Maya: 7200 || Magian: 7000
The big duel catches everyone’s attention in the big city by this point. The police and protestors, who violently clashed moments ago, watch Maya and Magian square off in rapt attention as if the duel is an epic baseball game. It might as well be spring even though it is the cusp of winter. A few news reporters arrive at the scene by this point alongside many drones capturing tonight’s news from the air.
Maya almost purrs as a contented lion as everything is going according to plan. As she said many years ago, dueling is not about winning but about making a point. And of course about making a show. Sofia secretly planted electric bombs in both Maya’s and Magian’s duel disks. The loser will become burnt meat. Now isn’t that fun? True, this kind of entertainment is a little rough, but the degenerate masses always enjoy a blood sport.
As for Magian, he never enjoyed playing a card game as much as he does now, like the good old days when he played poker but, instead of betting money, the players had to take turns playing Russian roulette. A part of him exhilarates in the crowd and media gathered around him and his opponent though he laments over the few human faces awash in the sea of machines. He had a German Shepherd, Ellie, a true companion after his family left him, but she died from gunshot wounds during a police chase. Dogs and cops no longer work together. Unthinkable.
MAYA’S TURN: Maya pays Life Points for the upkeep of her Terrorking Archfiend (Maya LP 7200 → 6400). Then, she expands her devilish army. “I activate Archfiend General from my hand; I discard it to add Pandemonium.” She activates the Field Spell and the street transforms into a fiery pit guarded by the bones of ancient fiends long extinct.
“The bowels of Hell,” Magian comments. “Where your black soul is destined.”
Maya retorts, smirking, “Guess we’ll be playing card games in Hell forever.
“I’ll use Archfiend Emperor’s effect to banish an Archfiend card in my Graveyard to pop your back row.” Surely enough, the monstrous king draws upon dark magic from the netherworld and burns away one card. “Now, my dark emperor, wipe out Triparte Unicorn!”
“Sorry to burst your bubble.” Magian counters. “You destroyed the wrong face down card. I activate Mirror Force!” A holy barrier catches the archfiend’s hand blows him to pieces, taking out Terrorking with him.”
“Mirror Force? How quant.” Maya scoffs. “I activate A Deal With Dark Ruler! Destroying my Level 8 monster fulfilled my contract, letting me Special Summon Berserk Dragon from my Deck!” An even more ferocious monster, a black dragon skeleton with evil glowing red eyes, lands on the field, shaking the ground. (Magian LP 7000 → 6000)
The shock overwhelms Magian so much he nearly falls to the ground. The protestors cheer from the back, rejoicing to see a porker eat some concrete. “Do what you like! No matter what happens I will defeat you! I’m not a winner, not a quitter! I told you I’m not good at giving up!” Magian yells, desperate to save face.
“Please,” Maya snorts. You’re not an anime protagonist. You’re a porker, a mook, a redshirt. I eat henchmen like you for Sunday brunch.”
“Keep making fun of me and see where that gets you!”
Maya wonders, pretending to be clueless, “I mean, I would roast you but cooking pork isn’t kosher. Speaking of roasting, Berserk Dragon, cook me some Triparte Unicorn!” The black dragon burns its hobbled quarry to ash. The meat, needless to say, is overdone.
“And I activate Escape from the Dark Dimension! I banished her to use my Archfiend Emperor’s effect. Now, Her Majesty arrives with pomp and circumstance! I Special Summon Archfiend Empress!” A tall dark queen bearing a certain resemblance to Mary Stuart graces the court, accompanied by a small orchestra of fiends playing royal music with duck kazoos.
This little stunt causes Magian to laugh in good fun. Something about it makes him, as an Italian Catholic, very happy.
But Maya puts his moment of bliss to a sudden end. “Empress, attack him directly!” The archfiend conjures a deadly spell of fire with her scepter and blasts Magian, throwing him off his feet. (Magian LP 6000 → 4100) I enter my End Phase and send Gunnerook Archfiend from my hand to the Graveyard.” All of Maya’s monsters that died this turn come back, even Archfiend of Gilfer, and Maya draws a card amid more cheers from the protestors.
MAGIAN’S TURN: Magian sighs in relief. This strategy will help him stall a bit. “I activate two Card of Safe Return and then Monster Reborn to bring back Triparte Unicorn!” His monster gallops up from the Graveyard back to the plane of the living and Magian draws two cards. “I’ll strengthen my unicorn with Wild Nature’s Release!” The unicorn gains so much power and rage it boils completely red, steam coming from its nostrils. (ATK 2800 → 4800)
Maya grimaces with a humorous expression made famous by Obama. “Not bad for a mook.”
“Triparte Unicorn, skewer Archfiend Emperor!” Magian commands. “Show Maya the strength that surpasses Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon!” The unicorn would drill the emperor a new hole but his queen, Archfiend Empress, is able to protect any Archfiend from being destroyed and so blocks the attack. (Maya Life 6400 → 4600)
“Isn’t friendship magic?” Magian snarks.
“No. No, it is not.” Maya says.
Magian, forced to a defensive position, sets a card facedown and ends his turn with a grumble. His Triparte Unicorn dies from the effect of Wild Nature’s Release, which triggers its own effect Magian Special Summons his three banished beasts: Elephun, Gallis, and The Wicked Worm Beast.
MAYA’S TURN: “I enter my Standby Phase, so I banish Gunnerook from my Graveyard to revive Infernalqueen Archfiend from the same realm.” A black cloud rises from the ground and forms into a lesser queen of fiends, and Maya draws a card. “And I banish an Archfiend from my Graveyard so Emperor can destroy your back row.”
“I activate my Set card: Beast’s Pride!” While the Archfiend Emperor does burn Magian’s card to ashes, his monsters all glow with a powerful prideful red aura, protecting them any form of destruction this turn.
This doesn’t sadden Maya too much. “Oh, well. I’ll just strengthen my chess army. I network Terrorking, Infernalqueen, Empress, and Gilfer to Link Summon their patron deity, Archfiend Goddess Caissa!” Maya’s fiends merge into the four corners of a six point grid portal, activating it, and the great goddess of dark beauty emerges.
“I use one of her many effects to Special Summon Flankfool Archfiend from my Deck. Then I Special Summon Archfiend Commander from my hand.” Two new demons appear, a frightening jester wearing a mockery of a bishop’s vestments and a larger fiend in formal clerical jewels, which destroys the jester right after he comes from the field. Thus, Maya adds another Archfiend monster to her head because of Pandemonium.
“I activate Call of the Archfiend, discarding a Fiend monster to Special Summon Archfiend Empress from my Graveyard. And I Normal Summon Archfiend Battleballer!” The queen of devils returns and a new subject of hers, a sportsman in football gear, joins her side.
Maya inspects her Graveyard: 8 Archfiend monsters. “Yup, it checks out. Caissa has 6400 attack strength. Bobby Fischer would be proud.”
Magian gives Maya a stare so blank Maya can almost hear crickets in the background. Maya sighs. “6400, like 64, like the number of squares on the chessboard, and Fischer died when he was 64? Whatever. It’s cool how Archfiends symbolise every sport, even chess.”
Magian forcefully rejects the idea. “Chess is not a sport!”
“You’re a professional party pooper, you know that?” Maya complains. “It’s literally part of your job to ruin parties.”
“What can I say? Drug dens go against truth and justice.”
The protestors hiss and boo at Magian for such a remark. The police shout them down in anger.
“You really got brainwashed by Nixon, didn’t you, you old fart?” Maya says, annoyed. “Regardless, I set three cards facedown. Since I now enter the End Phase, I can banish Flankfool from my Graveyard to return a dead Archfiend to my hand.” Maya carefully selects one such monster, the first one Magian milled. Fitting.
Meanwhile, her Berserk Dragon weakens further. (ATK 3000 → 2500)
MAGIAN’S TURN: “I activate Ayers Rock Sunrise to Special Summon Biparte Unicorn from the Graveyard!” He two-piece chimera returns to the field. “I really hope my next two cards help me.” Magian says to himself, silently praying to God. He then draws two cards.
“Excellent! I activate Biparte Unicorn’s effect to Special Summon Green Baboon, Defender of the Forest from my hand!” A barbaric ape giant wiedling a cudgel also appears. “And now, I Tribute Elephun, Gallis, and the Worm Beast to Tribute Summon GIANT DIVINE SOLDIER OF OBELISK!” The heavens themselves seem to quake and the street almost splits open as the god descends to earth in the form of a gargoyle as tall as a small building.
Maya gasps in shock and despair, “By Alfred Robert Kahn, how could I let this happen!” The activists wail openly, their faces ashen, while the police rejoice.
“Who is laughing now, you smug c*nt.” Magian gloats. “Time to eat your words! I offer Biparte Unicorn and Green Baboon to Obelisk to activate his greatest ability, SOUL ENERGY MAX!” The god clasps both monsters so hard their guts pop out, absorbing their energy until its color transforms from blue to bright purple, its attack strength becoming infinite! “GOD HAND CRUSHER!” Obelisk smashes through Maya’s army, obliterating them in an instead, and strikes Maya directly with its fist. (Maya LP 4600 → 0)
Maya flies several meters in the air and crashes on the steel traffic grates, hitting her head so hard she nearly blackens out from a concussion. She vomits on the street, her body violently shuddering. Now she knows how Malik felt after he got battered by Obelisk but for Maya it is even worse as great god now has infinite power.
Magian exults in his successful assault, eagerly watching Maya cough and hack her insides out. He freely ejaculates every victory shout he knows, which is only five, and the police join him. The protestors fall on their knees and begin crying. They know they are done for.
But something isn’t right. The duel holograms should disappear by now but they did not. Why!? And Maya’s field has a face up Continuous Trap Card, which keeps gaining Counters at breakneck speed: 20 Counters, 60 Counters, 100 Counters, 200 Counters, 700 Counters, 999 Counters. Magian was so euphoric he forgot to notice Maya played a Trap Card. But why should it matter?
The protestors ask themselves the same question. Maya slowly crawls her way back to the field, still hacking now and then. She shouts, “Time out! Time out! TIME OUT! How in the name of 4Kids Entertainment did you get your hands on Obelisk!?”
“A lovely rich Chinese lady gave a copy of the three god cards to me.” Magian explains. “Very generous of her, though I have no idea why.”
“Yes,” Maya says to herself and you, the audience. “Why would Yifan give such powerful tools to a random chud? Unless she wanted to test me by setting me up against a god. How devious of her. Truly worthy of the Asian stereotype.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway. You lost.” Magian reminds her.
“Did I?” Maya winks at him. “I activate Relay Soul! You brought my Life Points to 0 but this card carries my existence to a monster I get to Special Summon from my hand. Come forth, Archfiend Swordsqueen!” A brand new creature emerges, a demon swordswoman in light armor with martial arts so graceful she seems to be dancing. “She also grows stronger by the combined Levels of all the Fiend monsters you killed.” (Archfiend Swordsqueen ATK 2500 → 5700, Maya LP: RELAY SOUL)
“Talk about a broken card effect.” Magian complains.
Maya hits back, “Says the guy who played a god card with infinite attack strength! I play Relay Soul and I’m cheap. When Yugi plays Relay Soul he cleverly escapes the jaws of defeat!”
“You’re not Yugi. You are not anointed by God to be King of Games.”
“Please. I don’t have to be a pharaoh, a god on earth. I only have to be Maya, a normal mortal human being, which is far greater. Killing god is the bare minimum required for someone as strong as me.”
MAYA’S TURN: “My face up Trap Card, Ring of Fire, should have infinite counters since I took infinite battle damage but it doesn’t look like the designers foresaw this possibility. I send it to the Graveyard to power up Archfiend Swordsqueen by 100 points for each counter!” 999 Fire Ring Counters infuse the fiend with their hellfire, bringing her attack strength to exponential levels. (Archfiend Swordsqueen ATK 5700 → 105, 600)
“WHAT!?” Magian gasps in utter surprise. The protesters cheer for Maya once more.
“I activate Infernal Bombast to double her power!” The warrior queen roars as even more hellfire strengthens her. (Archfiend Swordsqueen ATK 105, 600 → 211,200)
“WHAAAAAAAAT!? Magian shouts again. The protesters reach a deafening roar.
“And I reveal my face down card, Pump Up! I double Swordsqueen’s power once more!” The archfiend blazes in a flame as bright as the sun. (Archfiend Swordsqueen ATK 211,200 → 422, 400) “Not exactly infinite but blame KaibaCorp’s primitive technology.”
“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?” Magian is flabbergasted.
The protesters break into chant:
“Hey hey! Ho no!
Pink fat porkers got to go!
Ho ho! Hey hey!
No Momentum U.S.A.!”
Maya gives her farewell speech to all of New York City. “I said before dueling is not about winning but about telling a message! Here it is! Neither you, nor your police force, nor your city, nor your country, nor your high mages are a match for me! I embody something far greater than any nation, any god, any civilization!”
Maya roars a final time, “Archfiend Swordsqueen, destroy Obelisk and Magian!” Her ace monster leaps high in the air, briefly turning night into day, and in a blaze cuts Obelisk in half down the middle. The great god shatters into flames. Magian screams as the meteor storm rains down on him. (Magian LP 4100 → 0)
Maya concludes, “God is dead. And I have killed him.”
Maya: RELAY SOUL || Magian: 0
“Now for New York City’s penalty game.” Maya says to herself. Magian gets off easy: as soon as his Life Points hit zero his duel disks fries him with a powerful shock, killing him before he even starts falling to the ground. Magian falls into blackness and all of downtown follows him. Every electric instrument shuts down: every light winks out, every phone breaks, every police robot slumps, every news drone crashes to the ground from the air, everyone is cast into darkness.
There is absolute silence for a moment. Then someone panics, shrieking, “We’re all gonna die!” Protesters and police riot in the chaos, clashing with each other once more. But the police, having lost their guard robots, are severely outnumbered. The protesters bulldoze the cops and raise every street downtown in a blind fury. Thus, we witness the world’s darkest night so far.