Hoity Snoot Reviews: Harry Potter and the Muggle Death Eaters

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Quite some time passed between Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. What most people don’t know, however, is Harry Potter’s adventure in between: Harry Potter and the Muggle Death Eaters.

The film begins in the Ministry of Magic where Harry’s boss, bored with her high status, assigns Harry Potter a secret mission. Harry must infiltrate a group of muggle death eaters, informally known as Neo Nazis, White Nationalists, and the Alt Right by muggles, to stop them from poisoning a city’s water supply. Harry agrees to the task, shaving his spiky black hair, covering up his lightning bolt scar, and reading Nazi literature.

Harry acclimates himself well to the muggle death eaters, meeting all sorts of interesting people. He graces himself with dignitaries such as Rush Limbaugh; an entertainer who hosts radio shows in his basement and David Duke; the soft-spoken but completely fucking insane leader of the death eaters. He acquaints himself to other royals of the master race, including a crazy skinhead, a thuggish skinhead, and a poor kid skinhead.

Harry’s secret agent job is difficult, as too many death eaters are suspicious of him. He helps the Ministry capture Rush Limbaugh, who admits to his captors that he tells stupid muggles lies they want to hear to make a living. But Harry also cozies up to David Duke, the muggle equivalent to Lord Voldemort, and sees a fellow man with very human passions, hopes, and fears. Yes, death eaters are people too.

David Duke nearly succeeds in poisoning all the mudbloods in the city but Harry and the Ministry bust him right on time. Harry and his boss reflect how fascism and other radical ideologies are all founded on resentment and victimization before sharing a butterbeer together at an English pub. The muggle world carries on, oblivious and apathetic to everything that happened.

Harry Potter and the Muggle Death Eaters is an exploration of the diseases infecting white America from the inside out, diseases created by feelings of fear, resentment, and entitlement to their dwindling social and economic advantages. While America’s decline is a complicated history with many factors and destroys the lives of nonwhites even worse than those of poor and middle class whites, the death eaters focus their confusion and rage on a single target. I need not mention whom.

This makes them gullible and incompetent, as a conman like Rush Limbaugh easily swindles them with obvious propaganda. The master race, mighty and strong as they are, is easily outmatched by a group of teen anarchist punks on the street. They can’t even poison a city let alone defeat the ZOG machine.

While a fair share of muggle death eaters are poor dumb skinheads, Harry’s biggest rivals are affluent, eloquent, and highly educated. David Duke lives in a large house, has a huge library, and listens to Brahms. He is the model of the American family man. Contrary to popular belief, the most conservative of Americans are not poor, undereducated whites but middle class, college-educated whites. They were the largest demographic to vote for Trump in the 2016 election.

It is important to see how radical ideologies gradually seep from the fringes of society to the mainstream, usually to lie dormant until released. This happens across the left and right of politics, as many militant anarchists and fascists are middle class. Trump appealed to the resentment and underlying racism and fear of white middle class Americans during his campaign, a resentment that was cultivated by decades of coded language and fear mongering. It wasn’t the only important factor that got him into office but it is a big one.

~Hoity Snoot

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