI – Galapagos WATER / LINK 2 / Dinosaur / ATK 2300 / bottom-left, bottom-right LINK: 2 Dinosaur monsters
Once per turn: if a card is activated; you can negate its effect and Set it face-down in one of your Spell/Trap Card Zones.
You can banish 1 Set card on your field originally controlled by your opponent. Banish up to 4 Dinosaur monsters from your Graveyard and Special Summon 1 Level 4 or lower Dinosaur monster from your Deck for each 2 Dinosaur monsters banished from your Graveyard by this card’s effect.
If Summoned: you can add 1 Ritual Spell from your Deck to your hand, and add 1 “N. Raptor” Ritual Monster from your Deck to your hand whose name is listed on that Ritual Spell.
If you Ritual Summon an “N. Raptor” Ritual Monster, this card can be used as the entire Tribute.
Prime Origin Offering Ritual Spell
Tribute Dinosaur monsters from your hand or field OR banish Dinosaur monsters from your Graveyard with total Levels equal to 8 or more: Ritual Summon 1 “N. Raptor” Ritual Monster from your hand.
N. Raptor MaXII – Madagascar FIRE / Level 8 / Dinosaur / ATK 3000 / DEF 2500 RITUAL: Prime Origin Offering
If Ritual Summoned: you can target 3 cards in your opponent’s Graveyard; Set them in 3 of your Spell/Trap Card Zones.
If removed from the field: you can banish 1 Set card originally controlled by your opponent and 1 Dinosaur from your Graveyard; Special Summon this card from your hand, Deck, or Graveyard (ignoring Summoning conditions).
Egger Planter Normal Spell
Banish 2 Set cards originally controlled by your opponent. Draw 2 cards.
N. D. Traveler WIND / Level 3 / Winged Beast / Tuner / ATK 300 / DEF 1300
Once per Duel: if this card is banished, you can immediately Special Summon it.
During either player’s turn: you can shuffle the required monsters from your field and Banished Zone in the Deck to Fusion Summon 1 “N. Raptor” Fusion Monster.
N. Raptor MaXI – Britannia WATER / Level 7 / Dinosaur / ATK 2700 / DEF 2300 FUSION: 1 non-Dinosaur monster + 1 or more Dinosaur monsters
When Fusion Summoned: you can destroy cards your opponent controls equal to the number of Dinosaur monsters used as Fusion Materials to Fusion Summon this card.
If a card is activated that would destroy this card; you can negate its effect and Set it face-down in one of your Spell/Trap Card Zones.
Once per turn, during either player’s turn: you can banish 1 Set card originally controlled by your opponent. Double this card’s ATK during the Damage Step only.
When Summoned: you can destroy 1 Dinosaur monster you control; add 1 Dinosaur monster from your Deck to your hand.
Dark Vanishing Act Normal Trap
You can activate this card during the turn more than 1 Level 6 or higher DARK Spellcaster monsters you control are destroyed. Destroy all monsters your opponent controls and inflict damage to your opponent equal to the ATK of the monster with the highest ATK.
Quintet Force Normal Spell
You must control 5 Spellcaster monsters to activate this card. Banish all cards your opponent controls and in your opponent’s hand. When this card resolves, Fusion Summon 1 “Quintet Magician”, if able.
If a Spellcaster monster you control would be destroyed, you can banish this card from your Graveyard. Spellcaster monsters you control cannot be destroyed by card effects this turn.
Wizard’s Mirror Normal Spell
Fusion Summon 1 Spellcaster Fusion Monster from your Extra Deck by banishing Fusion Materials listed on it from your field or Graveyard.
“If I go down, I’m taking you with me!” Sofia snaps, desperate, “I activate Crackdown (Continuous Trap) to take control of Dark Magician of Chaos!” A rope springs from her card, seizing the strongest of magicians, dragging him into the line of fire. Sofia loses her entire field and hand, all banished, but Pandora suffers too; he now only has four monsters.
Pandora wags his finger. “The last vengeful act of a loser. How pathetic! Now I Fusion Summon my ultimate wizard, Quintet -” He realizes he cannot. “Oh.”
Sofia hates smug people but cannot help being smug herself at the moment. “Quintet Force doesn’t give you Quintet Magician until after the card resolves, but now you lack the five Spellcasters needed to Fusion Summon it. I knew from the first turn, watching you swarm the field with Dark Magicians and Dark Magician Girls, that you probably had Quintet Force. Not only that, I activate N.D. Traveler in the Banished Zone, letting me Special Summon it (DEF 1300)!” Her cyborg goldfinch appears.
“Oh no!” Pandora shouts as if in the 4Kids dub.
“Oh yes!” Sofia thrusts her fist in the air. “Damn does it feel good being the guile hero!”
A vindictive Pandora points to the field. “Oh yeah!? I have four monsters; you have one! You lose! Dark Magician, attack!” And his monster gets ready to strike.
Sofia begins her counter attack. “My monster came back from the future not just to look cute. I return it and all my banished Dinosaurs back to the Deck to Fusion Summon N. Raptor MaXI – Britannia (ATK 2700)!” A large, bottom-heavy dinosaur with many different colored spots makes its crash landing, threatening to destroy all of Pandora’s monsters with the force of its impact.
“I banish Quintet Force from my Graveyard!” Pandora creates a blue-tinged magic force field, saving his monsters from a messy demise. “No servant of mine gets crushed, kicked, eaten, or pooped out by a goddamn yoshi!”
“My monsters are not yoshis!” Sofia waxes indignant. “They’re an original concept!”
Pandora scoffs, raising an eyebrow beneath his mask. “They eat things with unrealistically long tongues, they poop spotted eggs, and they come in so many colors they’re probably queer. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, bi, trans, poly, demi, semi, pan, whatever.”
Sofia’s cheeks become crimson. “Are you saying I’m bi?” The paranoid tone of her voice says, “How do you know?” She likes Jolene after all and even shares the same bed with her.
A Ghoul volunteers to break the awkward silence. “I main Yoshi in Smash Bros.” He comments.
“That’s why you suck, bro.” Another Ghoul says.
“Don’t hate, you Fox-maining-no-items-Final-Destination-only tourneyfag!” Retorts the first Ghoul, and the two fiends get into an argument.
“Fantastic.” Pandora dryly complains. “Anyway, I overlay Dark Magician and Magician of Dark Illusion to Xyz Summon Number 11: Big Eye (ATK 2700) and detach 1 Material to take control of Brittania.” Two Spellcasters make way for a new one, a nontraditional kind, a big upside-down cone with an eye. This odd creature entrances the enemy monster with its huge evil eye, forcing it to switch sides.
“Come on! COME ON!” Sofia protests in exasperation. Just after she barely reclaimed control, she loses it again. She turns to me, the author, pleading, “Could you please give me a Heart of the Cards moment? Pretty please?” She tries making puppy dog eyes but fails miserably.
“No.” I say. “You’re not Yugi. If your Deck isn’t consistent enough, that’s your problem.”
Pandora is utterly bewildered. “Who are you talking to? Did the Duel make you crazy?” He suddenly beams with approval. “If it did, hop right in the audience! Now you’re one of us!”
Sofia, despite her deflated self-esteem, remains resilient, pushing onward.
SOFIA’S TURN: “Okay. Finally my turn. I set a card facedown. I don’t care if I lose. I just want to make your victory hard.”
Such tenacity leaves Pandora unimpressed. “How quaint.”
PANDORA’S TURN: “Magicians, attack!” He commands, eager to finish the Duel. He does not betray it, but he feels exhausted, which is a near constant state of being for anyone past thirty.
Sofia, who is not even twenty, easily fights on despite her self-doubt. “I activate Soul Leveler (Trap)!” A dense cloud of specters appear to drain half of Sofia’s life, then raid Pandora’s field, forcefully dragging his monsters to the Graveyard. (Sofia LP 2900 → 1450)
Pandora briefly puts his fingers beneath his ask to squeeze the place between his eyes. This girl is giving him a migraine. How does Maya handle her? “I set a card facedown and end my turn.”
SOFIA’S TURN: Excellent! Sofia draws a good card. “I Normal Summon Kleinekarnosaur (ATK 500) and pop it to search another Dinosaur.” The vicious little t-rex barely appears before eating itself in a gruesome but fascinating display of gluttony and rapaciousness. Sofia adds a Dinosaur from her Deck to hand. “And I banish two Dinosaurs from my Graveyard to Special Summon Ultimate Conductor Tyranno (ATK 3000)!” The massive predator, brimming with a sickly dark energy, nearly takes up the whole stage.
“Stop right there!” Pandora orders, as if afraid Sofia will declare an attack. – The window for using his Trap Card is small indeed. – “I activate Shadow Balance (Trap)!” A huge scale takes over the whole field, except the scale is alive with jaws for balances. Pandora’s side is empty, lighter than a feather, but Sofia’s side weighs heavy with a monster. The jaw underneath the dinosaur clamps shut, like the mouth of a Venus fly trap, swallowing its prey.
“Oh…” Sofia stops in her tracks. “Shinosaurus.”
“I’ll enjoy licking your saltosaurus tears.” Pandora promises her.
“Ew, gross.” Sofia recoils. “Is this harassment? I think it’s harassment.” Jolene will definately think this is harassment. Sofia turns to the audience of Ghouls. “Do you think this harassment?” Actually, Sofia just being here is harassment. “Oh, gobisaurus! STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!”
“It’s like Dragon’s Mirror but for Spellcasters, right?” Sofia correctly guesses.
“Yes.” Pandora confirms. “That is quite obvious. I banish five Spellcasters from my Graveyard to finally Fusion Summon Quintet Magician (ATK 4500)!” A tall dimensional magic mirror appears behind him, releasing the great wizard within as if freeing it from a prison. The monster itself is constantly surrounded by five hexagram circles. “Quintet Magician, attack!” All five hexagrams hit Sofia squarely in the torso. (Sofia LP 1450 → 0)
Sofia: 0 || Pandora: 1200
The Ghouls cheer wildly at the victory of their leader, and in such a close game too! Pandora can finally relax, basking in the applause. The Ghouls even applauded to Sofia, eager to give her a fine farewell before she gets butchered by the buzzsaw now swerving towards her ankles.
“Well that checks out.” Sofia remarks. She tightly shuts her eyes, puts her hands over them anyway, and starts singing, trying to make light of a dark situation. Guess she’ll have to replace her feet with a flipper.
“So long and thanks for all the fish. So sad that it should come to this. We tried to warn you all but, oh, dear. You may not share our intellect, Which might explain your disrespect For all the natural wonders that grow around you. So long, so long and thanks for all the fish.”
The doors burst open as Maya barges in, her eyes blazing red, with a blast of fire so strong the whole wall breaks down. The Ghouls flee in terror, except for the two of them still arguing about Smash Bros., but keep smacking onto the three remaining walls like flies trying to exit a glass window.
“Ce que les flambeaux!” Pandora is too flabbergasted to speak English.
The buzzsaw cuts part of Sofia’s ankle but Maya comes to the rescue before it can do any more damage. She catches the thing with her hands and tears it away from the wall. She is superpowered enough at the moment to do so but not strong enough to avoid getting her palms cut.
Maya urgently clasps Sofia’s shoulders. “By the Egyptian Gods, are you okay! Tell me where the bad man touched you!”
Sofia hugs Maya tightly, her sadness at disappointing her friend far greater than any fear for her life. “I’m sorry I failed you. I tried my best.”
Maya strokes Sofia’s hair, whispering soothing words for her. “Criminals, like the Ghouls, are AIDS. They keep adapting and coming back. There’s no shame in being caught off guard, but you must remain alert in the future.”
Sofia nods, secretly wiping her eyes. She will not dare show Maya her tears. “That’s a weird way to console someone, but fine. I promise.”
“Que fais-tu ici, folle salope noire!” Pandora shouts from behind her. “She is my spoils of war!”
Maya turns to face Pandora. She has exhausted her Ka searching for Sofia, so she makes it recede, her eyes returning to their natural dark brown color and her body no longer stronger than anyone else’s. Otherwise, the strain on her body will be too great. Now, she will have to fight with – cards? Yes. Unbelievable.
Pandora shrieks as the buzzsaw creeps nearer to his ankles, randomly waving his arms like he is a tube man. The audience of Ghouls points to their leader and gleefully boo at him, chucking tomatoes (they brought just for this purpose) his way.
“Your magic show sucks worse than Penn and Teller’s!” Yells a Ghoul. “I’ve seen better street artists in New Orleans!” Balks another. “Go back to molesting kids in Neverland, you Michael Jackson-voiced loser!” Hisses a third.
Truly loyal comrades, as Sofia observes. They remind her a bit of the hyenas in The Lion King. They even have a campy, effeminate leader. Now for some lime green smoke and – BOOM! Green smoke bursts into the air and the bright stage lights waver, beaming all the colors of the rainbow. The Ghouls balk in mad laughter at their idiot master.
Pandora shrieks at random people in the audience, “Clarence, I need technical support! Get your black-cowled a$$ here and help with the lights!” The green smoke and technicolor lights suddenly cease but the Ghouls keep having a good time.
PANDORA’S TURN: “Ahem! After I was so rudely interrupted, let’s continue the show. I resume Pandora’s Great Escape! And I start by banishing the Galaxy Cyclone (Spell) in my Graveyard to destroy Egg Legacy.” Sofia’s card dissolves into dust and gets scattered by cosmic wind.
“I activate Graceful Charity (Spell): I draw 3 and discard 2. I further augment my hand with Dark Magic Circle (Continuous Spell) to add a special card from my Deck to my hand.”
“Is it a surprise tool that will help you later?” Sofia says in a deadpan tone.
“Not in this clubhouse!” Pandora affirms with enthusiasm. “I’m using it right now: Dark Magic Curtain (Spell)! I pay half my Life so my next Dark Magician (ATK 2500) can make his great entrance!” A skeleton animated by dark magic appears to draw back the curtain behind Pandora and – ta da! – a new wizard appears! (Pandora LP 4400 → 2200)
“But I’m not done yet. Here, watch your monster disappear!” Pandora’s magician conjures a dark magic circle around Sofia’s powerful raptor, transporting it to the Banished Zone. “Dark Magician, strike her directly!” Pandora shrieks. Sofia gets struck by sudden pain all over her body, like she is dying of poison, but it vanishes as suddenly as it appears. (Sofia LP 3400 → 900)
“That should do for now. I set a card and end my turn.” Pandora concludes with satisfaction.
Sofia’s spirit – or is it her stomach? – falls to the ground. She will lose her feet and Maya abandon her out of disappointment! – Wait. Does she find Maya being disappointed scarier than bleeding to death on the floor of a degenerate’s basement. Strange world.
Sofia laughs in amusement and terror at the irony, clasping her shoulders with her hands. When she fell down, Maya and Yukio helped her get back up almost every time. But this duel is like the two times she faced Bandit Keith. She will have to magically conjure the strength inside herself, anything to get this nightmare of a duel over with.
SOFIA’S TURN: “I activate Egger Planter (Spell)! I banish the 2 facedown cards I stole from you to draw 2 cards. I play Soul Absorption (Continuous Spell) and I activate Miscelleaneosaurus from my Graveyard; I banish 4 Dinosaurs from my Graveyard to Special Summon Tyranno Infinity (ATK 7000)!” The Ghouls cheer at seeing such a small but powerful monster, jumping as if dynamite is blowing them into the sky. Things are getting interesting!
As a matter of formality, Giant Rex returns to the field stronger than ever(ATK 2000 → 3200) and Soul Absorption heals Sofia. (LP 900 → 2900).
“Tyranno Infinity, destroy Dark Magician!” Sofia commands, too eager to win the Duel.
Pandora balks at her audacity. “How naive to think you could defeat me, the master of magicians! I activate Magician’s Selection (Trap)!” The Dark Magician instantly forces the other dinosaur to appear in front of him as a meat shield, blocking the attack of Tyranno Infinity.
“Oh no…” Sofia whispers, not because her attack failed but because she could have played a Spell, but didn’t. I-I set two cards and end my turn.” Sofia stammers, covering her mistake as much as she can.
PANDORA’S TURN: The illusionist Pandora is not the greatest duelist but he is no idiot. He can read people like any good performer can, and he knows Sofia made a mistake. Now, he astutely judges, it is time to punish her for it, but he does have some respect for her. He claps in applause. “Wonderful! A fierce exchange, the kind of suspense I adore in a magic show.”
The clapping suddenly stops and the man becomes dead serious. “But you have little time to celebrate. Not with my next move: Card of Sanctity (Spell)!” Both players draw until they have 6 cards in their hand, Sofia groaning. Nothing good ever comes from this.
“I activate Thousand Knives (Spell)! I target Tyranno Infinity for destruction!” The Dark Magician casts a spell, throwing a rainstorm of kitchen knives at the monster.
Sofia quickly reacts, “I dodge the attack with Super Polymerization! Tyranno Infinity and Dark Magician fuse together to -”
“I play Illusion Magic (Quick-play Spell)” Pandora counters with deft speed. The second Dark Magician to enter the Duel vanishes from the field. Pandora adds his third and last Dark Magician from the Deck to his hand. With no second target, the Super Polymerization card disappears, but the thousand knives do not. Before long, Tyranno Infinity gets butchered.
Pandora can see Sofia’s error at last. Had she played Super Polymerization last turn, she would have won the duel. Ah, what relief!
“I discard the Dark Magician in my hand to Special Summon Illusion Apprentice Magician (ATK 2000)!” A long-haired variant of the Dark Magician Girl comes into play. “I activate Silent Doom to revive Dark Magician (DEF 2100), then activate Dedication Through Light and Darkness (Quick-play Spell) to sacrifice him to Special Summon Dark Magician of Chaos (ATK 2800) from the Deck!” At the end of this process, Pandora arrives to controlling a wizard with long black hair and tight black leather.
“My new magician isn’t just kinky, he has a powerful Effect.” Pandora assures his opponent. “I retrieve Card of Sanctity from my Graveyard and – guess what – I activate it! I refill my hand and we ride the merry-go-round once again, except this merry-go-round is covered with your blood! Don’t you think that’s fun?”
Sofia coldly retorts, “I think you need to direct the next Saw movie.”
Pandora replies, “I’ll look into it. I activate Monster Reborn (Spell) to revive Dark Magician (ATK 2500) again and activate Bond Between Teacher and Student (Spell). I Special Summon Dark Magician Girl (ATK 2300) and Set a card relevant to them from my Deck.” Master and apprentice reunite as a powerful duo and a new card appears in the back row. “Now here’s a real surprise tool that will help me later. I promise you that.”
“I doubt it. Only a fool takes the word of a criminal.” Sofia comments.
Pandora sheds a crocodile tear. “How can a woman be so young and pretty but be so cruel? You hurt my feelings.”
“I imagine it comes with the package.” Sofia postulates with a certain satisfaction. “Beauty with cruelty is not a bug but a feature in the system.” She thinks about how her friends will react to such a cynical but cliche remark. Jolene will chastise her for “internalized misogyny”. Maya will pretend to laugh like Homer Simpson, chuckling, “It’s funny ‘cause it’s true.”
Pandora chortles, “Spoken like a true realist from my birthplace. Why, you could’ve strolled through Paris with dapper shoes for all I know, but something tells me you’re not that type. Paying 1000 Life, I activate Dark Magic Veil (Spell)to Special Summon Magician of Dark Illusion (ATK 2100) from my hand!” Dark mist gathers to form the shadowy and spectral version of the Dark Magician. (Pandora LP 2200 → 1200)
“My magicians are here; they are at your service, but not for long. I activate Quintet Force (Spell)! The magicians will be gone to form a new spellcaster unlike any you have ever seen but so will all your cards.” Pandora’s monsters cross their scepter’s together, gathering the energy needed for a powerful spell. The game’s end is nigh.
Sofia wakes up with a start in pitch darkness. Her wrists and ankles hurt from being bound tightly by what feels like cold metal but, when she tries moving her limbs to free them, she discovers she cannot, no matter how hard she tries. How does she end up getting kidnapped!? Who do people think she is!? Mokuba!?
The lights come on, their sudden ignition burning Sofia’s eyes so badly she might as well look directly at the sun. Her eyes adjust, letting her see the dungeon around her through the black and blue spots blotting her vision. It looks like she is on a small wooden stage, except another stage faces her across a black pit housing a large audience of sinister men in black cowls.
Really weird and off-putting. Maybe people think Sofia is Daphne from Scooby Doo. The thought makes her so embarrassed she struggles to free herself from the chains even more, but cannot, making her wrists and ankles burn sore.
And there, across the audience on the opposing stage, arrives a man in a dazzling white suit and hat, his face covered by a wide striped mask. He announces in a quite rather high pitched for a man, “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, respectables and reprobates, muggles and magicians, cops and Crips, transexuals and transgenders, lawyers, doofuses and do-gooders, goodie-two-shoes and Ghouls, I present you the most exciting magic show this century! I introduce your leader, the one and only Pandora, the Great Archmage, Leader of the Ghouls!”
The Ghouls cheer wildly with arms out, expecting presents like they are at a Mardi Gras parade and, surely, Pandora throws candy and beads at the cheering mob. “And you are?” Pandora commands a microphone, as if by magic, to hover towards Sofia’s mouth.
The shocked woman blurts out a demand, too annoyed to care, “Cut the crap and duel me! Let me guess, you want to play a card game deathmatch. If I win, you let me go. If you win, I get sent to the Shadow Realm or the Chaos Realm or Happy Land or whatever. Just let us duel already!”
“How rude!” Pandora scoffs, and his audience follows suit, jeering at Sofia. “Before you die by my hands, would you at least like to know who your killer is and why he kills you?”
“I want to know why you have a girl’s name.” Sofia answers. “Otherwise, no. Not really.”
“What a bummer. I’ll tell you anyway.” Pandora insists.
“Please, no. Don’t torture me with your backstory. I don’t need an exposition to this chapter. Whatever you do, don’t sing, especially in an improv-”
Pandora proceeds to narrate in song:
I woke up, in darkness, My mind triggered, by an evil master, through black magic, To take a little rope, a hefty stool, and with some gumption Go hang myself. Oh, how tragic!
Sofia has enough. “I get it. It’s a metaphor for depression. It’s deep. Just stop.”
“Fine… fine.. Jack of Spades!” Pandora mumbles as he conjures a pair of buzzsaws, one on his stage, the other on Sofia’s, then makes them vanish, then makes them appear again. “Now you see them. Now you don’t. Now you see them. Now you don’t. – Just kidding.” The buzzsaws begin whirring, here to stay. “Need to know the rules?”
The magician unshackles Sofia’s wrists while buckling his ankles with chains. He tosses a duel disk at the opposite stage, barely missing Sofia’s head since he has never been good at sports. Sofia straps the contraption to her right wrist and the game begins.
SOPHIA: 8000 || PANDORA: 8000
SOPHIA’S TURN: “I Normal Summon Beatraptor (ATK 1400) And I set two in the back row!” She conjures a bird-like dinosaur with bright yellow aplomb, as well as two facedown cards behind it.
PANDORA’S TURN: “I activate Galaxy Cyclone (Spell) and I target the card on my left!” A storm of stardust blusters through one of Sofia’s cards, puncturing it. “Seems I destroyed the card There Can Be Only One. Almost all my monsters are one Type. How woefully unprepared you are!
“I proceed to attack. I Normal Summon Makyura – the Destroyer (ATK 1600)!” A black-clad executioner brandishes its massive claws, the sole yellow eye on its head glowing with malicious intent. “Turn the dinosaur into chicken meat!” The butcher lunges for the kill.
Sofia objects, “I refute your attack with Egg Legacy (Continuous Trap)!” She banishes a Dinosaur from her Deck, causing a large spotted egg to eject out of the card and crash into the assailant (ATK 1600 → 800). “Beatraptor, counterattack!” Her monster slashes the executioner with its hind legs, inflicting it with a fatal wound. (Pandora LP 8000 → 7400)
“Not bad.” Pandora compliments his opponent. “But your trap is so basic it might as well wear ugg boots.”
“Oh no you didn’t.” Sofia growls.
“Oh yes I did! You did me a great service by sending Makyura to the Graveyard, and you shouldn’t have. I am the entertainer. I provide the service. So I will return the favor by using Makyura’s Effect to activate Eternal Soul (Continuous Trap) and Magician’s Navigation (Trap)!”
Sofia braces herself. Here comes the big guns. Pandora is a feared Dark Magician user, one who even gave Yugi a run for his money back in the day. Now the man can flood the field with his ace monsters.
Pandora declares, “With Magician’s Navigation, I Special Summon Dark Magician (ATK 2500) from my hand and Dark Magician Girl (ATK 2000) from my Deck! With Eternal Soul, I’ll add a Dark Magician from my Deck to my hand. That being said, come forth my loyal servants!” Master and apprentice arrive together for the game, both monsters wearing dark green robes, a different version from the usual iconic purple color.
“Beatraptor works wonders against degenerates who abuse the Extra Deck. But they’re street magicians compared to David Blane, and like him I’m a classic who can fly. Dark Magician Girl, attack with Dark Burning!” The female magician turns Sofia’s monster into fried chicken. (Sofia LP 8000 → 7400)
“I activate Beatraptor. Since it died by battle, I Special Summon another Beatraptor (DEF 2000) from my Deck!” Another dinosaur leaps into play as if from the curtain behind the stage.
“Very well. Dark Magician, destroy Beatraptor! Dark Magic!” Pandora commands. His ace monster transforms the raptor to glass and shatters it.
“I use its Effect to Special Summon the final Beatraptor (DEF 2000) from my Deck.” Sofia states, playing her monster.
Pandora ends his turn with a facedown card, confident he has a solid board. After all, if Sofia ever tries to erase Eternal Soul, his weak point, he can easily negate the Card Effect.”
SOFIA’S TURN: “Egg Legacy activates during my Standby Phase; I add the Dinosaur monster I banished to my hand. For my Main Phase, I Normal Summon Giant Rex (ATK 2000)!” The misnamed monster – really a large spinosaurus – graces the field with a loud stamping of its feet. “I network Giant Rex and Beatraptor to Link Summon N. Raptor MaXVI – Galapagos (ATK 2200)!” The two dinosaurs evaporate into two link markers bordering a futuristic portal, out of which emerges a silly silly with spots all over its body and a shell on its back.
What a strange new monster! The audience of criminals oohs and ahs as if it is made of babies. Pandora smirks in amusement. Well, this is new.
“I activate Cosmic Cyclone (Spell)! I pay 1000 Life to destroy Eternal Soul (Sofia LP 7400 → 6400)!” Sofia declares, making her own whirling storm of stardust.
Pandora scoffs at her novice tactic. “How predictable. I banish Magician’s Navigation from the Graveyard to negate your Spell!”
Sofia happily snaps her fingers. “What I was waiting for! Now it’s time for my magic act. I activate Galapagos!” The odd raptor catches Pandora’s card with its tongue and swallows it, not unlike how a frog eats a fly, and pops an egg on Sofia’s back row.
“What in the name of Houdini’s handcuffs did I just see!?” Pandora shouts in a panic, flabbergasted.
“Hey, I thought you were the magician here.” Sofia says with a smirk. “Very well. I’ll reveal the trick. Galapagos can negate a card and store it facedown on my back row for use in the future. “Now Cosmic Cyclone gets to resolve! Your Eternal Soul card is banished!” The whirlwind of spacedust erodes the stone slab on Pandora’s field. Both magicians, master and apprentice, vanish.
Pandora starts panicking, his greasy face profuse with sweat. “Oh no! Oh no no no no no no no no!”
“I use the second Effect of Galapagos. I banish the egg – your facedown card on my field – and four Dinosaurs in my Graveyard to Special Summon two Dinosaurs from my Deck: Souleating Oviraptor (ATK 1800) and N. Raptor Apostlesaur (ATK 300)!” The egg violently breaks open, a ghastly dinosaur and a primitive reptile popping out. “I activate both monsters. With Oviraptor, I mill a Dinosaur. With Apostlesaur, I add a Ritual Monster and Ritual Spell from the Deck to my hand.”
In addition, since Giant Rex is banished, it reappears on the field and with more power (ATK 2000 → 2600). Sofia commences the right. “I activate Prime Origin Offering (Ritual Spell)! I can tribute Apostlesaur as the only sacrifice to Ritual Summon N. Raptor MaXII – Madagascar!” Apostlesaur falls into an altar resembling a volcano, which erupts with flames that form into a mighty spotted raptor.
A member of the audience cannot help but call out, “Wait, doesn’t Prime Origin Offering spell “poo” as an acronym?” The Ghouls burst into laughter.
Sofia blushes crimson. “Yes, yes it does.” She seethes defensively. “Real mature for a ruthless criminal organization.”
“Madagascar’s Effect activates.” Sofia speaks to Pandora. “I seize three cards from your Graveyard and put them facedown on my field.” The new dinosaur swallows the three cards and lays them as eggs on Sofia’s back row. “Madagascar, give Pandora a bite more than he can chew! Attack him directly!” The raptor leaps in for the kill.
“You fool! I still have a card facedown!” Pandora rebukes her. “I activate Dark Vanishing Act (Trap)! You destroyed by Dark Magician, so I destroy your monster!” A specter of Pandora’s ace monster apparates to kill the raptor with a deadly spell. In addition, Sofia suffers damage equal to her monster’s ATK. (Sofia LP 6400 → 3400)
The frightful buzzsaw edges its way closer to Sofia’s ankles. Sofia feels her heart pounding hard in her chest. Trying her best to fight her rising anxiety, she says, “Madagascar activates in the Graveyard. I can banish one of its facedown cards to revive it. Return, Madagascar!” One of the eggs shatters, and Sofia’s monster is reborn. “Continue your attack!” This time, the raptor’s hunt is a success. It slashes Pandora across the waist, returning balance between the two duelists. (Pandora LP 7400 → 4400)
All issues considered, it is a fundamental fact that New York cheesecake is healthier and tastier than chocolate mousse. Cheesecake is made of cheese, a necessary nutrient in daily life because all the food pyramids you see in the doctor’s office say so. The famous tarte au fromage frequently comes with blueberries and strawberries on top, both of which are fruits and therefore deemed healthy by every juice cleansing company and yoga mom in the nation.
My esteemed colleague, a freeloader in The Cheesecake Factory, assures me the New York cheesecake contains much less sugar than the chocolate mousse, which is produced in the bowels of the diabolical Mousse Factory, both corporations engaged in a business argument lasting generations. New York cheesecake is so healthy statisticians from The Cheesecake Factory Coard of Researchers estimate that eating ten cheesecakes each day will decrease your chances of getting diabetes. The same statisticians also confirm, beyond any reasonable doubt, that eating only two chocolate mousse in one day increases your chances of getting diabetes by ninety-eight percent.
New York cheesecake has a richness of taste and creamy satisfying flavor that lingers in the tongue only a confection with superior amounts of dairy than chocolate mousse can possibly provide. Chucky the Great, the patron deity of all cheeses from the mozzarella stick to the parmesan pizza, alpham et omegam de omne casseus delectamentum, distinguishes his prophets and other beatific noblemen from the masses destined for perdition by their increased capacity to taste and appreciate cheese. I cite the irrefutable Boden’s Law, which dictates that one’s personal preference is a natural law of the universe, a fact indisputable as Newton’s Three Laws of Gravity. I like New York cheesecake over chocolate mousse. Therefore, New York cheesecake is superior to chocolate mousse in every way.
My final attempt at making the best Forbidden Memories Deck without cheats:
Red Nova Monsters: 3x Meteor B. Dragon 3x Blue-Eyes White Dragon 3x Metalzoa 3x Skull Knight 3x Zoa
Equip Spells: 3x Megamorph 3x Bright Castle 3x Dragon Treasure 3x Dark Energy 3x Malevolent Nuzzler 3x Violet Crystal
Normal Spells: 3x Raigeki 1x Dark Hole
Traps: 3x Widespread Ruin
The primary attackers of this Deck are Meteor B. Dragon and Blue-Eyes White Dragon, both of which have the Sun to counter the Moon of Gate Guardian. Metalzoa, Skull Knight, and Zoa are secondary attackers. Skull Knight and Zoa are very important since it has Mercury to counter the Sun of Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon.
The Equip Spells exist to power up the two “classes” of monster in this Deck: bright fiery dragons and brutish creatures of darkness. All three of my weaker monsters (Metalzoa, Skull Knight, Zoa) can be powered up by the same Equip Spells. Meteor B. Dragon and Blue-Eyes White Dragon don’t have as many options but they don’t need as many Equip Spells to become strong enough to challenge a Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon.
Widespread Ruin has many uses. It is a good first move to buy you some time. You can protect yourself later in the game from a Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon or Gate Guardian in the event your opponent draws them. By having only 15 monsters, I trim my Deck of redundant monsters and enjoy Widespread Ruin while being consistent.
Raigeki is staple while Dark Hole can also get rid of your opponent’s back row.
Equip Spells: 3x Insect Armor with Cannon 3x Laser Cannon Armor 3x Power of Kaishin 3x Spring of Rebirth 3x Horn of Light 2x Megamorph
Traps: 3x Mirror Wall
This is a poke Deck, the point being to teleport Leghul and Ooguchi to your opponent’s Deck Master to make a direct hit. Man-Eater Bug, Psychic Kappa, and Roaring Ocean Snake are good side monsters that also work with the many Equip Spells in this Deck. Man-Eater Bug pops a monster, Psychic Kappa makes a good scout, and Roaring Ocean Snake transforms the field to its advantage each time it battles.
Dancing Elf and Weather Report are materials to create Dark Witch for a little extra beatdown, and to make the Deck faster. Since many monsters in this Deck are weak, you can take heavy battle damage if you’re not careful. You must heavily rely on Mirror Force to protect your monsters. Since computer opponents are idiots they will keep attacking you, triggering your critical Trap Card.
Metal Morphs Deck Master: Cyber-Stein Deck Cost: 754
Monsters: 3x Labyrinth Tank 3x Blast Juggler 3x Cyber-Stein 3x Petit Moth 2x Zoa 2x Red-Eyes Black Dragon
Equip Spells: 3x Dark Energy 3x Machine Conversion Factory 3x Horn of the Unicorn 3x Megamorph 3x Cocoon of Evolution 3x Metalmorph
Traps: 3x Mesmeric Control 3x Infinite Dismissal
This Deck relies on summoning powerful fusion Machine monsters, Metalzoa and Red-Eyes Black Metal Dragon, while powering them up to high ATK. Labyrinth Tank is another boss monster, and it can travel through Labyrinth Terrain. Cyber-Stein transforms the field to Wasteland Terrain each time it battles, Blast Juggler destroys troublesome monsters, and Petit Moth combined with Cocoon of Evolution eventually bring out Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth.
Of all my Decks, this one is the least consistent. You often won’t have enough Star Power to summon your stronger monsters and your hand will often get clogged with Petit Moth, Cocoon of Evolution, and Metalmorph. You sometimes need to discard cards to keep your Deck running.
Poison Ivy Deck Master: Dark Plant Deck Cost: 754
Monsters: 3x Laughing Flower 3x Greenkappa 3x Eyearmor 3x Kuriboh 3x Petit Moth 3x Dark Plant 3x Swordsman from a Foreign Land 3x Monster Eye 2x Leogun 2x Hinotama Soul
Equip Spells: 3x Crush Card 3x Vile Germs 3x Cocoon of Evolution
Traps: 3x Mesmeric Control
A different kind of Plant Deck, this one relies on making Crush Terrain and using monster effects over brute force. Queen of Autumn Leaves and Rose Specter of Dunn are still powerful fusions but their ATK is not a priority. Leogun and Hinotama soul fuse into Flame Cerberus, another strong side monster. Petite Moth and Cocoon of Evolution eventually make Perfectly Ultimate Great Moth, which is very useful, both as a forceful attacker and a subtle underminer of your opponent’s monsters.
The various effect monsters fulfill many functions: Greenkappa and Eyearmor mimic the ATK of the strongest monster on the field. Kuriboh insures you from damage when it battles. Monster Eye flips your opponent’s card face-up. Swordsman from a Foreign Land destroys the monster that killed it. Laughing Flower briefly turns your opponent’s creature against its maker. Dark Plant makes Crush Terrain. Hinotama Soul destroys nearby Spells and Traps when it dies.
Devilish Burn Deck Master: Kryuel Deck Cost: 754
Monsters: 3x Kryuel
Normal Spells: 3x Tremendous Fire 3x Ookazi 3x Final Flame 3x Hinotama 2x Dimension Hole 1x Just Desserts
Equip Spells: 3x Axe of Despair
Traps: 3x Invisible Wire 3x Bear Trap 3x Eatgaboon 3x Mesmeric Control 3x Tears of the Mermaid 3x Infinite Dismissal 1x Bad Reaction to Simochi
This Deck has only three monsters: copies of Kryuel, whose purpose is to make burn Spell Cards more potent. When not hitting your opponent with direct damage you take your time setting a field of many Trap Cards to stall them, either by decreasing a monster’s ATK, spellbinding it for several turns, or killing it. Bad Reaction to Simochi counters any attempt your opponent may make to rejuvenate their atrophying Life. Dimension Hole is a last ditch escape if you need it.
Monsters: 3x Roaring Ocean Snake 3x Yamatano Dragon Scroll 3x Petit Dragon 3x Root Water 3x White Dolphin 2x High Tide Gyojin 2x Catapult Turtle 2x Zone Eater
Normal Spells: 2x Umi 2x Aqua Chorus
Equip Spells: 3x Power of Kaishin 3x Spring of Rebirth 3x Hightide
Traps: 3x Mesmeric Control 3x Tears of the Mermaid
Yifan’s strategy is to create and power up fusion monsters, mostly Aqua Dragon, Kairyu-shin, and Sea King Dragon. Roaring Ocean Snake is of course a main hitter as well. Most of these monsters also transform the field into Umi Terrain as they battle, which powers them up even more and takes away field advantage the opponent may have. The Deck kills two birds with one stone. Umi and Aqua Chorus are really supplements to rub salt into the wound. Of all Decks, this one produces monsters with the highest ATK.
Some of the fusion materials have uses on their own. Root Water creates more Umi Terrain, Yamatano can transform into Yamadron over time, Catapult Turtle can blast through Labyrinth Terrain, and Zone Eater makes more Umi Terrain.
Haunting Deck Master: Swordstalker Deck Cost: 757
Monsters: 3x Swordstalker 3x Muka Muka 3x Mavelus 3x Yamatano Dragon Scroll 3x Hinotama Soul 3x Witch’s Apprentice 3x Time Wizard 3x Dancing Elf 2x Frenzeid Panda 2x Barrel Rock 2x Princess of Tsurugi
Normal Spells: 2x Burning Land 2x Darkness Approaches
Traps: 3x Mesmeric Control 3x Tears of the Mermaid
Marcus “the Muskrateer” fuses many weaker monsters into strong fusions that top 2000 ATK, all the while powering up Swordstalker and Muka Muka by filling his Graveyard. This Deck is more consistent than the other Swordstalker Deck since it doesn’t compromise with the Magician of Faith-Tremendous Fire engine. It also allows the boss monsters to peak at ludicrously high ATK because of Darkness Approaches, like getting Muka Muka to hit the ceiling with 9999 ATK. Burning Land takes away Crush Terrain and any field advantage from the opponent.
Equip Spells: 3x Salamandra 3x Gust Fan 2x Machine Conversion Factory 2x Dark Energy
Traps: 3x Mesmeric Control 3x Tears of the Mermaid
Percy “the Vagabond” makes use of the unique Immortal monsters. Slate Warrior and Rigras Leever are the primary attackers, with Gust Fan and Salamandra as their respective Equip Spells. Their ATK won’t soar to great heights but they are competent, and take revenge on their killers by making Crush Terrain when they die.
Soul Eater is the big gun, absorbing monsters in the Graveyard to top 3000 ATK with ease, 4000 ATK on a regular basis, and even 5000 ATK at times. Jowels of Dark Demise is a good tech that steals any powerful monster you can’t kill outright. Greenkappa and Eyearmor copy the ATK of the strongest monster and Change Slime frustrates the opponent by doing a kamikaze on monsters they devoted time and effort creating. Dharma Canon is useful for blasting past Labyrinth Terrain.
I’m fond of making Decks for my characters. If a Duelists of the Roses version of the Yugioh game was invented, these are the decks Maya, Yukio, and Sofia would use respectively.
Fell Dragons Deck Master: Red-Eyes Black Dragon Deck Cost: 752
Monsters: 3x Red-Eyes Black Dragon 3x Summoned Skull 3x Yamatano Dragon Scroll 3x Petit Dragon 2x Canon Soldier 2x Time Wizard 2x Witch’s Apprentice 2x Kuriboh
Normal Spells: 2x Mountain
Equip Spells: 3x Dragon Treasure 3x Nails of Bane 3x Horn of the Unicorn 3x Dark Energy
Traps: 3x Mesmeric Control 3x Tears of the Mermaid
Maya resorts to fusing B. Skull Dragon and powering it up with many Equip Spells, often with ATK topping 4000 and even 5000. The fusion materials, Red-Eyes Black Dragon and Summoned Skull, are very powerful in their own right, especially when with many equips, easily topping 3000 ATK and even 4000 ATK at times.
Thousand Dragon is a lesser fusion monster, but still quite powerful. Even the weak fusions, Blackland Fire Dragon and Koumori Dragon, can cause trouble when powered up with Equip Spells. Metal Dragon is a decent monster and a good combatant in Wasteland Terrain, which many Yorkists reside in.
The fusion materials have their functions: Cannon Soldier can break through Jasper Tudor’s Labyrinth Terrain fortress, Yamatano can transform into Yamadron to remove Terrain that gives the opponent an advantage, and Kuriboh makes a good scout since you get no damage from it.
Zombie Apocalypse Deck Master: Patrician of Darkness Deck Cost: 755
Equip Spells: 3x Violet Crystal 3x Dark Energy 3x Megamorph
Traps: 3x Mesmeric Control 3x Tears of the Mermaid
Yukio relies less on Pumpking the King of Ghosts to power up weaker Zombie monsters, instead strengthening Great Mammoth of Goldfine, Patrician of Darkness, Skelegon, and Shadow Ghoul through Equip Spells. This makes the Deck faster, more consistent, and less reliant on setup, though it can still make a couple of Pumpkings to easily power up monsters to over 4000 ATK. In addition, Shadow Ghoul can cross Labyrinth Terrain.
Fairy Queen Deck Master: Dark Witch Deck Cost: 755
Monsters: 3x Dark Witch 3x Maha Vailo 3x Fairy’s Gift 3x Wing Egg Elf 3x Dancing Elf 3x Curtain of the Dark Ones 2x Barrel Rock
Traps: 3x Mesmeric Control 3x Tears of the Mermaid
Sofia relies on churning out Dark Witch and Mystical Elf with many Equip Spells. Summoning many Mystical Elfs can power up all LIGHT monsters to an enormous amount, topping 4000 ATK and even 5000 ATK on a regular basis. Dark Elf is a powerful ally despite being a creature of the night since she has stronger base ATK.
Maha Vailo is best when in face-up Defense Position since he makes Equip Spells even more potent. Barrel Rock can blast through Labyrinth Terrain can fuse into Mystical Sand when taking advantage of Wasteland Terrain is needed.
Traps: 3x Mesmeric Control 3x Tears of the Mermaid
The main strategy is to easily churn out many Queen of Autumn Leaves and Rose Specter of Dunn, powering them up to very high levels with many Equip Spells and Forest. You can easily get their ATK to top 3000 and it’s not uncommon for your monsters to top 4000.
But even the weak fusion materials have strong effects. Laughing Flower and Dark Plant can delay your opponent’s monsters by controlling and destroying them. Green Phantom King can give your Queens a little boost. Magician of Faith can reuse Tremendous Fire, both staples among my Decks, allowing you to dish out up to 6000 direct damage.
The six Trap Cards are staples in all of my Decks; they weaken your opponent’s monsters and make them sitting ducks for you destroy them and damage your opponent’s Life.
Pumpking Patch Deck Master: Pumpking the King of Ghosts Deck Cost: 757
Monsters: 3x Dragon Zombie 3x Wood Remains 3x Dokuroizo the Grim Reaper 3x Fiend’s Hand 3x Mammoth Graveyard 3x Abyss Flower 3x Dark Plant 3x Magician of Faith
Normal Spells: 3x Wasteland 3x Tremendous Fire
Equip Spells: 3x Dark Energy 3x Violet Crystal
Traps: 2x Mesmeric Control 2x Tears of the Mermaid
This Deck is the most complicated. Preferably, you will start out with about two Pumpkings to boost your monsters. Great Mammoth of Goldfine is the most powerful fusion monster you can bring out. With a little patience, you can easily get it over 4000 ATK. Wood Remains is a good soldier, especially if you get many out since they can power up each other, letting you easily top 3000 ATK, and at times even 4000.
I purposefully chose weaker Zombie monsters as fusion materials so I can make more Wood Remains if needed, as well as to fuse with Magician of Faith to and a Plant monster bring out a Pumpking. The purpose is to make the Deck go faster and avoid dead draws by fusing more monsters. Finding out just the right monsters was a struggle and took a long time.
I use a “rule of two” when playing this Deck to avoid a dead hand. If I have two or more Plant monsters in my hand, I use them both to make a Pumpking or use one of them when making a Great Mammoth. The same rule applies to Zombie monsters and Magician of Faith.
The fusion materials have their own uses. Fiend’s Hand can pop an enemy monster. Dark Plant makes Crush Terrain. Magician of Faith recycles Tremendous Fire. Dokuroizo the Grim Reaper is immune to Trap Cards.
Aldying Deck Master: Swordstalker Deck Cost: 756
Monsters: 3x Swordstalker 3x Muka Muka 3x Mavelus 3x Frenzied Panda 3x Hinotama Soul 3x Petit Dragon 3x Time Wizard 3x Magician of Faith 3x Dancing Elf 2x Princess of Tsurugi 2x Ancient Jar
Normal Spells: 3x Tremendous Fire
Traps: 3x Mesmeric Control 3x Tears of the Mermaid
The main strategy is to power up Swordstalker and Muka Muka by fusing a lot of weak monsters together to make more powerful creatures. While you should normally fuse with as few materials as possible, this Deck takes an opposite approach. You should fuse as many materials as possible, even if you don’t have to, so you can stack up a big Graveyard to power up your boss monsters. This way, Swordstalker tends to top 3000 ATK while Muka Muka climbs up to 5000 ATK.
I struggled over a long time to choose the right fusion materials so even the fusion monsters easily top 2000 ATK. They are relatively weak but still give the opponent a hard time. Such monsters are: Thousand Dragon, Crimson Sunbird, Punished Eagle, Flame Cerberus, Mystical Sand, Stone Dragon, and Garvas.